We head to Mendoza to catch up with Dutchie who had left a few days before... She has a tighter schedule (and a lovely arse) than us but will be in Mendoza for a while... The night buses are pretty comfortable and we can sleep well, we get lucky and this one is really empty so all four of us get a double to do as we please with....
Mendoza is a wine city, with wine yards, mountains and great trails surrounding it... The hostel that we meet Dutchie in is great, fairly cheap, swimming pool, 5 of us in a 7bed dorm means we pretty much have it to ourselves...
We cook as much as possible to save money but also eat out at some good places, Paul's pasta being one of them... I'm sure that the hotdog culture here is massive, well it is infact with stands and shops selling possibly hundreds a day... I'm also sure that from one these stands was where I got my first taste of the dreaded "s***s"...
Now we all no of the deli belly, and other foreign delights but let me tell you, the Mendoza destroyer is a different bread..!! It was coming from both ends, people say I couldn't even hold down water, well I couldn't even look at water..!! Things came out of me that I hadn't even seen on the national geographical channel or babe station..!! To quote one my fav comics, it was like emptying an old radiator...
This lasted a good three days before my birthday sky dive, but just before all this happened we did go on a pleasant bike ride With mr hugos bike company where they encourage you to drink as much red wine as possible on a 15km ride... Now it's not that I don't like wine, well actually I don't, it's for people that get out the bath to wee...!! I drink cider and I piss in the bath... simple ;-) haha... But yeah it's not that I don't like wine it's just this stuff was foul, it was like drinking vinegar mixed with car fuel... Our Canadian friend loved it, see to him getting drunk wasn't a social bike riding thing it was a challenge of who was the bigger man and look at me I can do no handed and crash, or pull a wheelie and fall off... He decided to buy bottles of wine instead of by the glass and got quite merry along the way... The rest of us just enjoyed (or not for me) the free samples of wine and olives... When we got back to me hugos the Canadian unfortunately missed the bus back to town... I'm sure I remember seeing a pair of feet sticking out from a barrel of s***e wine but I could be wrong... He did return at some silly hour bragging about wine he had drunk but we was all over it by then...
The next few days in Mendoza where filled with lots of toilet breaks and trying to make plans for my birthday.. Our laundry was clothesnapped for these few days too, we had put it in for 24hour service but got it back 3days later... We planed to have a meal at a rock n roll bar, then hit the town, all this after the small adventure of my first sky dive... Now to insure that this went to plan and that I wouldn't need a s*** break half way down I decided to take some Imodium.... Now the question is how many do you take when your pooing like a hose pipe... Well 6 in the morning and 2 after your jump is plenty let me tell you...
The morning of my birthday I was woken at 6am by one the sweds with a birthday cake and what can be described as a flare in it, the room was full of red smoke, ballons and excitement..!! They really made an effort for me, one il never forget... I jumped in the freezing pool just so I wasn't thrown in then got ready for the day ahead...
I headed off to the air field safe in the knowledge I wasn't gonna poo myself, there was 5 us doing the Jump and after a small car accident on the way we arrived at the field... The plane was over 60years old, held 4 people including the pilot, it had ashtrays and the guy we jumped with was strangely comforting... I was 2nd to jump and decided to go to 12000ft instead of 10000ft... Now sitting in a plane watching the ground disappear is one thing but when you are about to jump out its completely different... Sitting in an open door of a flying plane is unreal and There are no words to explain that feeling of falling, or the relief when the shoot opens and you know your be safe....?! All I can say is if you ever get the chance to fall out of a plane safely please do it...!! The views I had where amazing, the feeling of falling is amazing, all I can say really is WOW the Imodium had worked I didn't s*** myself... ;-)
That night we all got jazzed up in our best backpacker clothing an headed out for steaks and drinks... The guys I was with had managed to buy cider wine which at the time I never really thanked them for, it was a great gift so thank you all... We eat, drank and was very merry... Unfortunately the Canadian didn't last the night but the rest of us enjoyed, live acoustic covers, played drinking games, spoke to locals and had of course the "hotdog"..!!
Now I don't know if it was my drunken ability to suddenly think i was invincible or the hotdog or the simple fact that the Imodium had run there course but while myself and the swed was taking a cheeky piss on the side of the street and talking of great football events from Charlton athletics history my bowel/bottom gave way and I s*** myself...
Embarassing as this situation was, there are a few things you can do, you could smile and try carry on or do as I did... Grab your arse, hold it all together and run to the hostel shouting "I've s*** myself"...!! It wasn't the best ending to any of my past birthdays admitted but the next few hours I sat naked on a toilet, bin in lap emptying myself... I was a costume of a man, I did manage to clean myself up, and get to bed about 6am, not so embarrassed but more disappointed I never took 10 of those little fcuking pills... ;-)
We was ment to leave Mendoza the next day but I'm pretty sure that we was too hungover to move so did so the next day...
Chile would be an adventure itself but that would wait for the next instalment: valparaiso, great steaks, Easter island, statues, more dogs and 6 in a jeep...

Peace out much love mick xxx