Arrived 0550hrs in Kyoto. We had a good sleep on the bus, found a wee cafe open @ 6am so we got brekky (more eggs). Had to sit sit outside hostel for an hour as the rest of the world doesn`t waken till around 8am. Once settled in the new pad we shot off out so excited about temple spotting, i could hardly hold Susan back!! First stop was the Kiyomizu temple followed by a few others. Lots of walks and paths around the temple full of tourists, but no....Susan chooses the only path with nobody on it up the back of the public toilets. So we found ourselves treckin thru some spooky woods with Japo signs (probably tellin us we were not allowed to be there). Too busy checking for frickin spider webs in the bushes Laney was in another world.....until a bit of tree stick fell from above and landed in her hood!! Aaaaaargh!! I was s***tin me breeks, and Susan was pissin hers....what a bloody mess! Quick smart out of these woods, no more directions from Sue. Stick to the crowded areas i think. All templed out now!!

We spotted some Geishas and got so excited i almost pee`d my pants. Quick quick get the frikin camera Elaine.....check their wee wooden shoes out!! Snap happy we were dead chuffed with ourselves, until we walked a little further and saw some Japo tourists getting all made up in a Geisha costume studio. We were gutted..FAKES!

On way home Laney spotted a big stork in the river and as the gypo peered over the bridge her eyes were drawn to the glinting of silver......holy moly it`s a box of guns!! That s*** makes good money down paddy`s market! I had to hold her back from scaling the banks to go fetch them. Tempted by a crisp sandwich she was back at the Hostel in no time.

Decided we would head for China on Friday so we had to think about bookin the Ferry. We tootled off around to the local travel agents to book it. A process which would take a Jap 10mins took us about a feckin hour. It was so exhausting watching the Japs run all over the place trying to accomodate our needs that on our way home we felt rather parched so we invested in a 1.8litre CARTON of wine which set us back 3quid. Fired up the grill and whacked in our mini pizzas, didn`t realise it was meant for cookin fish so within seconds there was smoke belchin from the door! Fireman Sue lept to the rescue and pushed a Jap out the way in order to save our dinner! Beamer was easily hidden by the heat in kitchen! Japo`s were not impressed with the smell we had created......stuff em we had some serious drinking to be getting on with!

A fellow Celt graced us with his presence when he sniffed out our booze. Stephen the Irish American. We sat up debating highly important issues affecting the world today (Rangers, Celtic and fookin good music). Befriended a 20 something white haired yank whom Susan christened the Silver Fox. Poor soul even had to fund our drinkin for the evening when Sue ran oout of change for the vending machine! Susan was on a roll with the banter and befriended a baby Jap who was up with his mum for a midnight snack.....or so Susan thought until i reminded her it was feckin 4am. After a little resistance i got her into her jammies and tucked up in bed.

Next day we were up early and managed to spot a Shoo in the hostel. Going to get gun from the river for some proper hunting. Took the bus to the monkey park and hiked a mountain to see the wee b***ards. So excited about seeing them i wanted Sue to take a picture of me up close to one. Which one, which one? That one looks good....quick quick snap us together. `Never look a monkey in the eye` it said on the leaflet! When i looked down to make sure i didn`t stand on his foot he was starin back at me RIGHT IN THE EYE. Oh crap he launched his hairy wee body at me grabbing my right leg....faster than speedy gonzales i shifted foot and made way for the other side of the park!! Lets get the hell out of this bleedin park Susan....monkeys are dangerous. Oh no...it`s feedin time, about a hundred of them congregated in one wee cirle munchin nuts. We hid in the wee shop till we saw a break in the crowd, then made way for the stairs and shot off down the hill. Very scared after this near loss of limb so we didn`t hang about. More money well spent!!

Back to hostel, met Stephen and went Geisha hunting. Found nice restaurant and had Jap pankakes with chopsticks - delicious!! We passed a row of vending machines the length of the Great Wall of China, you can`t turn a corner without seeing one of them. You will never go thirsty or fagless that`s for sure. Came home via Irish pub and a very kind but not so helpful Japanese girl walked us half the way. Said our goodbyes to Stephen and the Silver fox and got ready for Osaka.