This is the first of the four backdates I'd planned on for China, although it now means I'm falling behind on Thailand. I really should be able to handle a 20 minute weekly blog. However, it has had the desired effect - I've been doing a lot of academic writing and I think a lot of it is coming out better than my MA work, although it's taking a lot longer too. I had Claire to bounce ideas off before, so without being able to really talk through things it's slowed down the writing process.

Nevertheless - working in China. First of all, the process to do things officially is difficult to the point of impossible. The embassy in London wants to see 3 months of bank statements showing a consistent balance of £500 credit (something I probably wouldn't have been able to show them from any point in the last 5 years) and a return ticket, which I didn't want. Our first time in Thailand was compromised by a return ticket, I'm really enjoying the freedom this time even if there is a risk if I get reckless with money.

So with this bureaucracy, everyone does pretty much the same thing and goes on a tourist visa. In London this is still a hassle and a major expense, we found that the price difference by getting it done in Kuala Lumpur would pay the hotel bill for the 3 days you'd spend there (there is an express service too, but we were in no rush). We'd had a skype interview and then booked our flights for 2 weeks later, so the ADOS (assistant director of studies) met us from the airport and took us to the apartment. I blogged about our first impression before as there was no electricity, a fridge upstairs having exploded and leaked through our roof. Cockroach traps were everywhere, and I even cleared out a few dead ones in our first week and hid it from Claire. Last week she told me that she found a dead rat in the washing machine, which is a new low. She plucked up the courage to pick it up and then just threw it out of the (fourth floor) window.

In addition to entering the country technically illegally and finding the apartment less than described, be prepared for contract surprises. We were with EF (English First Chengdu) who are one of the biggest companies in China. They're actually very well respected there compared to their reputation in the UK. The nice surprise in the contract was that office hours weren't enforced. We could come and go as long as we taught our classes. There were a few hours of office time that we had to do, the quantity of which depended on how much the boss liked you (I had a lot).

Chinese students are actually a lot more unruly than you might expect. These kids have 10 hours of school, then music lessons and after school or weekend schools (like EF), and a ton of homework every night. From the age of 10, the pressure is so much that most students won't go to sleep until after midnight. Sport is only for those who are really good at it, there's no sport for fun. A little bit of internet or TV time (I did a survey in my classes and found it was less than an hour per week) is the treat. So essentially, they're knackered. And they're used to poor quality teaching, tests that you can't really fail, and grades measured entirely by the quantity of homework done. Motivation is tough, and there's usually one fat kid (usually called Tiger) who just wants to ruin the class.

Gradually though, I either won over or swapped out classes and found myself with a decent timetable. The public school I visited once a week was still appalling, but even there I'd got a small group of students I liked and could just zen out on the rest. I don't know what teaching there would be like long-term, but I'd suggest that most career teachers avoid it. It's a break, and a good chance to build your motivational skills, but essentially you're wasting your time. I talked to some people who taught at prestigious schools and universities and it sounded better, but the same issues repeat ad naseum.

As with any class though, surprisingly, once you've got over the sensation of nobody caring what you do, you start to take a bit of professional pride. It's also a lot easier to teach than to think of loosely linked games or watch kids colouring in for 2 hours. Adult and university student classes were a lot of fun, so about 20% of my timetable was actually enjoyable - probably better than most jobs.

I was sad to leave these classes without saying goodbye, but the school loses face if teachers leave so they made up a c*** and bull story about me having to go back to the UK for visa/emergency issues, and that I'd be coming back. Presumably in a few weeks another lie will be told to explain me never coming back, or they'll just hope nobody asks. A group of uni students I had said they didn't want a substitute teacher and would just postpone the classes until I was back - that will be a bit awkward because they need to make it sound like I'm not coming back for some serious reason that isn't to do with hating the job, but not so serious that it will look odd that my girlfriend is still teaching there. That rules out most injuries (especially STDs), family issues, or having surprise children. Or maybe they'll construct a whole web of lies, even writing a blog of the fictional me as I strive to get back to China but am constantly thwarted by things outside of my or the school's control. Thankfully censorship is so rife that they can use news stories from the past without it being an obvious lie, so I've probably been held up by a volcanic ash cloud and French farmers protesting about BSE beef from England. Or maybe I'll be like the guy from Quantum Leap, always trying to get home but helping to fix just one more life before I do.

So anyway, once you're done in China, there is another visa surprise waiting for you. An expert visa is actually very expensive, so the school will do all it can to delay paying for it. It wasn't until I came to leave that I found out I was on a business visa, which is for people travelling to China on work. This meant that everything I'd earnt in China was illegal, and I couldn't convert it to another currency or send it out of the country. Black market dealers are at every bank, but essentially you've got a bank full of Blackpool Pleasure Beach Tokens. I took my chances and brought the cash with me, converting in Thailand is actually very simple (though only really in Bangkok, the banks elsewhere take about 10% commission).

So - working in China can be quite good if you're struggling in your home country (as we were),but everyone there really has an exit strategy. You can save decent money (I saved about £350 per month) if you can get it out of the country with you, expectations are low, and the mix of expats is much more diverse than in Thailand (they even have women teachers). There are some British Council jobs which, as they are in most places, are highly sought after. Generally, though, it's not worth it for the work. If you don't discern a purpose, you'll soon lose your enthusiasm. And if you're in a public school, just remember who has to mark that 4 hours of homework which every one of your 50 kids in each of your 20 classes has done…