Meeting back up with our Canadian friends, Brooke and Luke we fly to the Philippines, first stop the capital city Manila. Before we begin to tell you of our adventures in the Philippines there are a few things you should know: Karaoke is hugely popular everyone can sing well and has a favourite tune, secondly beer is so cheap and alcohol in general, a litre of rum cost $2 and thirdly on a more sinister note sex tourism here is massive. It doesn't take much to spot them either, a badly dressed, older, slightly rotund male with a young attractive Filipino woman on their arm.

Arriving in the early hours in the capital we travel to our hostel not entirely content with the price tag we decided to take a walk around the local neighbourhood. We soon return to the original hostel after witnessing a sex tourist getting his arm licked and Paul being accosted by a ladyboy who claimed he had *gruff voice* "pretty eyes", all this before 7am.

Having little experience of sleeping in dorms Brooke and Luke were unsure what to expect from our fellow roommates. Although Paul and I assured them that everything would be fine and people adhere to etiquette. We could not have prepared them for the moment when they opened the dorm room door and were greeted by a naked prostitute staying in the bed opposite. Lovely as she was I think we could have all done with seeing less of her vagina.

Surprisingly, we were glad to leave Manila's red light district and fly to Cebu. Cebu is part of the Visayas island group. Settled into our lovely hotel, Palazzo Pensionne, we went in search of some Fillipino culture. First stop the cathedral and Magellan's cross, Catholicism is huge in the Philippines and as it was a Sunday morning God's house was packed, as a result we did not actually see the cross. As well as religion an additional remnant of Spanish colonialism is the architecture notably Fort San Pedro built in 1575, the oldest of its kind in the country. Despite attempting to embrace the culture the highlight of our time here was a meet and great with a teenage heartthrob in the back room of a barbers- let us elaborate…

Melting in the heat and rather peckish we went to the mall which was again busy especially with teenagers. Wandering around we realized that the one and only Joe Jonas was making an appearance in the mall that afternoon. For those of you who don't know Joe is a singer and part of the Jonas Brothers (modern day Hanson without the long hair and Mmm bop), who found fame on the Disney Channel. None of us being big Jonas fans, or fans at all for that matter, Paul and Luke go for a haircut and shave while Amy and Brooke wandered around. Unable to escape the hysteria of the 12 year old Jonas fans, who have swarmed the mall, Amy and Brooke become desperate fans. Befriending a Fillipino security guard and waiting eagerly at the stage exit, opposite the barbers shop, Luke joined the girls ready to snap a picture of the famous Jonas. What transpired next can only be described as chaos. Word spread around the mall of Joe's departure point, hundreds of girls descended outside the stage exit, screaming and crying. Paul, inside the barbers having a cut throat shave with a towel over his eyes, is confused by the racket. Joe comes down the stairs but unable to cope with the madness is bundled into the barbers shop. The rest of us frantic for Jonas, turn and along with the other fans we press ourselves up against the window of the barbers. Unfortunately he is out of view instead we stare screaming at Paul, who is now locked inside the shop. Desperate to get a glance at Jonas, we manage to convince our security guard pal that we need to go into the barbers and speak to our friend, Paul. All this is aided by the fact that the four of us, like the cool kids that we are, are wearing matching t-shirts. Once inside the barbers and still caught up in the madness Amy and Brooke ask Joe's security guard if they can meet the heartthrob. Ushered into the backroom Amy and Brooke come face to face with Jonas (who is absolutely lovely), after a few snaps and a bit of verbal diahorrea from Brooke, Jonas disappears out of the barbers and into a forest of fans. The rest of the day is spent playing over the incident and coming down from the high that was Joe Jonas.

Back to reality and off to Bohol an island famous for its Chocolate Hills- huge mounds of coral deposits and Tasiers- small primates (tiny monkey like creatures). Our base for the next few days would be 'Nuts Huts' which according to the Lonely Planet was "a backpacker's oasis". Bulls***, it was an overpriced shed in a jungle with expensive low quality meals and about as accessible as North Korea on a Tuesday, or any other day for that matter. It's a 10 minute scooter ride down a road that is not a road and infact a very muddy series of inclines and declines. Going over 5kph will certainly result in you coming off the bike as Paul did, struggling with our big rucksacks we made the pilgrimage to Nuts Huts.

After a day exploring the beautiful island and eager to escape from the reality of our dire accommodation we decide alcohol is needed. Stopping in a small village hoping to buy some rum we are side tracked by the sound of karaoke. Following the music we arrive outside a hut, peering inside we see a group of Filipino men, a karaoke machine, some chicken and a lot of rum. Seizing the opportunity to entertain, they invited us in, eager to do some karaoke we oblige. Inside the hut we are treated to some real Filipino hospitality. Drinking rum and singing some Phil Collins with the locals is a highpoint of our trip to Bohol, what happens next is most certainly a low point. We trudge, reluctantly, back to Nuts for a massage, Brooke and Luke followed by Amy and Paul. The place where we have the massage is a storage room/staff bedroom/massage room lay face down on a sweaty mattress (we later find out the sheets have not been changed) and melt for the next hour as a woman rubs baby oil onto us, great!

Back to Cebu which will be our launch point for the island of Malapascua. First we head to the mall not in search of celebrities but a Happy Hour. And a Happy Hour it was six drinks for $4. The only condition, men have to wear sleeves and cannot, like Luke, drink whilst wearing a vest. The dress code did not correlate with the clientele; the place was crawling with sex tourists, older white unkempt men. Wondering whether or not to leave the waiter appears with a jacket for Luke to wear whilst drinking. So we sit in a sea of sex tourists, Luke wearing the waiter's jacket and drink!

Malapascua, home of the Thresher Sharks, is our next destination. The rare animal is aptly name due to its huge tail which can reach 2 meters. Using it's unusual tail to its advantage the shark repeatedly thrashes its prey and then eats it. As we are all avid divers we sign up to go on a morning dive, between 5- 6 am the sharks come up to a breathing station at about 20-30 meters, at all other times they usually remain at least 40 meters or deeper. Doing two morning dives we failed to see them, Amy had problems with her ears and Paul had some decompression sickness, all in all not the best diving experience. Brooke and Luke however did manage to see a shark, oh well another reason for us to return. We spent the rest of our time on this fabulous, picture perfect island, eating (we managed to find a delicious roast dinner), drinking (we traveled from bar to bar taking advantage of the happy hours) adopting dogs, sleeping in a 'ghetto' and been woken at 5 am by the neighbouring c*** farm. For those of you, who like us, thought that c*** only crowed once in the morning you are wrong, very wrong. As we discovered the c*** repeatedly crowed from 5 am onwards, no chance of a lie in, well they say traveling is an education. Sleep deprived we leave the island and head to Palawan, another part of the Philippines.

Reading about El Nido "drifting through limestone cathedrals and azure lagoons" (Lonely Planet, 2010) we were not disappointed, it is without doubt our favourite place in the Philippines! The scenery is breathtaking, jagged rocks meet the turquoise sea which is laced with golden beaches. The town is surrounded by hundreds of small islands, part of an archipelago, the only thing to do is get in or on the water. Firstly we need to sort out our accommodation, looking around it becomes apparent that rooms are quite expensive becoming concerned about our wallets we stop in at guesthouse, owned by a lovely lady called Marlin. She shows us round several different rooms one of which has two double beds, enquiring about the price we ask, "is this the same price as the other rooms even if there are four of us" "yes" she replies. As soon as she utters this she realizes she could have charged a lot more and the four of us snap up the room at a decent price. El Nido, which although is relatively touristy, only has power for 16 hours a day, 2pm - 6 am. With only two fans in our room, like clockwork we would wake to the sound of the fan winding down at 6 am.

What to do in a place as beautiful as this? The first day we hire some kayaks and paddle out into the ocean visiting a number of deserted islands stopping on the white sand beaches taking a dip and having a picnic. There are many boat trips on offer here, we have already been advised to do tour A and C, unsure who to book a tour with we ask Marlin who arranges it all for us. Waking up at 6 am the next day (we are keen to get a headstart on all the other tourists) captain John and his son Jeffy greeted us, the six of us board the boat and we are off on one of the most amazing days of our trip. Although we will attempt to describe the scenery to you we don't think words do it justice, hopefully sometime in the near future we will get round to uploading pictures. Sailing out in the early morning into a deserted ocean, surrounded by jagged rocks, blue skies and even bluer seas, we are treated to one isolated beach after another. Snorkeling, swimming, relaxing at the water's edge we have an absolute feast of a BBQ on the beach, bliss!

After such a relaxing day we decide cocktails would be fitting for the evening. Off to the local market Amy and Brooke return laden with mangos and rum. Spotting a blender in Marlin's kitchen we convince her into letting us borrow it. We whip up Mango Daiquiris overlooking the ocean and watching the sunset, cheers.

Feeling a bit worse for wear the next day after the mango extravaganza, we board the boat ready for our next day in paradise. The hangovers seem to dissolve into the background as we swim around in the crystal clear waters. One of the highlights of the trip was Paul discovering a secret cave, we manage to convince John to come in with us and even brought a flash light along so we could check if there were any snakes inside. Excited, he told us that 'Paul's Cave' would become part of his future tour itinerary.

Another stop on the tour was the secret beach, pulling up alongside a cliff face there was no sign of a beach, perplexed we got into the water and began to swim towards the cliff. Diving under water 4 meters there was a hole in the cliff face, swimming through we emerged the other side. The secret beach lay before us, a small shore lined cove surrounded by rock faces, with only an underwater entrance and exit. Still on a high we made our way back to El Nido.

John and his son Jeffy, looked after us so well on the boat, the food was amazing and they were great company. Extending their hospitality further they invited us to come to a karaoke bar, owned by John's sister. Out for dinner in El Nido and unsure where the karaoke bar was, we meandered down the back streets of the town, well and truly off the tourist track now we became a spectacle to the locals unaccustomed to seeing westerners in their neighbourhood. Miraculously we find John and he guides us to the bar. In western terms the name bar is probably a bit of a stretch it's more of a living room/shed/corner shop equipped with a karaoke machine. The place is bustling with locals all there to sing their favourite song, something they do so well putting us to shame. Braving the mic we get up and belt out a few numbers, ABBA, Enrique, Spice Girls. The atmosphere is great everyone is so friendly, some a bit too friendly as Paul discovers later on. We continue to drink with John and talk and sing away the night with the locals. Paul having had too much to drink bids us farewell, heading home he is followed by a very camp gentleman (who has been eyeing him up all night in the bar) talking away and chancing his luck he ask Paul for a hug. Paul kindly refusing the offer continues to walk on, the guy then asks can I give you a kiss. Paul, a big hit with the gentlemen of the Philippines again declines the man's advances and retires for the night. Back at the karaoke bar we witness a fight, a lady boy sing Mariah Carrey (which reduces some of the audience to tears) and begin to dance around on the tables.

Sad to leave El Nido we go to the capital of Palawan, Puerto Princessa, for the Filipino Independence day, which unfortunately was not heavily celebrated. We did stumble on a local night market and food stalls which were delicious.

So that's it for our time in the Philippines with our visa expiry imminent we head to Bangkok, to spend more money than we have, see you there!