Morning ladies and gents,

Right we're sorry this hasn't been updated and our message board has become a ticket touting website but anyway we're back now!

I'll apologise in advance for the length and perhaps sometimes 'blue' language im going to use during the course of this blog but I've got a lot to get off my chest!

Anyway all the way back to Adelaide...we flew out early on the Sunday 5th April, we were on the same plane as the Adelaide AFL team who were playing the West Coast Eagles that day in Perth. It would be good if I cared about AFL but as i don't then nevermind...wasn't quite as good as catching Moyesy and the boys at Runcorn train station.

Anyway touched down in Perth and it was roasting hot and im not lying if i was to say in 2 weeks ive not actually seen a cloud! It's been high twenties to low thirties all the time...so lucy has finally managed to get a bit of a tan for all of those who were worrying over her 'tan-ability'. Perth as a city is very 'pretty' and the waether is great but f*** me its dull! Everywhere is shut from Sunday to Thursday...well when i say everywhere i mean all the bars and most of the restaurants! what's that all about? The first night we got here I headed the casino to watch Everton-Wigan as apparently that's the only place open on Sunday night and they wouldnt let us in! Apparently a driving licence telling them im 23 years of age isn't good enough! I was like "Let me get this straight" to this stupid short arsed woman on a ridiculous power trip "I can rent a car, board a plane and enter every bar in the rest of Australia but you won't let me into your casino?" And she said I was being "overly aggressive and drunk" then some big black fella moved in and i was just like "you're f***ing ridiculous" so we left! so that pissed me right off and Perth flew down in my estimations. Evenbtually found the game but had it switched over on me a t half time so a load of Paddy's who knew nothing about 'soccer' could watch Man United...i was furious.

Anyway the week got better as it went on, we headed to the beaches at Cottesloe and Scarborough, chilled out in the park, went shopping for Lucy's straw "it's cos my head burns" hat, Liverpool got thumped by Chelsea and so on and so forth. The only downside was that the backpackers we stayed in was just so full of Irish people who all seemed to be best mates. But they were just too Irish. Everybody knows the Irish love a drink or pretend to at least but these jokers would just drink all day everyday and stumble round just being loud and generally acting like d*** . The climax came when i was watching United-Sunderland last Sunday and one of the p**** hit me with a snooker cue because i was in his way playing pool...the fact that he never asked me to move and i had my back turned while I watched the footy so he just hit me with it to move me! That resulted in a slight 'disagreement' shall we say, but I got to watch the footy and he didn't come near me again and the next day we left and set out on our road trip round the South West.

We headed the 380km down to Albany, a whaling town apparently, it was s***...don't go. Unless you have a perverted obsession with a humpback whale. I know it was Easter Sunday so I shouldn't have expected much but it was grey, dull, cold, everywhere closed early and nowhere had Fox Sports so I could watch Everton. I eventually found one bar but it shut at half time...thanks for that!

Anyway the next day we headed to Pemberton, the weather picked up, even if the attractions didn't. We headed to the Valley of the Giants whcih the Lonely Planet recommends as one of Western Australia's 'star' attractions. The way it was sold to us was that the bridge swayed replicating the movement of these giant 60metre plus trees so we thought we'd be walking on rickety old rope ladders from tree to tree, living on the edge abit. Erm...no...we walked on this massive steel structure that was probably the strongest bridge ever and could easily carry cars across it. It moved slightly, imagine the Millenium bridge in Newcastle or that one in London that sways abit, hardly replicate 60 metre swaying trees. Anyway jumped back in the car and headed to Pemberton, which is a tiny little town famed for its forests. We actually did a proper tree climb, up another 60 odd metre tree. The photos don't do it or us justice becasue basically it had little steel pins sticking out of it acting like a stair case but they were near vertical and one wrong foot and im not lying you'd be dead. So anyway we climbed to the top cos we love life on the edge and also as it was probably the only thing in Pemberton to do.

We left the next morning (Tues 14th April) and headed to Margaret River, the 'jewel' in the crown! We weren't disappointed, it was a really touristy town but it had great beaches where we tried abit of surfing, the waves were f***ing huge! Everywhere else in Australia you're banned from going in the water when the waves are that dangerous, not Margie River...they actively encourage you to get involved! So anyway out of our fool hardy sense of adventure we waded into the Indian Ocean and got smahed around by massive waves for a few hours...loved it! Then we went out for perhaps one of the best lamb shanks ive ever had and it cost like $19 which is like 9 quid. Im not lying it was better than Ferrari's or Owens or any of them. So yeh we liked Margaret River and the next day we went wine tasting and visited the chocolate factory and a brewery. Lucy got a little tipsy as i chaufferured her around about seven wineries and she discovered a new type of wine she like 'Verdelho'?? Anyway she bought a bottle and a whole heap of chocolate from the chocolate factory. The only downside was that we managed to get abit of sand or water in the camera when we were surfing at Margie River so we don't have any pics...soz!

That night we stayed in a little town called Dunsborough, we just had fish and chips from the take-away and stayed in all night cos we'd blown our budget for the week already. Then the next day we drove the 230km from Dunsborough up to Perth. We got to Perth about 3.15pm-ish. As the camera was not working we decided to visit the camera repair shop and try and get it fixed asap as we leave in our campervan on Monday and we'd need it back by then. So anyway drove up to the camera repair shop but got stuck in traffic and the car was meant to be back to 4.30pm so now it was a race against time. Anyway as nice as the woman was in the camera repair shop she couldn't do anything for the camera as it would take 4 weeks and we were like "erm no" so we jumped back in the car and had to head all the way out to the airport as the stupid car rental place doesn't have a city location! I'd spoken to the woman and said we might me 5mins late and she said nothing of any help except it would be a $35 late fee! Anyway we arrived 4.36pm and she slapped me with a $75 late fee! I went f***in ballistic...cheeky b****. I was 6minutes late and it wasn't even like she was going home...she was working there til half five anyway! So i was there arguing my point like "what's it to you? you don't get that $75 do you? but its alot to me" etc but she was having none of it. By this time i was in a rage then some fella, who can only be described as a w***er came out and went "Oh trust it to be a scouser who's arguing...they're just the rules 'mate' you gotta pay"! I was just like "f*** off"! So then we left and got the bus back to where were staying.

Anyway we're off in our campervan from Monday and internet resources will be abit scarce so don't expect too many updates for a couple of weeks. Have fun at Wembley this weekend...i'll be taking my passport to the casino this time so they surely can't not let me in!

Take care....come on the blues! xxx