It has been such a long time since I wrote a blog update (just checked it was last April so 6 months ago) reflecting on how life here is becoming well my life rather than an experience or maybe an interlude to the rest of my life. Then, I realized there is a lot happening and changes afoot, which would be good to record, possibly the last of my blog posts or a recognition that they will be very few and far between - who knows…

My contract with Fairtrade Africa is nearly up; if I take out holidays I have just 6 weeks left, so that year has gone fast. When I reflect back, I know I will feel like I have actually achieved something and contributed to the organization and learnt a lot, Especially about the differences between the private sector and the not for profit NGO world, and more specifically one run along democratic principles, which in my book means there can be abdication of leadership and lack of decision making - but many positives as well.

So on saying that, I have made a decision I want to make my life to be here for now - who knows about the future. But I don't want it to feel it is an interlude. I also know I want to use my skills and experience in the food industry, in sustainable supply chains and people leadership in a large organization to add some value to another organization. And that could be in the private sector or the development arena as long it is making a difference, and I am having conversations with both and pretty hopefully in the New Year there would be something new for me.

I also have settled down a bit, meeting more people that are here for the long term and not just for short periods of time. That was great early on when it was all new and exciting and you are meeting like-minded people from all over making similar decisions to come out to Africa, many for ideological reasons. I think my reasons were slightly less that way inclined and more about new experiences and changes but I am naïve if I think there was not a hint of that too. I now have fewer acquaintances but some good few friends, more closer to my age who I feel comfortable with. My settling down may also be a reflection of co-habiting with my fairly newly acquired boyfriend….can you use that word when you are in your 40s? I am pleased to say my decision to stay and career direction was made prior to meeting aforementioned man, and as an independent singleton for many years I hate to think that would have swayed any decision. But of course, it makes a difference and makes making a life here easier and more exciting.

As this was never a blog about my love life (good job too as it would not have been very long) I will not go into many details other than it is all going well. He is older than me and not exactly the party animal, but we have a lot in common especially diving so I am hopeful this will be for the long term, but we have both been through enough in the past to know you have to make the most of it as you never know what might be around the corner.

The other events affecting my life over the last few months include the inconvenience caused by the huge fire at Nairobi airport. Thankfully no one was hurt but I was due to fly out on a British Airways flight the following day to go to good friends Annie and Justin's wedding and catch up with friends and family but it was clearly not meant to be. The only option BA gave me was to get myself to Lusaka, Zambia to get a flight or to fly on 18th, the day after the wedding. Not only was that very disappointing but to then find all the expenditure from my highly organized tight schedules to get all over the UK to see friends and family and to Ireland for the wedding with of course meticulous planning and pre booking at costs were not covered by my travel insurance - unbelievable - what is the point?

Then of course there is the atrocious shooting in Westgate Shopping Mall on 21st Sept by the militant group Al Shabab. A name we all know here and associate with the odd grenade throwing usually in the lower income areas and the fact we are searched on entry to all buildings and shopping malls, opening the car boot up for a quick check, allowing mirrors under the car and if you are lucky a glance down at them, and hand held metal detectors to pass by our bodies and bags never really beeping - so what does a grenade sound like anyway? I don't blame those security guards and I hope it does put off any unorganized groups, but it would never make a difference to a planned attack and one like this one that has been talked about for the last 18 months. I first heard about what was happening at Westgate on the morning I flew to Egypt on a diving holiday, deemed not the safest of locations. A close friend of mine texted me while I was connecting flights in Cairo to say there was a major shooting and our close friends all seemed to ok but it seemed bad. News then rolled in, and we soon learnt just how bad it was over the coming few days. Coming back just over a week later, you start to meet more people that were there or friends of friends caught up in it, hurt or even died. People I know were trapped for hours with indiscriminate shooting all around them when they were just planning their usual Saturday morning shopping trip, something I have done there on many occasions. Of course I have been asked if this changes my view on living here. No it doesn't. Terrorism can happen anywhere and I was in London on 7/7. But what has happened afterwards worries me, we still don't know really how many people lost their lives - what has happened to the over 40 people still missing, why was everything looted and by those in power - the security forces and why is the government more concerned about appearance at the ICC than standing up and doing anything? Not only that, but it feels with all the attention in Westlands, there has been an increase in the usual crime we experience here with no real law enforcement for muggings or break ins, often at gun point and it feels these are on the increase especially in the more wealthy areas. I still very safe in my new house but I am not sure I would have in my old place.

So life goes on, the sun sets at around 6.30 and is up around 6.30 with little change year round. Traffic feels even worse but is just consistently bad (and I am now driving - it's very simple, there are no rules and just big pot holes and unmarked bumps to eat you up or throw you in the air). The climate feels cold when it is only 12C and we all complain and wear scarves, but that's a bad winters day and even then the sun can shine and it will be in the 20s. Just an hour or so out of town, you can be watching giraffe graze on your lawn or an hour by plane you can be diving with the fishes in warm water - so life is not so bad.