Salsa and Spewing

We travelled from Macara by taxi to the border and got our passports stamped by a confused looking policeman. Didn´t have to pay anything so that was OK and then we walked across the river to Peru. We got stamped again and held our breath in case they asked for onward tickets.... thankfully the British Passport bypasses all this red tape.

We got a collectivo taxi and played musical chairs all the way to Sullana. There were two people in the front passenger seat, three in the back seats and two in the boot with our giant bags! Kulaks.... They kept swapping round as people got out and more got in, certainly an experience. From the backwater of Sullana we got a tuctuc to the bus station and tried to get a bus to Trujillo. All were full so we went to a different bus station and got a bus to Piura, where our bags mashed lots of new sweeping brushes in the hold. We finally got to Piura and booked tickets for a bus to Trujillo. What a palava! The depression was taking hold until we sat down at a cafe/restaurant thing and got a menu in spanish and babelfish english. It was this menu that broke the depression and we were once again reduced to hysterics whilst kulaks looked on non-plussed.

Following is a sample of all the menu delights on offer (some make no sense at all):

1. Have Chameleon for breakfast. (The restaurant was called Chameleon and meant their special not eating colour changing reptiles!)

2. Dad´s fried portion. (In spanish: Papas Fritas.... The word Papa means potato and father. He he)

3. Chops of Beast (Beef ... we think)

4. Chicken to the plate

5. You eat, you refill (its all a bit of guesswork)

6. Popes you refill (papa also means pope!)

7. Sandwich of Chicken, Pork or Beast

8. Yuk, Coffee, Manhandle (manhandle is apparently chamomile)

9. Black Shells (everybody´s favourite)

10. Soap to the minute of chicken and beast

11. Soup of diet

12. Absorbs of fish

13. Sweated of mere (still don´t know what this one is)

14. Handbarrow (as above)

15. Filet to Macho

16. Loin to the juice

17. Steak with dad´s fried

18. Steak to the plate

19. Steak to the poor

20. Drunk (Meant to say Drinks)

21. Rice to the Cuban

22. Beer in tin or bottle girl

23. 2 small sticks

24. Gizzards

25. Harness (Side Orders)

There were others but these were chosen as the most mind boggling. We were glad to have the spanish menu... it made much more sense! We left Piura much happier.... all it took was a bad menu and it broke the spell. Another contributing factor was that it was incredibly warm and sunny.

From Piura we got to Trujillo in the dark and finally got to Hunchaco by taxi and went straight to Casa Suiza. We hopped out of the cab and were shown to our room at Casa Suiza, where we were blessed with a hot water private bathroom (a relief alter the Macara disaster). We cleaned up and settled down for the night. The next day Lisa did some washing and waterproofed her coat (badly). We took a stroll round the lovely town and checked out some other hotels. We were very tempted by a posh hotel complete with swimming pool, but in the end found one that was half price of Casa Suiza and twice as nice. We even had a lovely roof terrace for sunbathing that no one else used.

Huanchaco is famous for surfing and body boarding. There are also lots of funny wicker canoes that fishermen row you out to sea in, and then let the surf bring you back to shore. We both wanted to do this, but were too scared of the kulak fishermen. Alter watching a few lifeless attempts, we realised that maybe we hadn’t missed out on anything after all. Lisa wanted to go body boarding but was too scared to go and hire one. Instead she just went swimming in the freezing sea. Needless to say Charlie refused to accompany her.

Beauty and the Beast

Much to Lisa´s delight, a veggie restaurant was sourced at Huanchaco. Although a bit expensive, they did really good breakfasts. However, everything has a downside, and once again the cause was people! Here we met a lady from Kent (who thought Lisa was from Oxford ha ha) who was trying to move here from Britain. She was renting an apartment with her local boyfriend who was about 20 years younger than her and spoke hardly any English (and she hardly any Spanish!) One of her boyfriend’s friends approached us and started a conversation. He looked very traditionally Incan with a very big bony nose and huge Janet Street Porter style teeth. Somehow, we all ended up on the beach and Lisa somehow found herself salsa dancing with him, even after many useless protestations. Every time he tried to pull her closer, Lisa pulled away and pretended she had made a mistake in the dance. While she squirmed the man pleaded through his gnashing teeth “look at me!” Charlie laughed. Lots. A rendezvous was arranged for 9pm in the romantic location of beneath the palapa huts on the beach for the 2 new love birds. Tragically, this meeting never took place.

Sam and Ella

We found a nice cheap place to have dinner, although one day Charlie got more than he bargained for – food poisoning! One entire day was spent wasted in bed – Jane Fairfax disease. Lisa kindly acted as a slave. A short medicinal walk to the veggie restaurant for some non-threatening food was followed by 5 bouts of vomiting in the street before the food had even arrived. Nice. Still a little fragile, the invalid and the slave made their way to the bus station where an 8 hour overnight bus to Lima awaited them.

Final thoughts: A beautiful fishing village spoiled only by food poisoning and salsa dancing.

Mark out of 10 = 8

Next time… Lima