The Kiwi Experience Bus Logistics

Before I continue to bore you with what I have been doing for the last few weeks, it is perhaps time to tell you a bit about the whole 'Kiwi Experience'. Even before going I had made the decision to use the Kiwi Experience bus to explore NZ I had heard of its reputation for 'fun and frolics'. Whilst the more sensible traveller chooses to travel with Stray or Magic, a different kind of traveller altogether chooses Kiwi.

I found it really quite amusing that each bus really can be divided up into different social groups and its no cliche to say that the same can be said of every bus, truly making the whole experience an extension of high school.

The first group you notice (and my particular favourites for observing) are those I like to call the 'London lads'. Immediately recognisable by their shaved heads and extreme shortness, they can be found towards the back of the bus watching British gangster movies on their Ipod Touch or sleeping. They almost never move from their seats, except to eat, naturally. They bypass every viewpoint the bus stops at and pass up any photo opportunity. In short they have very little interest in NZ at all. Their lack of pretence at any interest in relation to culture or any amount of beautiful scenery actually really quite hilarious. It leads everyone to question why on earth they are actually in NZ, when all they do is drink and sleep, which most of their friends surely do in Spain. Indeed I have even suspected they may in fact simply be skipping the country...

Behind the London Lads sit 'the Backseat Skanks'. These girls certainly intermingle with the London Lads as they both are only able to communicate with fellow Cockney accents and those with loose morals. The girls are naturally enough British, pretty young with a fondness for too much makeup, very little clothing and loud giggling.

The third social group to make up the Kiwi Experience are the '18 Year Olds'. Having only just finished school, they have been sent off my their mummies on the safe environment of the bus and are generally pretty clueless about travelling outside the confines of the bus. The usual topics of conversation amongst the 18 Year Olds are A Level results (generally slipping in how many 'A' grades they got, believing it will get them respect...), universities and predominantly made-up sexual and drunken exploits. Struggling to assert their individuality, they attempt to make themselves as weird as possible. This can be seen in every instance from their reading material (any kind of attempt to make them seem clever, including critical theory debates, yawn), outlandish clothing (cos yellow sunglasses are so out there and mum isn't there to say no) and general bizarre and provocative statements ('What's a spring roll?' Yes, really). More often than not they are all talk and no trousers. They have a tendency to become a bit overexcitable and often end up in bed at 11pm, snoring, after a few too many sherbets.

Another great source of amusement for me are the 'Danish Twins'. Now every bus I have been on has had a pair of pretty, blonde, slim girls of varying Scandanavian origin, whom no one can tell apart. These girls flirt outrageously with the 18 Year Olds, but it never goes anywhere. Realising their unavailability, one is then only left with the Backseat Skanks.

The rest of the bus is made up with a few odds and ends. There is always at least one tall Dutchman. His role is to be tall and Dutch and possibly to be accused of looking over the shower doors at the girls. There are also a few Canadian girls. They are very very nice, but very very dull. Every bus also has at least one couple who don't sleep in the dorms with everyone else, thus automatically segregating themselves. Therefore on nights out, they can always be seen standing slightly away from the group, looking nervous, pretending to join in.

So where do I stand from within these politics? Well I tend to move amongst everyone. I've found a particular affection for the 18 Year Olds, as I kind of feel like their elder sister. Despite only being three years older, I've realised that university really does make you grow up a complete lifetime. They think they know everything, when in fact they know nothing. However, this is really quite endearing. Although their tendency to talk over each other and their desperate attempts to tell their experience can get a little much. I've also been lucky in usually finding other judgemental souls like myself to share a sarcastic comment and the odd eyebrow raise with. It really has felt like quite the learning curve and the big green bus has certainly provided me with plenty of entertainment!

More to follow! xxx