The single most difficult thing about Las Vegas is how to best make use of your time whilst there. As anyone who knows me is aware, I hate to miss anything, so to this end the following morning we got up relatively early and headed to a cut price ticket place to see what shows we could see whilst in town. We had both decided before we even got there that we definitely wanted to see a Cirque du Soleil show, which would be expensive, but undoubtedly one of the highlights of the American leg of our trip. We'd hoped that we'd get tickets for that evening, but unfortunately A)the ticket place didn't actually have any available for any of the Cirque du Soleil shows (there's 3 or 4 on in different hotels on the strip) and B) on a Tuesday they were 'dark', meaning it was their night off. We headed off feeling a little despondent, but hungry(!) and so went on the hunt for somewhere to eat. We discovered that when in Vegas, if you mistakenly end up in a hotel, you're stuck. They deliberately make it difficult for you to find your way out, presumably because they think you'll be drawn to the Blackjack table or slot machines. Every so often you'll see posters that say things like "Control your gambling...make sure you take care of your children" Frankly, I'm of the opinion that if you're sat gambling while your 6 year old goes wandering up and down the strip, it's going to take more than a gentle reminder from a poster to solve your problems, but I guess some people find it compulsive. Having won a sum total of b*gger all ever whilst gambling, I'm able to curb my urges! Having navigated our way out of a couple of hotels we eventually ended up in Flamingos...a slightly less salubrious hotel, which had a cafe that served BLTs, so we were both happy. We find that generally meal times last about 20 minutes from sitting down to paying the bill as service is so efficient, so once we were done, we headed out back to the strip via the gardens of the hotel. Which were more like a zoo. I have to say it is very odd to see flamingos in the middle of a big city when you're not expecting it, but we were quickly realising that Vegas was nothing like we expected it to be...

We had decided over our BLT that we would go direct to the hotel and see if we could get tickets for the following night's 'O' show by the Cirque du Soleil. It shows in the Bellagio, so we navigated our way through their casino and the abandoned small children roaming around (not really...keep up there folks!), only to be disappointed that the show was sold out, but the guy behind the counter was able to offer us tickets to another; Mystere at Treasure Island. We decided that we were eager to see any of their shows so bought the tickets for the Wednesday night. Satsified with our big purchase we headed off. We were aware that we had nothing planned for that evening and much as the Strip is fascinating, we wanted to do something a bit different. We went back to the cheap tickets stall and (rather embarrassedly, if that's a word) requested tickets for 'American Storm' - which, if you've been reading my message board, you know all about already. To justify this decision, I would just like to say that I have never been to a strip show before and wouldn't normally condone such chavvy behaviour (honest) but we decided that if you're going to go and watch a group of men strip off, then the best place to do so is Las Vegas - baby! The lady in the ticket place assured us that they were really fit, but then I guess she's hardly going to advertise it if they're a group of munters, is she? Feeling ever so slightly giggly, we went back to the hotel to get some rest before the big night.

That evening we ate at the Luxor buffet (future reference, nothing like as good as Aladdins) before going and getting in a taxi to the other end of the strip. We'd realised that we'd been walking miles and as our strippers based themselves at the other end we decided to splash out and have a local drive us there. The taxi driver was just about ready to be committed to some sort of asylum and decided to take us the long way round, but it gave us an opportunity to see Vegas by night from the Interstate, which is even more surreal than actually being in amongst it all. Imagine driving down the M4 and looking down to see the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, a bl**dy great pyramid and more neon than you could shake a stick at...most odd. Our trip advisors in Pahrump had suggested we go to a place called Fremont Street to have a look at the 5 times nightly light show. Fremont is a place that is safe enough to go in a cab, but we had been told in no uncertain terms not to wander off the beaten track unless our chosen method of ending a perfectly nice evening involved a gun or a knife. Apparently not the nicest part of town. Anyway, we got there to find a roofed shopping/tourist/gambling street which was absolutely flooded with neon and tourists drinking cocktails from foot long plastic cups. We gathered that we were in the right place and settled in waiting for the show to begin. At about 8 o'clock all the neon switched off, plunging us into darkness and the show began. The only way I can describe it is to say it was like a very brightly coloured video with a very loud soundtrack being projected onto the ceiling. It lasted about 10 minutes, at the end of which everyone clapped. Satisfied that we'd seen what we came to see, we went and got into another taxi which took us to the Riviera - home in its day to Frank Sinatra and the like....now home to the American Storm strip troop! We had some time to kill and so decided to test the theory that if you insert a dollar into a slot machine and wait, you'll be approached by a cocktail waitress and will be able to get a drink for a one dollar tip, rather than paying almost 10 dollars at the bar. Well clearly we either look as if we don't drink or we don't have money, because it took bloomin' ages to get the attention of the scantily clad waitresses...but we did eventually and proved that the theory is indeed correct. Aware that there were packs of giggly middle aged women wandering around, we suddenly came over very British and subdued - not really knowing what we were letting ourselves in for - and decided that we would head for the back of the theatre, away from potential moments of crowd participation. Unfortunately skulking at the back of the queue had the opposite to our desired effect and we were led to a table extremely close to the front. And it was a small room, so there was no means of escape. We swiftly ordered 2 sea breezes (b*gger the cost, this is an emergency!) and waited. Eventually the show started. I'll leave the gory details to your imaginations, but rest assured, I am no longer a cynic about these things. These men were amazing...Greek gods! They were the winners of a sort of X Factor/Pop Idol for amateur strippers which was aired on VH1 (Will Young and Shayne Ward, eat your hearts out!)...and boy, were they good. I was sorry when the show ended! We left laiden with the obligatory 2007 calendars and polaroid pics with the boys and walked back to the hotel, buoyed on by the sight of all that naked flesh! We didn't get back til late, but we definitely slept soundly! x