This has been the adventure of a lifetime. What a journey and what a blast! I've driven 40,691 kilometres (33,808 in Oz and 6,883 in NZ) over 436 days across two countries, stayed on 241 different campsites (203 in Oz and 38 in NZ), owned one gorgeous camper van and rented another, been on planes, buses, trams, trains, ferries and cable cars, broken two cameras, had three GPS (Bruce, Mick & Les), seen approximately 58 different animals/birds, broken down four times, danced on beaches, climbed mountains, been chased by ******* bees, avoided piiiiiiiiiiicniiiiiiiiiiiic taaaaaaaaables, avoided bush fires, got stuck by flooding, been subjected to sliding door hokey cokeys, planted a tree, driven the Australian Grand Prix, watched some awesome sunsets, met loads of lovely people, endured lots of selfish people, made fires, cooked on fires, barbecued sausages, been subjected to unnecessary 'whoop whooping', swam in the sea, been in heaps of swimming pools, learnt what an SLR is, stood next to an alien, found frogs in the bogs, opened a door into a german lady's bottom, been followed by a grogger, been tailgated by aggressive *******, been chemical sprayed, been watched, been subjected to Frank Ifield songs, been to plenty of Psychovilles, seen a woman take a goat to 'club' in a suitcase, chaffed a nipple (Jay trapped hers!), eaten a Captains Feast, eaten a Feral Feast, gutted a fish, upset a woman in the laundry, got drunk, laughed loads, watched poo being raked, thrown balls over and over for a dog and left my knickers in the amenities! ....... On the subject of amenities Jay has been subjected to the following:- stupid conversations, people shouting at each other whilst in shower or on loo, hogging of the basin area to slap on make up, hogging of the hair dryer area when not using hair dryers, shaving legs over the basins, being naked near the basins, excessive bottom noises, excessive nose blowing, spraying of toxic deodorant until she gagged/coughed/choked, slopping whilst in shower, crying whilst on the toilet, masturbation noises, singing out of tune, talc throwing and generally dirty and disgusting behaviour!










THE DREAM

I've achieved my dream. I've had the time of my life and although it is wonderful to be home amongst my family and friends I am a little sad that this trip is over. I miss Australia and I am definitely a little Australia sick. I miss the warmth and brightness of Australia. It's cold, dreary and damp here and part of me longs to be back in the wonderful land of Oz. I am though very excited now about the future and the new beginnings that the end of this adventure presents. Life is an adventure and I am very grateful to have been blessed with the opportunity to have this adventure within an adventure. Life is too short to do what other people and the system expect. I'm not a sheep. I was brave enough to say 'f**k it' and step outside of this system for a while and fulfil my long held dream of driving a camper van all the way around Australia with New Zealand as a (infuriating at times but fun at the same time) bonus. I am so happy that I have done this especially with my most wonderful and beautiful Jay at my side for the last 12 months. It has been amazing to step outside of the rat race and the incessant grind of a system designed to bring us down. Happiness isn't at the end of the road. This adventure was full of sunshine, fun, much hilarity and much happiness. HAPPINESS IS THE ROAD.