Not entirely sure I feel like posting after finding out the Newcastle score, what happened? On second thoughts, I don't need to know, I'm sure it was just like the rest of this bloody season.

**** WARNING: don't read the following while eating ****

Well, I've arrived in Rarotonga - much bigger place, you have to check for traffic before crossing the road! Quite nice to have a choice of bars and restaurants within reasonable walking distance though. Picked up at the airport by a mad old German lady called Ingrid, who has lived here 40 years. There were some muckle big wasps in the apartment, so I pointed them out like Quentin Tarantino 'helping' with the clean-up operation in Pulp Fiction, while this 60-year old German lady went round with a spray saying "Zat voss a big von. It vill bother you no more John". Bizarre.

I decided to treat myself to a big meal out last night after a few nights of self-catering, so I headed into town after sunset. I went to a place called 'Trader Jacks' for food, and had fish broth followed by grilled fish. Fish overload? Maybe... I was absolutely stuffed so I had to go for a walk after. I had gone about 100 yards from the restaurant when I noticed a damp patch on my leg... it turned out that my bottle of insect repellent had leaked. Yup, 50% deet, trickling out of my pocket. It could have looked worse from an 'accident' point of view I guess, but not much worse.

Well, that was the end of the evening as far as going out went. I walked forlornly home, looking in vain for somewhere that would sell me beers to drink in the apartment - Friday night with 3 beers, gah. I was back in the cottage for 8.30 :-(

And not a moment too soon - whether from the fish overload or from the deet spillage I don't know, but unlike the rich man in the bible story, I suddenly developed the ability to pass through the eye of a needle. Nearly as bad the effects of a shark sandwich in Trinidad....

Anyway, I had a VERY early night, and still managed to sleep in. I did wake up with a queasy stomach at 2am and 5.45am, but I can now put that down to pre-match nerves, and the time that Fulham scored respectively. We're doomed - I wonder which Championship grounds I haven't been to before?

Been out to the local market this morning, and had a chicken kebab - kill or cure! And that's me up to date - I'm trying to upload some photos onto Facebook, but it's very slow.

Take care all - my thoughts are with all the Toon fans.