2nd September 2011 6:30pm, Paignton

In Paignton you can go visit the zoological gardens, as I did, but of course Paignton has a lot more to offer. Having stayed in Paignton before, some 10 odd years ago, I had to go back to the 'Leisure 2000' one of the largest amusements in town. Of course, I would've never exchanged money, a 2 pound coin say, to play one of the slot machines, or coin dozers (why should I; I can play that for free on the iPhone). But, frugal as I am, I have kept all the small 1p and 2p coins you get as change when you buy a coke (£1.09) or other stuff. I amassed these coins as I went along in the hope of being able to use them some time in the future. And I did. Technically, I was playing coin dozers with that bronze shrapnel in my pocket, for which I wouldn't have other use anyway; I felt really good! An elderly lady playing at the machine next to me suggested playing the 10p dozers because "the prizes are better". Frankly, I don't give a damn if I win an 'I <3 Fun' keyring or a blue and orange dog with a wiggly head. I don't even mind if I don't win anything at all. I told her that I play this purely for recreational purposes with no intent to a big win, but that I'm nonetheless excited to speak to an expert on the subject. I don't think she got it...

Besides this I've mainly been engaged in conversations. On the trail from Babbacombe to Torquay I talked to a soon-to-be retiree with a pipe. We chatted about the deployment of British troops to Iraq and about Switzerland's best friend Muammar al-Gadhafi. Later on that day, on the Roundham peninsula, I met a woman from the Philippines and her 10 year old son, who had copied the haircut of Mr T from the A-Team. Bizarrely, we landed up talking about sex education and the Bush Administration. She found he had been a capable president with some very good policies. Right then I realised I would have to choose my words carefully. I didn't really like her, to be honest, but I liked her son. He told me he wants to become like Mr T when he's older and he also let me know that he has 11 girlfriends he will not share with anyone. That's the spirit I like; wonderfully crazy! Furthermore, I talked to an Italian waiter from Brindisi about the absolutely perfect coffee ("il caffè divino") and Osama Bin Laden. I have absolutely no idea how we got from the one topic to the other.

As you might know, Paignton is part of a bay with three cities called the 'English Riviera' (I call it the 'Seaside Troika'). The other towns are Torquay and Brixham and they all have distinct features and attract different crowds. Paignton is probably the one that comes closest to what you would call a traditional bucket & spade seaside resort. That means old people and families, pubs and chippies. Definitely no nice cafes or cocktail bars or anything with rattan chairs, really. You do have to go to Torquay for that. Brixham, at the south end of the bay, was and still is a fishing village, or small town, and you can smell that. It's got a nice marina, though. Now Torquay is the place where the party people are supposed to be, although I haven't seen any when I was there. A particular attraction in Torquay is the HiFlyer, a hot-air balloon that goes about 400ft up. However, it won't go up when it's too windy, and that's the reason why it hardly ever goes up. Back in Paignton I realised that the town has one massive design error. There is one building where the town planners screwed up. What kind of off-day must they have had when they decided what to build on the seafront, close to the beach? What did they build at probably one of the best spots in town, overlooking the beach and the sea? A cinema. A huge, windowless concrete building, possibly the ugliest in Paignton, built on such a prime location. Didn't think it through, did you, you idiots! What really enraged me about this was the conversation of an elderly couple I've eavesdropped on in a café. She said to him: "I like the cinema building, you know, the one on the seafront. It's so modern." Modern?! A concrete block from the 70ies, modern?! How old are you, 150? Modern, pah!

The next stage will take me to Plymouth, the largest settlement in Devon and home of the 'Mayflower', the ship of the Pilgrims (not the football club; the actual English Separatists of 1620. Go, look it up in your history book!). Further on to the harbour towns of Looe and Fowey and, most importantly, Polperro. I absolutely have to go there because a guy I met in a restaurant in Broadstairs (you remember?) wrote it down for me on a paper napkin (well, he actually wrote 'PORT PEPARA' and he confused Looe with Bude, the bloody expert!).

So it's Farewell, Paignton; I don't think I will return for a third time.

Keep walking...

Johnniewalker