We're sitting on the Shinkansen (bullet train) on our way from Tokyo to Kyoto with a less than perfect view of Mt.Fuji streaming through the window. It is an absolutely beautiful, perfectly clear day across the entire country but a gang of jerk clouds decided it would be fun to park right at the top of the mountain. I guess they wanted to rain on my parade. Haha...cloud humor. We've been here for two days now and I have a lot to write about (it's the first entry and I'm already falling behind!). I'll do my best to keep this interesting. We had been bracing ourselves for an absolutely miserable two days of travel for the past several weeks. Work all day, then drive through the night, then hop on a plane and kiss land goodbye for nearly 17 hours (plus a layover), then attempt to negotiate an outrageously efficient yet simultaneously enigmatic rail system where we couldn't read or speak a lick of the language. What I'm most shocked to admit is that the flight was downright pleasant. Sure my butt became so numb that I eventually believed a gelatinous blob of mush was attached to my lower back but they fed us FIVE TIMES. And, side note, the booze was FREE! A whiskey and ginger ale with every meal really takes the edge off a long flight. Just sayin'. I was surprised by how quickly the time went by. Even Brittany wasn't as miserable as she usually is on a plane. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that the sun never went down. We took off in the morning and followed the sun around the world, landing in the early afternoon. We immediately walked through customs, had our passports stamped in about two minutes after standing in a line of zero people, and knew we loved Japan before taking our first breath outside the airport. We exchanged our JR rail pass vouchers for the real thing, and quickly found out that these super expensive "go anywhere and see anything" tickets didn't work for the station that was right next to our apartment. I begrudgingly coughed up the $1.50 and we hopped onto our train for the hour ride to Honjoazumabashi. Our Airbnb host made a list of directions with photos from the exit of the station, so it took us about two minutes to get there, drop off our stuff, and head back out. Brittany wanted to stay and sleep but I was loving enough to force her off the bed to walk in the dark and cold. Yes we both looked and felt like undead zombies but I knew she'd thank me later :) The apartment has a fantastic location right next to the Asakusa district, which is home to a major temple site and hundreds if not thousands of shops. Unfortunately for us pretty much everything was closed, but just walking up to the deserted temple courtyard and strolling through the the stall lanes was exciting. There were a few restaurant stalls open (pretty similar to the setup in Morroco) but they said we couldn't eat there. Our best guess is that they only serve food between certain hours (like stupid London) so we kept moving. On the way back to the apartment we found a "sushi-go-round" restaurant which was exactly what we were hoping for. It was a small neighborhood type place where dozens of small sushi plates are made and placed on a carousel that circulates around the room. When you see something you like you pick it up, eat, and wait for the next one. At the end of the feast they count up the plates and charge you for each, based on the color of the plate. They had specially marked clearance sushi plates at 70% off, but even I know better than to start a two-week trip with discount sushi! A local sitting next to me took pity on our stupidity and showed us how to fill our cups with green tea, then the chef looked in horror as we poured soy sauce directly onto the sushi. He quickly pointed out the special sauce plates that we had completely missed. It was all in good fun though, and we stuffed ourselves on fantastic food for less than 20 dollars. I've been very surprised by how little English is spoken here (especially considering how much of it you see on billboards), but the people are always very gracious and tolerant of our perceived mutism (is that a word?). They speak to us in Japanese again and again as we look back at them with a blank, doe-eyed expression. Finally accepting our complete inability to comprehend even the simplest of phrases, they smile, slightly bow, and move on. I am truly regretting that I didn't take the time to learn any of this language! Back at the apartment, Brittany promptly zonked out and I began planning the next day. Before going to sleep I discovered Japan's most startling and greatest innovation: the toilet. Ah the toilets! What back home is a humdrum symbol of a banal bodily function is here a gateway to another world of excitement and spa-like relaxation! It takes about fourteen seconds to go from, "well, this is awfully weird, how do you use this thing?" to "hmm, I guess this isn't so bad" to "this is the greatest thing on the planet, let's get one on Amazon!" I kid you not: a person that hated absolutely everything about Japan would still get a twinkle in his eye when he thought about their toilets. I feel like one paragraph isn't enough to explain this newfound majesty, but I'll spare you all and move on. As Brittany got ready for our first full day in Tokyo, I channel-surfed through dozens of outrageous and absolutely bewildering tv shows. Not one of them was in English, but I simply couldn't turn away. I was confused and entertained at the same time as an array of glittering colors, outrageous sounds and bizarrely costumed hosts swirled around the screen. Eventually, cartoons were interrupted by breaking news of some kind of missile launch. All we can figure is that North Korea did something crazy again. Our first stop of the day took us back to Asakusa. It was a whole different world with all of the stalls open. There were throngs of people but we were surprised that it took several hours before we saw more than a handful of tourists. We stuck out like a sore thumb, which was unexpectedly great! Dozens of stalls peddled hot treats (I fell victim to a terrible tasting rice patty that I thought was some kind of meat) and I've had to accept that we'll need at least one more suitcase for all the souvenirs we'll be taking home. Everything here is just so stinking cool! At the very least I think we'll be "investing" in a beautiful iron tea kettle. At least I can pretend it's practical... We grazed all morning on cherry and green tea cakes and fried octopus balls (as in balls of octopus and breading, get your mind out of the gutter). There was food everywhere: crab, pork rolls, chicken rolls, scallop skewers, squid sticks, and more. Less than fifty feet away, hundreds of stalks of incense burned in front of the now-packed temple, filling the air with a sweet musk that followed us all around. We walked into the temple for a moment, took in the sight of those praying and (literally) throwing money at a huge pot in front of some massive idols, then quietly stepped out. All around the temple were gardens filled with small houses and, you guessed it, idols. I have to admit it made me feel pretty uncomfortable and we didn't linger. It was at this point that I finally felt like we were really in Japan and not just strolling through Epcot. Still in Asakusa, we found a small restaurant with pictures on the menu. That's become a basic requirement for anywhere we eat. We might not know exactly what it is but at least we can point at something that looks good. We sat next to two older women. I laughed a little as they loudly slurped up their noodles, which is actually encouraged here. It goes so against the grain to slurp, but Brittany and I did our best to fit in! The chopsticks thing is really a lot of fun. It can be a bit confusing when you have a huge bowl of soup with lots of broth, slippery noodles, chunks of meat, and just two pointy sticks to eat it with, so I quickly glance around the room to see what everyone else is doing before I dig in. After lunch we made our way to the thoroughly disappointing Imperial Palace. I had forgotten our guidebook so we couldn't appreciate much as we blankly sat outside a guarded gate and wondered what was on the other side. There was a small moat and an interesting building on the corner, so we at least got a neat picture or two. On our way to our next stop of the day we realized that there is absolutely zero trash ANYWHERE. What makes that fact even more outrageous is the maddening difficulty we experience every time we attempt to find a trash can. How is this possible? Black arts of the orient I suppose... After a letdown at the palace we were greeted by an overwhelmingly beautiful structure at the Meiji Shrine. Spellcheck keeps correcting things wrongly so bear with me on the spelling. I couldn't believe how large the grounds were, especially considering the prime location in a city as sprawling as Tokyo. Massive wooden gates met us at the entrance, followed by a long gravel path that wound beneath a canopy of perfectly manicured trees. Tree care seems to be an art form here. We even saw two huge trees planted right next to each other that were then groomed to look like one gigantic tree. The only tell was the foot of space between the two trunks. It was much more fascinating than it sounds :) Inside the shrine courtyard we were fortunate enough to see a Shinto wedding procession, which was short but beautiful. After taking in the shrine we journeyed to Shibuya Crossing, which any male under the age of 30 would recognize from the movie Tokyo Drift. It's the Japanese version of Times Square with a maze-like pedestrian crossing right in the middle. When the little man turns green a mass of thousands scurries across the street in every direction. I stood and watched it happen a few times before Brittany finally asked, "so...are we gonna cross?" A massive sign on a skyscraper down the street beckoned us to a movie theater, right next to another digital billboard advertising "Pure Placenta", a revolutionary facial cream! We love seeing movies in foreign countries so I jumped at the chance. Brittany took some convincing because it had been a long day, but I compromised by not forcing her to see Star Wars. The nearly-all Japanese ticket machine took some time to figure out, but we eventually bought two outrageously overpriced tickets for a late showing of The Martian and then went searching for dinner. A plate of lamb and a few frosty Kirin's later we walked back to the theater, fearing that we'd fall asleep before it started. It's the first time I've been to a multi-level theater where every screen was on a different floor. The 20 dollar tickets let us choose our seats in advance, and the food was cheap enough to (kind of) make up for the huge ticket price. A couple of drinks and a big bowl of popcorn for ten bucks isn't too shabby. I was a little disappointed that there were no weird popcorn flavors (remember ham and cheese popcorn in Hungary?) but the movie previews more than made up for it. Brittany and I looked back and forth between each other and the screen as our brains tried to decipher what we were seeing: an indescribable cartoon that could only make sense while in a drug induced state accompanied by high-pitched shouts of Japanese. Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band has nothing on whoever made this stuff. But hey, this is why we paid forty bucks to see a "new release" that we'd already seen a month ago at home! Fortunately for us the movie played in English with Japanese subtitles. I was really intrigued by how few characters would show up on the screen as people in the movie would have an in-depth conversation. I guess each character means a whole lot more than one word. On the up side it meant that the subtitles weren't distracting at all and by ten minutes in we didn't even notice them anymore. The biggest surprise came when the movie was over. In normal-land (as we see it) the credits start, the lights go on, and everybody gets up to leave. Not in Japan! Here the credits start, the lights stay completely off, and EVERYONE stays perfectly still and quiet in their seats. We were quite confused and waited half way through them, cautiously expecting something amazing to happen, before we gave up and stumbled our way down the aisle. On the way out we saw police cars and fire trucks hopeless attempting to navigate through the crossing as thousands of people swarmed around them. Basically, anyone calling for an ambulance within ten minutes of this place is gonna die, so just know that going in. We've finally got the metro mostly figured out so getting home didn't take all that long. Brittany crashed while I stayed up to figure out today's route, another consequence of absolutely no preparation in advance of this trip. I had thought we could take the train to a lake right next to Mt.Fiji, enjoy the view during lunch and then continue on to Kyoto. Once I actually plotted that course out on the map it turned a 3 hour trip into an 8 hour trip. So no-go on the Fuji thing. I still had hopes of seeing it from the train but, as you know, that didn't pan out so well. Today was mostly spent on the bullet train, so I am happily running out of things to write about. We absolutely loved Tokyo. The people are creepily clean with one notable exception: there is NEVER soap in the bathrooms. I don't mean that they run out of it, I mean that there are not even dispensers. Guys go to the sink, sprinkle water on their hands, run a hand through their hair to dry it off and then head out. For a place where a third of the people are wearing surgical masks to keep the germs away this seemed just a little odd! We've also decided that this is the most law-abiding population of any city we've ever visited. We didn't see one single jay walker, despite standing and waiting at dozens of street crossings. Not one. Everybody just follows the rules, and it has a surprisingly calming effect. I think that if Godzilla showed up unexpectedly, as he has a habit of doing, everyone would line up single file and walk to the nearest emergency station in an orderly fashion. Brittany and I did have an argument today and, as usual, it centered around food and where to get it. I was finally so angry about walking around and looking at restaurant after restaurant without going in that I told her we could go to Japan for all I cared, I just wanted food. I said this to sarcastically emphasize the great distance I was willing to travel to get food as long as she would make up her mind, completely forgetting the minor fact that we were, indeed, actually in Japan. It's hard to stay mad when you hear how stupid you are and the quip diffused a potentially deadly situation as Brittany was about to enter she-bear mode. We got off our train in Kyoto and made the short walk to our next apartment. It's just fine, but the toilet doesn't even have a remote control! The disappointment hit us hard. After briefly settling in I made the decision (against the advice of council) to ride bikes to a shrine and restaurant in downtown Kyoto a mile away. In my mind this town was a rural wonderland of beautiful temples and greenery. It is that, but completely surrounded by a bustling metropolis replete with shopping centers and businesses. This made for a long and horrific bike ride. There are bike lanes but pretty much nobody respects them, which is incredibly strange given the massive popularity of bicycles. To top it off, half way there we entered a zone where we had to get off and push the bikes, completely defeating their purpose. It wasn't pretty but Brittany did her best to resist the urge to rub my ignorance in my face. We found a restaurant on a beautiful and majestically old street where glowing red lanterns and flowing drapes hung from every entrance. We even saw a geisha! I honestly can't imagine anything more beautiful. It wasn't a beauty in the sense that she was an attractive woman, but in that we saw a person that could only be described as a work of art. Her bright green dress reflected the dim light of the lanterns and bells rang as she took each step. What threw me the most was the reaction of the Japanese tourists. They stopped in their tracks, pointed, gasped, and collectively ran to her for pictures. She disappeared quickly, and I spent the rest of the evening hoping to see another. Dinner was pricey but fantastic and very traditional. After sizzling chicken dipped in raw egg we walked to the Yasaka Shrine, which is well over a thousand years old. I only wish I had a camera that could do the place justice! The orange gates, hanging lanterns, and growling statues combine for a memorable experience, especially at night. The bike ride home wasn't quite as bad because there were fewer people out and about, but we will definitely stick to the metro for the rest of the trip. It's only been a few hours but, so far, Kyoto isn't nearly as organized or orderly as Tokyo. We'll see how things go tomorrow; we have a long list of beautiful things to see. Oh, one last thing! We met our first Witnesses today! We thought it was strange that we hadn't seen any in the metro, but learned today that it's illegal for us to be there. Today we saw several standing by carts, and we introduced ourselves. They spoke VERY little English but eventually understood that we were Witnesses too. We didn't take any pictures (don't want to distract from what they're doing) but it always feels good to meet brothers and sisters, especially on the other side of the world.