The Do's and Dont's of Marangu Waterfalls

1. Do rent a Dhala Dhala for 150,000tsh and ont pay anything more. They s***head wanted more money for takin us 5mins up the road

2. Do expect your Dhala dhala driver to play regge music on circular repeat for your whole four hour journey

3. Dont' wear your nurses shoes to trek around waterfalls and up kilimanjaro

4. do make sure you look an absolute clown

5. dont be put off by the rain your on the slopes of kilimanjaro afterall

6. do make sure you book a guide before going and do expect them to have a little girl tag along with them

7. do expect your guide to be absolutley s*** at bargaining for you

8. do expect a half naked guy to randomly jump in the waterfall in front of you

9. ndo expect him to have an erection at the bottom

10. dont be miserable and not get in the waterfall...this is the reason you came here

11. do expect you have worms afterwards that have gotten under your skin and spend the rest of the day imagining you can feel it!

12. dont expect your guide to willingly pay for his and his little pets food

13. do expect them to have fowl mouths and teach you things such as donkey raping s*** eater and c*** jockey.

14. be prepared to have a numb arse and a sore neck from being sqaushed in the dhala dhala

15. do pretend you have climbed kilimanjaro

16. do be prepared to visit the chagger musuem and sit in a hut with a fire going, whereby you feel like you have been smoking for ten years... and get the life scared out of you when you realise your sat in there with a cow that wants to bite you

17. dont use long drops with s*** around the edges

18. dont go the best resturant in marangu... its by a heap of rubbish and has cows eating there and your chicken is raw! BUT DONT EAT IT LIKE ANNIE DID!

19. dont loose your party when you have kindly helped them across the river and they decide to leave you

20. dont listen to the snail story it isnt true.. but do take a photo of someone walking out of the forest to take the piss.... the snail story.... everytime a person died in the village they would be placed in this section of the forest whereby the snails would come and lick it.... and then the person would walk out alive a few hours later.. like it was magic.,.... howevere some idiot decided to kill this snail in the 1980's.!!! its a load of b******S!!

and finally ENJOY YOUR DAY!!