Sawadee Ka from Phuket!

(thats hello by the way...yeah thats right, im cultured now!)

so its been a few days since my last entry, it may be a long one i warn you, so mum you may wanna go to the loo now so you dont have to get up - i dont do advert breaks ya know! :P

I was right by the way. the night boat did emotionally scar me! i every possible way. in fact i may even go as far as saying it violated my very being, im pretty sure a small part of me died that night... if you have seen bridget jones 2 you will remember the thai prison she gets put in...it was like that, except it floated! basically it was a massive room with about a hundred thin dirty mattresses on the floor on which you had to lie and try to sleep. oh and they designate a side of a mattress to you (they are doubles) so you might end up sharing with a complete stranger or spooning a complete stranger by proxy due to space issues - as was the case with me and alice! but on the plus side we did find the whole thing hilarious and even managed to write a top ten hit...to the tune of 3 blind mice...it goes a little something like this,

"where is the boat, where is the boat, i hope that its a big f*** off boat, with lots of champagne and nice comfy beds, and personal dvd players, playing bill and ted!"

it wasnt like that. at all.

more to come.....

sorry about the brief interuption there folks, had a plane to catch, places to go, hotels to stay in, all that jazz - but now im back! so where did i leave off....oh yes...the night boat...urrrgghhhh

SO sunday morning we finally arrived in Phi Phi, and wow it is georgous! i mean seriously nice! and considering i was saying this after a 15 hour horrific and violating journey...thats a REALLY nice place! once we had settled into our new home for the next few days we realised a number of things:

1. there was no aircon in our room...we might melt.

2. there were loads of cats runnning around as opposed to dogs like on the other islands...

3. our laundry was soooo disgusting that we didnt want to give it in for fear of being judged by the thai laundry women - seriously, it was foul.

4. We had towels for bed sheets

5. All of the above pail in comparison to the fact that on that very same evening, we discovered that Toby was infact McLuvin from Superbad!! (and if anyone is confused about this, including Toby, please feel free to enquire with either myself or Alice - explinations are available at a small additonal cost).

Basically, that night we decided we wanted to be really boring and ust watch a movie...a simple task you might think? but no, considering we didnt have a tv and phi phi apparently doesnt have a cinema, we were at the mercy of local knowledge to find us some form of cinematic genius to watch! Enter Paul the dive guy. Our new friend, who happened to be called Paul and was a dive guy in a dive centre (shock i know!) let us in on a secret place called 007 bar which had a room upstairs where you could drink, eat and watch movies - perfection in a bottle! however after handing us our evening plan on a silver platter he then tried to sell us a diving course...NO MEANS NO PAUL! and the matter was closed :P so yes, that evening we watched superbad (hence the discovery regarding our dear friend toby) and drank appletini's - they are immense and i recommend them to everyone.

Monday was pretty chilled really, we actually got up in time for a buffet breakfast which is always a good start to the day! and by the way, micheal mcintyre was sooo right about buffets in hotels! just for anyone who was wondering... anyway, after that we went shopping (shock) and lounged by the pool (amazing i know!) and to be honest, that was about it! the evening was a pretty early one since Alice wasnt feeling great and apart from a drunk man attempting to gain entry into our room about 4 times (bless him, he was rather sloshed) it was a fairly uneventful evening!

Tuesday brought the welcome introduction of African Heat Fever - but in Thailand! it was about 40 degrees and we did get a little silly i must admit...such silliness may have included shouting the word TIT rather loudly over and over again everytime we did something silly - by the way TIT actually stands for This Is Thailand (kind of like TIA but you know, in thailand....it makes sense when its 40 degrees!) the day itself was immensly chilled, it consisted of various fruit smoothies and 2 sunloungers by the pool! oh and just a little note, when you discvover that someone has cloned your debit card and stolen 1000 pounds from you whilst your dear mother assumed you were online shopping at BHS whilst away in thailand, it really helps to be lazing around a beach in phi phi - definitly takes the edge off the problem! :P

asides from that slight hitch to the financial plan, it was an impecibly nice day and since it was our last night, we decided to party! i mean, first we watched titanic at 007 bar (which by the way i would totally survive due to my knowledge of physics and the fact that im no so selfish as to use an ENTRE mirror to float on and save myself when Jack is literally right there thinking 'get your fat ass over to the other side and ill live too!' - Alice would not survive. She wouldnt even make it into the water) then we watched i love you man at 007 bar (amazing film by the way!) all acompanied by appletini's of course!

And so that brings me to today, we left for phuket in the morning, it took us an ungodly amount of time to get here, but here we are...me and alice on the road again in sunny phuket! it may be an ugly ass city with a beach more overcrowded than paris hiltons pants but it is still sunny and englands not so HAHAHA! So far today we got to club bamboo and got upgraded straight away which is always a good sign :) and then basically got the lay of the land by going for a good old fashioned walk around the city! finishing with a traditional, if slightly strange and alarming, fish foot spa! where we pay strangers for the privilage of putting our feet into a tank of fish for them to nibble and chew on to their hearts desires for around 20 minutes! Alice couldnt stop laughing i mihgt add and kicking the fish away onto my feet...kind of defeats the point i thought! oh and also, should i be worried that the fish didnt manage to get all the horrible skin of my feet? i mean seriously, they look worse than before now with bits hanging of them...they cant have been that bad?! i mean yeah i walked round most of africa in bare feet, and thailand for that matter but still!

So, i will update again in a few days when maybe my feet have recovered slightly!

xxx