THE GREAT VIETNAMESE COOK-OFF

DAY 52: Hoi An

We checked out of our hotel and were disappointed to leave. The staff at Nhi Nhi Hotel in Hoi An are superb. We were made to feel very welcome, they can and will do anything for you and it was a real pleasure staying there. And they, like all other locals, call me Nah Tan, which is quite funny. We then went for our final fitting (all good and very happy by the way) before heading to our Vietnamese cooking class.

There are many classes available in Vietnam, but we'd heard good things about the Red Bridge one, so we booked for half a day course (four hours). Our cooking class began with a tour of the local market, being introduced to the many fruits, vegetables, meat and fish, and herbs and spices on offer. We tried a custard apple, and whilst nice and sweet, too fiddly to eat for me. Our guide told us what herbs we could eat or not, some of which; 'If you eat, it kill you. You die from it'.

We then had to catch a boat down the river to the cooking school which is set in beautiful secluded grounds on an islet from the river. We watched quite a few dishes being cooked, but the first one we tried was spring rolls with rice paper - we had to make the rice paper ourselves over a pan of boiling water, spreading the rice batter on a piece of cotton over the pan. Immediately I cocked mine up. So the chef put another one on for me whilst everyone else was stuffing theirs. The chef said I'm what they call in Vietnam a 'slow learner'. Anyway, it tasted nice, but probably more to do with the prepared filling they'd made.

Next up was Hoi An pancake - a crispy pancake rolled in rice paper (this time already made thankfully). Albeit not a round pancake, I redeemed myself a little by tossing it perfectly which got a round of applause. However, it is in the presentation and Jen would have got a Michelin Star for hers. It looked superb.

Our last dish was a Vietnamese Eggplant Clay Pot. We chopped all the ingredients up and put them in one by one, then as that was simmering away we had to try our hand at food art - a tomato skin rose and a cucumber leaf. Jen's and Kelly's roses were perfect, as was Kel's cucumber leaf. Mine wasn't a bad effort, although I did have three goes at it and got to use the chef's knife which made loads of difference. The chef wants my iPhone so he was being nice to me. I didn't even attempt the rose.

Class over, we then sat down to my favourite part of the day - lunch. The clay pot was incredible. So tasty. I think it included the following; Asian eggplant (long, thin aubergine), tomato, spring onion, garlic, lemon grass, tamarind, sugar, chilli, water, salt and pepper. I think! We also sampled some of the other dishes that were made.

When we caught our boat back, the skipper let me drive for a bit, mainly so he could have a fag break. It was such a makeshift boat. The accelerator was a rectangular wooden k*** with some fishing line wrapped around it. To go faster, you just turn the knob. After a while I sensed he might want some money for me doing his job, so I returned power to him.

To reflect, we had a coffee on the riverside and chatted about how much we loved Hoi An. Three days is enough, but it is a lovely, lovely place filled with character, gastro delight and enough tailors to make clothes for an entire country.

We then returned to the hotel to catch our epic overnight sleeper bus to Nah Trang. When it turned up at about 6.15pm, it was busy and looked crowded but this thing is unreal. It's a double decker sized coach with bunk beds down both sides and in the middle. There must be forty or so beds on board. I'm writing this as we bounce down the road and I'm not sure there will be much sleep to be had tonight. It is fairly comfortable in the bed, but the ride is a bit bumpy and progressively getting worse, sometimes reminding me of our bus rides in Kenya. And one of the drivers is chain smoking for fun so it's nice and smoggy.

It didn't look like we were going to get to stop for food, luckily we'd grabbed some free cakes at the hotel, but we've just stopped at this dodgy looking place for a break at 10.30pm, selling lizards, snakes, even sea horses, in jars. Feeling hungry, but not suicidal, we played it safe and opted for Pringles and some Oreo substitutes. Our worst 'meal' yet. To be continued...