DAY 1 and 2 - 15/16 SEPT 2010 - MAINLY FLYING

So after saying our very tearful goodbyes at the airport, and delaying the final farewell as much as possible by taking a detour to some Bagel place in the airport, we finally headed through security, with the sounds of sobbing ringing in our ears. The adventure got off to a bit of a false start as we were delayed by 90 minutes due to 'reasons pretty much unknown' (this is actually pretty much what the Ozzy pilot said). We softened the anguish with a pint in a Heathrow 'spoons whilst watching the footy until we were eventally called to board.

It's a bit odd flying with an Australian airline, the announcements all seem so much more chilled out and informal, which did wonders for Janine's fear of flying. 'Sorry about the delay folks, not quite sure why we had to keep ya waitin around for so long, but don't worry, we'll catch some decent winds on our way over to Bangkok so flight time should be around 10 hours'. 'Catch some decent winds' brilliant, like catching some decent surf'. Flight was standard, small meal, small space, eat, sleep, get cranky etc.

We landed about 4pm local time and made our way through the airport, last to pick up our bags as Janine had to make a toilet stop, shocker, this made me even crankier.

We decided to share a cab into the city with a couple of fellow 'packers and eventually found ourselves deep amongst the hustle and bustle that is Khao San Road. After dropping our stuff off at the hotel we headed straight out (there might have been a little sleep involved first, in fact there were quite a few 'little sleeps' whilst in Bangkok - must have been the jet-lag as we're normally so hardcore as you all know). It's difficult to describe just how busy Khao San is, there isnt a inch of pavement that isnt taken up by a food stall, or a market stall or bar or man attempting to get you on his tuk-tuk, or in his bar, or in a cab, or drunk on buckets or into a Ping-Pong show. Incidently, they do the latter by shouting 'ping-pong' in your face, making a weird noise and waving a 'menu' that says things like 'open bottle' and 'chopsticks', horrific.

We orientated ourselves, grabbed some Pad Thai from a small market stall, grabbed a drink then decided to get an early night and recharge.

DAY 3 - 17 SEPT 2010 - TUK-TUKS, WAT'S AND PAT-PONG

After a broken nights sleeep - still due to 'jet-lag' and drunken noisy irish people we embarked on our first full day in Bangkok. We decided to head to the Grand Palace with no map in hand. Sean led us to the river as that would help us find the Palace. Forty minutes later we were still walking around Bangkok with no river in sight! Looking lost, an 'innocent' local approached us and pointed us in the direction of the Palace aswell as some smaller Temples and Buddhas. (Note: When in Bangkok - nobody is an innocent local, there will always be a mention of money somewhere in the conversation!). He sent us in the direction of the Grand Palace right into the hands of another man who just so happened to have a map and appear very helpful! According to him it was a special holy day and the Palace wasn't open until 1pm! All of a sudden local man number 1 reappeared and joined in the conversation.

To cut a long story short No.2 was going to show us some other sights and bring us back 90 mins later when the Palace 'reopened'. So after selling us on a short tour of some local sights, all for the bargain price of 30 Baht, we jumped on the back of his Tuk-Tuk. 'Lucky Buddha, then Reclining Buddha, then Tourist Information then Thai Clothing factory then back to Grand Palace for 1pm'. Hold on, what was that one near the end? And so we witnessed first-hand the classic 'shops for gasoline' racket that the tuk-tuk drivers employ. Basically, he takes us to see the sights and in exchange we have to spend 5 or 10 minutes in a local Thai tailors being sold a suit so that he can get some gasoline money. To be fair it's not a bad deal, and there isnt much of a hard-sell, in fact we had the honour of being taken to the very same Thai tailer as frequented by the all-round entertainer and big-hair man, Celebrity Big Brother's very own Leo Sayer! Apparently him and German football legend and 'flob-in-hair' man Rudi Voller were regulars, as evidenced by pictures of them with the owner.

So just as we were heading back to the Grand Palace we got to experience the monsoon rains! Of course we were umbrella-less and headed for cover quickly whilst bartering hard for a poncho. They eventually gave in but we were still ripped off, paying 100 Baht for two! Oh well, when it's raining like it's the end of the world they had the upper hand. Ponchos on we were ready to hit the Grand Palace, Sean's knees were offensive and he had to don some attractive fishermans pants. Having said that neither of us exactly looked attractive in these massive ponchos. We paid the ridiculous sum of 350B each and wandered around the Palace as the rain continued and the temples began to flood. In the end Sean decide to go play in the puddles which came almost to his knees. That was probably what he enjoyed most about the whole Palace! the Temple of the Emerald Buddha was pretty amazing, but in comparison to the Chinese Temples we weren't overly impressed with the rest! It had to be done though! Sean still insists I owe him 350B but I think he more than makes up for it with his food consumption.

We finished at the Grand Palace and had a quick peek at the huge reclining Buddha at Wat-Po and then headed back to the hotel...guess what came next, yep - another nap! Still blaming the jet-lag.

That night we decided to head over to Silom, the location of Pat-Pong 1 and 2 and the world famous ping-pong shows. The area has gained a reputation as a hot-spot for western men of a certain age to sample the local delights, whether male, female or indiscernible. I wish I could say that the stereotypes are innacurate, but they aren't. We weren't entirely sure what to expect, but the area is basically a collection of super-seedy strip clubs, filled with 50+ men groping at local girls wearing nothing but a bikini and a number. To be fair, many of the women can smell a sugar-daddy and a passport West and so it It was truly grab-a-grandad. As long as everyone is happy eh! We decided to give the shows a miss and grab a drink in a local bar, served in true Pat-Pong style by a fella that looked as if he'd just decided yesterday that he'd like to be a lady and enforced this fact by buying some heels and slapping on some lippy, fabulous!

DAY 4 - 18 SEPT 2010 - FLOATING MARKET, THAI MASSAGE AND SIAM SQ

Saturday started early as we had to be up at stupid o'clock to get on a mini-bus to the Floating Market. About an hour and 45 outside Bangkok, the Floating Markets of Damnoen Saduak were dug out by Chinese immigrants about 70 years ago (little bit of history for ya folks). And they consist of a number of canals surrounded by market stalls and full of traders in boats. It has a very Eastern feel to it and the sights, smells and noises are truly memorable. Even if all we bought was some fruit, we bartered hard. FYI - If you ever get the chance to eat a fruit called the Mangosteen then do it, it's weird but soooo sweet.

We then went back to the hotel and slept. Again.

After the busy shedule of sitting in boats and sleeping we felt we deserved to treat ourselves to a Thai massage. There are parlours all over the place around Khao San (actual massage parlours, not Wayne Rooney massage parlours) offering all sorts of treatments for next to nothing. We each paid 100B for half an hour of being beaten up by a little Thai woman (Janine) and a little Thai man (Sean), I maintain that it had to be a man doing mine as no woman could tame my wild muscles, Janine just thought it was funny as she looked over to see me with my head resting between the little Thai dudes legs. Nevertheless it was an interesting experience and we both felt the benefit afterwards.

For our final night in Bangkok we decided to head over to Siam Square, a more modern, Westernised part of the city and a complete contrast to Khao San. We made our way to the famous MBK shopping centre (roughly the same size as Belgium) and randomly stumbled upon an open-air gig by some Thai band. As neither of us are particularly au-fait with the Thai music scene we had no idea who they were, but the locals seemed to love them. Everything was closed early so we headed back to the hotel, had a bucket as a night-cap, got conned out of 20B by losing a thumb-war to an 8-year-old who thought Janine was pregnant (admittedly I was rubbing her bloated belly, but still hilarious) and went to bed.

DAY 5 - 19 SEPT 2010 - TRAINS AND PIGEON POO

Not a massive amount to report really, we caught a taxi to Thon Buri station for the 3 hour train ride East to Kanchanaburi. Whilst waiting for the train, Janine got shat on by a pigeon which obviously I found not at all funny, in contrast to the locals who laughed at the silly little blonde western girl who sat under all the pigeons. We also got chatting to a local by the name of 'Mr Chiang', a native of Koh Phangan, over in Bangkok for university who offered us a space on his fishing boat when we visit his island and obviously asked us for some money in exchange for some Thai translations we asked for.

We arrived in Kanchanaburi, a little town on the Kwai river amongst the hills and managed to find a room on the river with some truly amazing views. We got chatting to the couple in the room next to us who coincidently were on the same flight as us out of Heathrow and both came to the conclusion that we enjoyed Bangkok but weren't overly impressed. Although it's something that must be experienced, Thailands capital city, with its hustle and bustle and 'in-your-face' attitude was very different to the place we now found ourselves in. We ended the day by catching the Man-U v Liverpool game and sampling 10B whiskey and coke's and Thai Baileys.

DAY 6 - 20 SEPT 2010 - THE BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI

Kanchanaburi is most famous for the infamous bridge built by Allied PoW's in WW2. Painted black against the lush green of the Thai hills, the bridge is an amazing sight, with a heavy history. We made our way along it on foot, which is a little scary given that there is a sheer drop to the river below on either side of the tracks. Janine refused to move off the track for anyone coming the other way, especially after we spotted a crocodile in the waters. We spent an hour or so in the WW2 museum, well worth the 40B entrance fee although it could do with some upkeep and then headed into town to check on the bus prices out of town. On our way back we stopped at the allied cemetery,a truly somber experience.

And so here we are, in an internet cafe writing this. Hopefully heading to the Erawan National Park and Tiger Temple tomorrow if we can barter a good deal!

Stay classy and love to all,

Janine and Sean