So, as you can see I'm still playing some catch-up and hopefully by the end of today I'll have all the things on the site that I want…..but we'll see.So let's begin with how I ended up in Kuala Lumpur, a city I was never meant to visit, in a country I was never meant to enter.After we left Koh Phangnan, we settled back on Koh Samui for a few days.Not much to report on but it was the first time I'd seen the Sun since being on the islands, so we spent a few hours lapping it up on the beach.The others had managed to get two full days on sunshine whilst I was in hospital, so wanted to make the most of the opportunity.On my last evening with the group, I got to choose the restaurant and naturally I opted for the glorious seafood restaurant we'd been to prior Full Moon.And with little thought or imagination, promptly ordered the same as before……'50g shark steak with onion and garlic please.'It had been some of the best food I'd eaten whilst being away so of course I'd have it on my last night.Afterwards we headed to our usual haunt on Koh Samui, the rooftop pool bar, got the drinks flowing (bottles (750ml) of rum at 3 pound a pop) and played some pool, before heading to the club at the bottom of the roadOne by one the girls faded away to bed, until it Colin, Luke, myself and Hayley left………one of the girls had stayed to brave to the night. So the four of us stayed and partied the night away until about 5.30am.There was a group of about five local kids, all within the age range of about 5-10 (hard to tell anyone's age out here, especially young kids and women) darting in and out of the bar, trying to sell beaded necklaces.I hate buying things off street kids, they don't see the cash and it does nothing but endorse what they're doing…..thus continuing the cycle for a little longer.Something I was told by Dev when in India.So I gathered them up and took them McDonalds to buy them a cheeseburger each.The staff in McyD's didn't seem too happy with me but the kids loved it, clapping their hands and bouncing around until they each had their burger in firm grasp.It may have been down to the booze, or the feeling of self-righteousness but seeing those kids so happy gave me a cracking feeling inside.And I've always had a soft spot for smiling young'uns.So it doesn't really matter why I did it, the important things was they were happy and thus, so was I.The next morning I had to catch my bus heading to Singapore at 7.30am.Well thank Christ I was sharing a room with Mark.I slept straight through my alarm, comatosed from the night prior (ending two hours before I had to be on the bus) but Mark awoke at 7.10am, realized I was till there and dragged me out of the room and to the bus.Thanks a lot mate, I owe a drink for that!The bus was waiting and the driver looked anything but happy but I was there (and that was all I was bothered about), stumbled aboard and fell into my seat.Looking like death, red-eyed and stinking of booze and sweat I drifted into my coma.I awoke to the rhythmic bouncing of Thailand's pot-holed stricken roads and 'carpet mouth' had crept in, I realized I'd forgotten to buy water, so hunted through my bag for a mint. . . . .anything to freshen my mouth a tad.Lo and behold I had a 1.5l bottle of water and a full pack of Oreo's in there.Still today, I don't know where they cam from and can only presume that Mark dragged me to a shop on the way to the bus. . . . . . the man's a legend!I tucked into the cookies and gulped back the luke warm water, a nutritious breakfast/lunch I think you'll agree!It then hit me, what was I doing in a cramp, sweaty min-bus?I was supposed to be in a 'VIP Bus'; fully reclining seats, plenty of room, air-conditioning and a TV.I checked my ticket…..'VIP Bus to Singapore', 's*** I'm on the wrong bus!'I asked the driver and he assured me we were heading to Singapore, a sigh of relief swept over me as did the realisation that this was going to be a very sweaty and uncomfortable 27hr trip.We took a corner and ground to a halt, ahead was a 1.5mile traffic jam.Why did I choose the window seat?!The sun was beating through the windows, no air was being circulated, I looked and felt like a drowned rat……hello hangover.I remember the days when we used to knock back cider at Alderholt Rec., fall down battered on Mickey's floor and get up early for our footy match.Where had those days gone, I thought things are supposed to get easier with age, how can something make you feel so good at one moment and so terrible the next day?We came to the cause of the accident, a nasty smash between a moped and articulated lorry.You can guess who won that bout.Well then I had to fight hard not to throw last night's dinner into the back of the drivers head!We ground to a halt again and on the road, 5m away from where I sat, was the body of the moped driver.His head was flat to the road and so was part of his stomach, obvious tracks from the lorry's tyres, blood was everywhere and in a pile between his legs lay his guts and intestines.We were stuck in the jam for five minutes, side-by-side with this mangled corpse.Well, you know how it is.It's like being a kid and seeing your first bit of road kill…….you can't help but stare!And so I did, mouth hanging open, eyes wide open, just staring at the first dead body I've ever seen.He looked rather like one of those stuffed animals hanging from the ceiling, that the Spanish and South Americans beat with sticks until sweats fall out……a piñata I think.But that's how it looked, a pile of mangled mess, an enticingly stomach churning view.We eventually got going again ad thankfully due to the Ipod, my book, sleep and the occasional water stop…….I made it to Singapore.Things were about to get difficult and a little dramatic.Upon arrival, I checked into the 7th Storey Guesthouse.And ideal place to stay; cheap (fro Singapore) and centrally located to the Indian Embassy and buses to Changi Airport for my flight the following evening.Not that I'd need to use those buses of course!After a quick shower, I darted across to the embassy to sort my Visa for India.I'd been assured by the embassy in Bangkok that it could be processed within 24hrs, they called the embassy in Singapore to confirm this and I was satisfied it would be ready in time for my flight the following evening.So I got to the embassy, in Singapore, filled out the application for and handed it to the lady at the desk.'Thank you sah, your visa will be ready for collection in five days time'.What, she can't be serious, I fly tomorrow evening!'But I was assured by the embassy in Bangkok it'd take 24hrs, they phoned you to confirm and I'm supposed to fly tomorrow evening?!''I'm sorry sah but it will take five days' was the calm answer I received, she could see by my eyes that I was about to snap.I couldn't afford to live in Singapore for a week; it's the same prices as home…..a cleaner refurbished London minus the chavs.So up I got, span on my heels and off to STA I went, 'Don't worry about it!' I snapped.It wasn't her fault and neither was it her problem but how I can be assured it'll take 24hrs one week and the next week it turns out that in fact it will take five times that?So I flung over to STA Travel, fortunately just across the park form where I was staying and thus, close to the Indian Embassy also.I was greeted by (probably) the most helpful STA agent I've ever met, why couldn't they all be this way?He bent over backwards to help me and gave me all the advice he could.Firstly he phoned Singapore Airlines and changed my flight to Kolkata for the following week.Something I've been told many times before 'we're not allowed to do' but he seemed happy to be able to help and empathised for my situation.He told me that due to it taking a week to process my Visa, it would be better for me to head over to Kuala Lumpur; if for now other reason it's an awfully lot cheaper than Singapore.There was an Indian Visa Office in the city but because Deepawali was that week, another day may have to be added to the processing time (three in fact when you take into consideration the weekend).Aaah yes, Deepawali, the festival of lights and colour that I loved when I was Pune and one I really wanted to witness in Agra this time around.So he booked my bus to Kuala Lumpur (from here on referred to as KL) and I thanked him sincerely for all he'd done to help.All STA agents should look to this gent as a benchmark for customer service but alas they don't; 'we take your money and ignore you' seems to be the official STA Travel motto.Bitter………me?!So I visited the food market, tucked into three dishes and got through them like they we no more than a Polo mint.I needed more, so I sat down and ate my annoyances away with a cracking plate of 15 sticks of satay.I wanted to try and hunt down the hospital where Mum was born but my head felt heavy and my lazy eye had come out to play; a clear sign I'm either drunk or in desperate need of sleep.Unfortunately, this time it happened to be the latter.