Hello to you my a English friends what what what!

It is me, Borat. I back. You like! I have had misfortune of a having been unable to talk with you on the board of a messages. But you must a let me tell of explaination. I have been set off on adventure, it nice! I travel to the Perth in United States of Australia. We not have the good transport in a Khazakstan, it take very very long! Many months I travel to the Perth, I use the camel, the push bike and piggy-the-back ride on a gypsy. This is a first class treatment, you will be jealous! But not worry, it is because I am second most famous person in my country. It is after the Davidros, he is most beautifull smelling cattle in the country, he get all the women, waaa waa woo waaaw! He kinky cow!

I am a now in the Perth and I meet my English friends the Mag and a Hayleys! They are like two little travelling monkeys in a the circus. We have many happy times! We have traditional Aussie BBQ, where we eat the rat and a the possom. I find them on the road, I am like a real Australian Bruce. We joke and call me the Crocodile of a Dundee and I wear a the leather trouser and a little homosexual waistcoat just like in movie! It fit nice!

We visit beach for surf. I not like this day, i am taken by Aussie man of law and put in captivity. They not like my green thong beach clothes. it is not to worry, i had nice Aussie gentleman in my cage, he call me his a b**** and tell me he will a put his shrimp in my barbie! I sad coz I never get to see a the shrimp, the Mag and a Hayleys inform me of extra large campaign in my country to free the Khazak 1! I am the released!

We practice the kangaroo jumps. I am a the best, but please, we not mention to the Mag, he thinks he is little bouncing king. I not like. We drink traditional Aussie amber-the-nectar beer. I go a crazy. I show all pub my kangaroo jumps with the Mag in my pants like a Joey Baby in pouch! We laugh like gentleman, before I awake on floor of street.

I have special relationship with a the Abbos. They are crazy people who live off the car petrol, I join them for night in a the bush. We pull faces and smash rocks on the floor. They love to watch me do traditional Khazak dance, while they throw a the s*** at my hair. Crazy times! I think they like me!

We make sail for tiny island in ocean. It is just like a home, they have no automobiles, so we like to ride a the push-bike. We drink a traditional box of goon. It nice. We go a crazy on island and use push-bike to get the little Quokka animals with their tails. The Mag he kill seven. He like a mental! In morning I feel like I been s*** from out of rat's anus, too much of a the goon!

You will be pleased to understand that the Mag and a Hayleys are not ill or have any disfigurements to report on the web world wide. They are still like a little hansel and a gretel, but no house with ginger witch. They hold a hands whenever road cross. You must have nothing to worry about!

They leave me soon, I will cry like little gypsy girl, but it is not all sad and tears. They have provided me with cures for dirty jews I can now give to mama for the neighbours! Happy times, I like you!

Borat