Here is THE NEWS from Huaraz, Peru

Tour of ancient city of Chavin conducted almost entirely in Spanish. No meaningful facts obtained by non-native Spanish speakers.

Classifieds: Aspiring rapist hailing from Nebraska requires trekking buddy for world famous 4 day hike. Corners distressed blonde gringa in Huaraz supermarket tinned foodstuffs aisle. "C'mon I got my own tent and everything".

Group of mixed nationals on organised trek fails to gel resulting in 3 emotionally and physically excruciating dinner sessions. Man consequently pretends to find instructions on box of matches interesting for over 20 minutes.

2 Spanish lesbians from Basque region "badly brought up, disagreeable, just terrible" notes fellow member of team.

Look, one of our guides is setting up a weird looking tent away from the rest. Do you think it's the outhouse lavatory, or, I'm not sure, it might be his house?

Company-provided equipment (tent, sleeping bags) found to be sub-standard resulting in cold despair on rainy night 2. Also smells a bit like wee.

Huaraz area weather latest: Rain, damp.

Man wearing every item of clothing he owns. Still cold.

Seriously though, is that a toilet tent the mule guy is setting up, or is that one of the staff's sleeping tent? Debate rages.

Donkey vs. Cow latest: Stand-off continues.

"I don't mind the trekking, it's the camping bit I don't like" exclaims South African member of team

Donkey driver outrage: personal tent mistaken for long drop lavatory.

5 hour up-hill climb in Parque National Huascaran rewarded by staggering and unparalleled views of snow capped mountain ranges and aquamarine blue lagoons.

History repeats itself. Englishman beaten to summit by Norwegian team. "Obviously I'll get over it. But I may be some time..."

World first: Homemade Richmond Fontaine t-shirt completes celebrated 4 day Santa Cruz trek.