Started the trip as we mean to go on and got invited to a party in Rio before we even got off the plane. Pretty sure overfriendly Pau was watching us sleep.
Arrived in Rio to an amazing sunset and found our transfer to El Misti Copacabana. Dumped our stuff and headed straight to a bar on the beach where we definitely got drunk off two caipirihnas, must have been the heat.. or the beautiful man playing guitar at the bar. Soaked up the alcohol with lush seafood salad and Portuguese pizza. Budget going well!
Stayed the night in our 18 bed dorm, the smell in that room in the morning left something to be desired.

First day out we did the standard tourist trip to Corcavado to see the Big Jesus. It was surrounded by cloud on the way up! But the clouds cleared and the view was incredible.. the Christ was a little underwhelming, that Disney film with the parrot definitely gave us false expectations!
Got the bus back to town, great navigational skills meant we got off about 10 blocks early but we had a nice stroll down Copacabana beach, never seen so many bum cheeks even the joggers run in thongs.
Had salad lunch at a cute Brazilian cafe, then walked to Ipanema beach to watch the sunset but ended up watching the lifeguards and surfers with a bit more interest instead.
Slightly guilty of objectifying the beautiful men even though we spent the whole day complaining about them doing it to us.
Met Alec the "model" on the walk back, he was American so everything was AWESOME. Not convinced he was actually a model especially when the locals shout "Jesus Christ" because of how pale he was, couldn't help but think he needed a spray tan, lucky we're not that pasty.
Managed to lose the "model" and went in search of a restaurant from the guide book. They were all super expensive but we found a cool tapas bar instead that enticed us in with happy hour caipirihnas. The beautiful French waiter made us swoon, it was definitely like girl porn listening to him describe the tapas food. We spent the whole meal trying to decide whether he was more like a rugged Ryan Gosling or the hot guy from Vicky Christina Barcelona.
We went out that night with some British girls from the hostel who were on their gap yah finding themselves. What they did find was a hunky student on the metro who invited us to a street party in Gavea. The street party was crazy, full of Brazilian students who couldn't understand how we were there but welcomed us with lots of beer. We met a gay French Canadian and his friend Paulo and Sergio who took us to a club in Ipanema in their bullet proof car, safety first kids.

Second day out we avoided the Lonely Planet guide and went off the beaten track to Santa Teresa even after the armed security guards warded us off. We saw the Escardras first, 200 tiled steps created by a Chilean artist who honestly just seems a bit mental. Then we walked up the hill to the village, joined by an Australian girl who'd been living and working in the favelas. We got a glimpse of real Rio life, incredible views of the hillside favelas, and learnt that Rio isn't as dangerous as everyone says as long as you're not an idiot. The people were friendly and the neighbourhood was beautiful.
We got the local bus down through Lapa and got off in Centro. Decided to splash out and had a meat feast in Centro square looking out onto the beautiful old colonial buildings, the opera house and a Brazilian book fair which even stocked fifty shades of grey. Had a huge platter of every meat and sides of every carb possible - enough food for 3 days! Wandered further into Centro afterwards watching street performers and people watch from a juice bar. Best was a muscley roller blader dancing on the spot to black eyed peas. Were going to head further into downtown but a squad of police cars sped past with sirens on and batons out so thought it best to head in the opposite direction.
Got a cab to the cable car that goes up Sugar Loaf mountain, bit pricey but the views were worth it. Went up in daylight saw the sunset and came down in the dark so saw the best of everything. Even the security guards were hunky, one looked like he'd stepped straight out of Miami Vice. Phoebe went a bit delusional and started to think the bronze statues were talking to her so we thought it best to head back to Copacabana.
These hips don't lie so we took to the streets of Lapa to samba with the gap yah freshers, some British lads and some Argentinean surfers from the hostel. Gringo what? After tequila under the Lapa arches and some dangerous blue cocktails we headed to Loca, the local samba club. What we imagined to be a Brazilian Oceana was actually a huge warehouse with a live band, caiprinhas on tap and plenty of locals to teach us how to samba. Even pesky Peruvian Ronaldo wanted a dance - he'd never met a girl with real blonde hair before (still hasn't). We'd been warned the locals would all want to kiss kiss but felt pretty safe. Maybe we just didn't have the booties and moves they're used to. Just avoid the Lapa prostitutes showing their wares on the roadside.

Managed to find our way to Paraty the next morning, despite feeling worse for wear and slept off the night before on a five hour bus journey with pretty coastal views.