Teeming with excitement, we begin our holiday with the prompt and courteous service of our designated taxi driver Andy George. Andy, whom not only collected us from our doorsteps, loaded our luggage and pointed out significant landmarks en route to the airport. He duly noted that the speed on Bell st had decreased by 10km/hr to 60km, which is ideally suited to his Sunday driving philosophy. On arrival at the airport, Tania began to consider the possibility that her suitcase may be slightly overweight, which upon weighing, confirmed her suspicions at a whopping 23 kilos. Tania openly admitted to her slight misjudgement in packing approximately 7 pairs of shoes for a 9 day trip, and arranged a transfer of shoes to my suitcase in the middle of the check in queue.

Once checked in and ready to board the flight, Tania attempted to educate me on "Contemporary intergration" ie. pushing in, to queue for boarding. The notion of "Contemporary integration" is one that stresses me out, and I required encouragement and prompting to complete in a timely and effective manner.

Once on board, we came across an Asian man suspiciously standing outside of toilet, blocking the ailse, however not responsive to questions regarding his presence there. The crossword which we completed on the plane was a great accomplishment, particularly with the new rule that if a word did not affect other words, we could essentially put whatever we wanted ie. Racooneer for a storyteller. We considered the possibility that the odour of the lady in front of us on the plane distracted us from our full potential as far as crosswords were concerned, however we cannot rule out that potentially Tania's QV deoderant was not meeting her perspiration needs.

The transfer from Cairns to Port Douglas was a laborious one, with the total travel time for the day edging towards the 7 hour mark. We felt nauseas in the transfer coach, exacerbated by high maintanace melbournians in front of us who have visited palm cove for ten consecutive years. We ate a protein bar en route to the hotel to give us sustanance for the 1 hour and a half long journey.

Upon arriving to the beautiful QT resort, we were greeted by potentially the biggest bimbo of Port Douglas. Who explained the route to our room as if we were venturing out on to the Kokoda trail. The Bimbo essentially told us nothing of benefit with Tania requiring to prompt her about all the basic details one would expect at check in. After a complimentary cocktail each and ordering most of the fried options on the menu, we headed back to the room for an early night, only to discover it is conveniently located on the first floor between a bin and the fire escape. We go to bed early in anticipation of waking up to see the view from our hotel room. I say we look on to the beach, Tania said with our luck it looks on to the freeway. I just hope I'm right!