GOOOD MMawning Vietnam! -32000dong=1GBP

Arriving across the border, into Lao Cai we saught the first bus out of there in the direction of Sapa, 40km south. Set in the great valleys of northern Vietnam, i think it shared many similarities with kathmandu profoundly the tourist activity. Sapa is a very quaint little hill town and the people are charming and even though there is an abundance of touts their all very pleasant and ofcourse english speaking. There are once again many minority villages set way up high on the peaks or clustered around rivers and rice paddies at the base of their valleys which are scenically spectacular! these sharing no similarites in appearance to the villages i have attended in the past. the homes of these people were made from wood and straw, some with only 3 walls and some with their own tropical garden sewn with corn and bannanas, along with various other fruit and veg. The people that live there, well the women atleast, wear only thier people's fashion. Dressed in authentic, brightly coloured garments.beautifu.l i discovered that they sew them themselves and also learnt to distinguish between the Zhay, Zha and Monde people. strangely enough there are more of these minority peoples hanging around all over the larger town of Sapa than there are in the villages-On the eve of our first day we pulled in the scoots and stopped for a game of pool and a beer. Apparently we were the first guests to enter this newly opened bar that day. the Brand spanking new full size american pool table, with balls you could eat off, supported this. Next thing i know in walks a couple of tiny, and i mean tiny, minority girls sporting their classical garments, the first words spoken being "Aright geezer" immediatly she had lost all chance of sweet talking us to get her help with a trek or tour of some kind. A whole corridor of doors closed, each with their own pot of money behind. The were very nice girls ofcourse with not just knowledge of the mountains bust almost gifted talents at pool. They play their shot with only one hand on the cue, and thats before they have even taken an account of where the balls are and somehow always manage to get them in the pockets. Another among many talents they all similarly posess are card games. admittedly they are able to perfect them every night when they sit down and attempt to blag up the tourists but gee wiskas, they are good. Not only good but very loud and their so quick its hard to play seeing as they always come and sit practically on your lap and 'helping' you they play the correct cards for you. They can even take the card from your hand and put it on the table before you've even thought about it, and then before even noticing that a card has been played they can whip another out your hand ready for the next move. They are very smart people. Like all touts they are very nice to chat to and lark about with, and soemtimes i even nauze them up just a little bit. Just never part with money or ask for their help in related matters.

For our entire 3 days based in sapa from an hour after our arrival at 3pm until 45minutes before we left to catch a train to Ha Noi we were in posession of our scoots, and we were on them constantly.First day we were lead to the petrol station through the pallid fog so dense that visibility was probably down to about 20ft. We explored the town and finished for a cold one in the bar and got aquainted with mei mei, and cockertee, and the sweet little Chi.

The second day we began with a breakfast of Bacon and eggs, what a treat! and after we drove north west towards Lao Chau to view the great waterfall. We bombed it up the mountain side up to 60km/h but when slowing down for a corner; and the fact my front wheel slipped out from beneath me, causing me to lose control and then by the skin of my teeth regain control by putting my foot on the ground and steadyingthe bike to a standstill, only enlightened me to the fact that i had a flat tyre. After getting this fixed we bombed it back up the same route hah. this was the Largest most magnificent waterall i have ever viewed. set on the cliff face atleast 300m up. We then drove on to Mt Fansipang, but because of visibility we turned back soon after.Foodwise Sapa was similar to europe in the fact that the food although greatly varied, was cattered for tourists, and i having tried it all before.

On the third day took a trip, this time south-east down the mountain side gliding down the winding roads that encased the valleys to Ban Ho, the minority village complete with hot springs. we grabbed a cheap cold one of a local beer, and played a game of doubles at evens and odds on the most deprived pool table i have ever seen, let alone played on. Truly a relic in itself. Post winning we discovered the hot springs or 'warm springs' to our disappointment and headed back up the mountain side to sapa. shay i think still a bit shaken up after his bail on the way down. which he told to me to seem pretty bad so not surprised.

Our last day we headed out in the same direction to a small residence of villager's with a road, if can call it that barely travellabe. Though with no mountain too high, we conquered boulders the size of human babies accending up to a river, which shay cannot say the same about.

Sapa is a pleasant town and not worth spending more than maybe a week exploring. prices are actually quite expensive. If you go, try to think of it as your paying for the preservation of the valley (even though you not) it makes it worth while. Atleast here the peopl have some idea of how not to quickly destroy such natural beauty.

Arriving early morning in Ha Noi on the overnight train we ventured off to find a hotel. All pretty expensive, but i suppose one cant expect any less from a capital city. Ha Noi is like a maze which is why you have to ride motorbikes because cars are less manouverable at 3point-turns in the narrow streets.

There are literally 1000's of motorbikes.Just like the rest of asia they aren't all legit and are definately not the most skills automobilist;Some clearly being no older than shays little brother, not to mention their lack of road awarenss. There are fewer sightings of overloaded scooters with both merchandise and people as there were in china, but they DO run red lights. Even if you've pulled up at a red light, a fair few seem to follow and wait patiently in your company. The majority however literally ust scoot round you,i couldn't quite believe it.

If on a scoot and one would like to navigate left or right. Steps to ensure certain death are as follows:

1)Decrease acceleration.If you have time.

2)Dont both with indicator, even if you have one and are familiar with using it.

3)Tilt ones' head to the corresponding direction (preferably with as little movement as possible)

4)Hope for the best.

NB.mirrors are for losers.

The vietnamese bike culture is so profound that alternative outcomes can be reached whilst still following this method.

If theres one thing i've learnt its that it is better to have no rules to break. Than to have rules and break them. You can see these countries will never be where they want to be unless they enforce their laws. India works, because theres no infrastrucure for the people to ignore.

Our first night we set about trying to locate a pool table and thank goodness we had a motorbike because we were searching for a good few hours. finally we found a bar, with only a couple of guys in there and very cheap drinks in the form of unlimited happy hour.Not to mention they showed the football!! after a few hours of pool, we noticed and influx of vietname's finest and soon was surrounded by beauties. shortly following this discovery we noticed that not all were beauties and that alot were actually men. many in tight jeans with their hairspiked up resembling hedgehogs and their bare smoothe pre-pubavesant school boy chests sprawled in full sight for everyone to see. We knew we were in the wrong place but once overcome this shocking discovery soon fell about laughing and just perched ourselves bang on in the centre of it all and continued to watch the football.

Ha Noi old quarter itself was a busy bee bumble little place, and has been the hardest place for me to orientate myself so far and actually for the first time, had no idea where we were at one point. It was just like thamel. A tiny district in a Capital city with every street identical to one another with sister names that would make more sense if they were in the lonely planet(sarcasm) and tourists and travellers packed in like peanuts. Not to mention the scoots cluttering not only the roads but also the pavements. Much like a hollingdean house party.

I didn't get to spend alot fo time in Ha Noi unfortunately but oneday i would love to go back.I also made some cracking purchased -South park seaons1-11 150,000Dong and the complete star wars collection for 50,000dong to name but a few.

The food in Ha Noi was some tasty s*** and not only did we get 3 of the tastiest take away doner kebabs to share for only 15,000Dong each we also discovered the Da Vinci of all peanuts baked and coated in CINNAMON!

Ha Long from Ha Noi to Hoi An?

Ha Long was a truly jurrasic landscape with perfectly picturess rock formations as far as the eye could see. We took a tour as seemed like the only option for us seeing as neither can sail a boat, and left for the endurance of 4Hours drive via a crafts village home to War Scard Napalm casualties. As they called it, orange acid. The art was superb and was formed of a technique i had not seen before.

Being part of a tour herd means you have to wait for all components of that group to sort themselves out and being the travellers we are were not looking for this. After hanging about at the dockcs me and shay were the first aboard. The boat we sailed on was an original junk although the sails were not functioning, i was happy.We had opted for one fo the cheaper tours but my it was luxury! After visiting a fishing village, which im not entirely sure how they work, we sat on the deck for lunch was to be served. Each and everyone of our group were seated at 1 of 3 tables. unfortunatley we were not seated at a table where someone had purchased a big fish for the crew to cook . we were however seat with a pleasant vietnamese family a granma granpa and daughter or son and their spouse, who A. didn't eat very much and B. brouht their own Ha Noi salami and their own watermelon. Thus surmounting to a greater substinence that a bunch of bony burnt fish.

Whilst on the tour we visited on of Ha Long's many caves this one rumoured to be one of the largest and then enjoyed an afternoons kayaking. Which was top quality exercise, and once again excelling ourselves in the height of stupidity.

It was a shame to see so many tourists in one spot, literally hundred of junks spewing out oil and you could sea the water was not clean and every now and then you would see the odd coke can float by. Im not blameing anyone but once again due to the access to education im sure its not the travllers littering. Such a perfect landscape that i did not vote for it to become the 7th natural wonder of the world as so many tourist boards were promoting because i knew that this would only bring an 1000's more tourists every year and destroying this Utopia faster than otherwise.

Hoi An was a fabulous place, and here i had my first chance of seeing a beach,it was similar to pictures of beaches i have seen in hawaii. sand so hot you have ot run across it and sea so populated with fish and jellyfish you have to run in an out regularly as not to get stung, which many times i thought i did. The townwas known to be Taylor town and every other shop was a Taylors shop. We learnt it was a neccessity to get a suit made and that noone went there without this in mind, us inclusive. It was a quite little riverside town, with magnificent mangoshakes and some street sandwhiches to die for. At night we become regulars at a bar and soon knew everyone in the joint. After which we would head out to our other local which as open until 6am where we would drink some sweet tasty Rhoue Rum. For the two consecutive nights we did this we got all our drinks for free as whilst chatting to the barman he asked me if would go on the motorbike to round up some peeps from the other bars that were closing to come to this one, being the only one open late., or early should i say. chucking shay on the back, we put our promoting peaks on and prowled the town for people.

As opposed to trying to cross the border here which was originally intended we decided to do the DMZ(De-Militarised Zone) in Hue just north of where we were. We learnt it would be possible to get there on motorbike so thats what we did.Howver all the tour shops in Hue explained that it was very far, close to 170KM which we were definatly not up for doing, but were also not so keen on the tour groups seeing as thats not our thing. In the end we got a road map and scooted for 3hours to the DMZ, taking turns of driving. We were heading to the Vinh Moc Tunnels. We followed a tour group into the entrance and then parted at the first turning down a darker unlit tunnel. they were fascinating and but not what id call cosy and i definatly wouldnt stay down there for long.After visitng the moving museum we left after spending about an hour there, and drove back hastily as it was getting dark. unluckiyl for me when shay stepped off the bike and i hopped on, it was practically dark and ahem! it started raining. Great fun but wouldnt do it again hah.