If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it .....

Where else could you see Batman, Darth Vader, a Transformer, Jack Sparrow, Homer Simpson or Elmo casually walking down the road? Or indeed, guys with signs such as "I need $50 for a hooker - why lie?". Yes it's Las Vegas. People generally love it or hate it. Personally, I love it - it's one of my favourite places on the planet.

Vegas feels like home territory having been here a before a couple of times before - in'08 with my Dad to watch the Calzaghe vs Hopkins fight and in '09 with the "ball and chain". Vegas can be overwhelming when you first arrive and walk the strip - so many things to see and so many places to visit. We're pretty clued up on it these days though.

After a bumpy flight from Hawaii we arrived at Aria - our hotel, after midnight. BJ rating of 4 - new and classy. Does not quite top the Encore though where we stayed last time. That was one of the few hotels ever to score a BJ of 5. Nevertheless, Aria is excellent and well positioned in the strip. Our suite is brand new with electronic curtains and a Jacuzzi.

On Sunday we revisited some old shopping haunts along the strip including the Miracle Mile, the Forum at Cesars and the Palazzo. We ended up at the Wynn and Encore - what a hotel. Pretty tired after those excursions we changed and headed to an old favourite - the Cheesecake Factory which scored a BJ rating of 4 before finishing off the night at the bond Bar at the Cosmopolitan, watching the dancing girls above our heads. Completely nuts.

Yesterday, we had a very busy day with it being her highnesses 33rd birthday. We decided to do some shopping and headed down the strip via the "deuce" bus to Town Square. We loaded up on A&F, Hollister and American Eagle - so much cheaper over here.

We then spent a couple of hours gambling with the "high rollers" in the Cosmopolitan. After being down, we ended up about $85 up which wasn't bad after a two hour stint during which Anna became addicted to the "fruities". The bright colours and sounds having a hypnotic effect on her senses. Looking around at the casino floor, the buzz is electric. I've never come to a place like Vegas - it has everything you could possibly want and the feeling that anything could happen, with "homies" mixing alongside southern rednecks, guys in suits or Stetsons and women in next to nothing. On one table is a guy winning two hundred thousand dollars. On another, a guy twenty grand down.

Anyway, for her ladyship's birthday, we headed over to the Venetian hotel and a lovely Italian restaurant called Canaletto, where we have eaten before, and which is set in replica of St Marks Square. After consuming some nice Italian food with a live band creating a soothing ambience, we headed across to the Marquee club at Cosmopolitan. This is one of THE clubs to party in Vegas and it is difficult to get in. I managed to wangle us on the guest-list and so we jumped right to the front of the queue and got in for free. It was fantastic in there - a great atmosphere with scantily clad young ladies left, right and centre.

Anna decided to make a beeline for the "boom box" room which was basically a hip hop area, full of "homies", including a tweeny chinese version of Will.I.AM who we were both buzzing off, as he was doing some "mad" moves. A highlight was a young black couple from Texas who were dancing like crazy to some pretty hardcore rap. The guy was like a "strip of s***" - about 6 foot five. The girl, had a massive arse on her and was carrying some "beef", but my God, they could dance. She was shaking that booty and he was on his knees at one point spinning around. They even got Anna moving - her left shoulder was twitching to the music at one point! I, on the other hand, was starting to get right into it, doing some right weird "homie" stuff with my hands and saying things like "word up" and "what's up G" to my new friends. After getting a few strange looks, we thought it was best to make an exit. Vegas is the club capital of the world - Calvin Harris is on next week at the Wynn and David Guetta the week after.

Oh - I almost forgot. I proposed to Anna last night as well, ending her long nine year servitude. I figured she had done just enough to impress me. So, listen up ladies - this is your last chance. If you ever "held a candle" for me, now is the time to shout and I will weigh up your attributes against my beloveds. Be quick though, as this "cat"
will be off the market soon. You have one month to enter your submissions (with a picture) to be my partner (close date 31 March) to:

[email protected]

The criteria I will score is based as follows:

98% Looks (no uglies need apply)
1% Personality
1% Intelligence

I know this rules out most of you, but there is "potential" out there. Good luck and I await the submissions with interest. You never know you might hit the jackpot .......

In the absence of getting a better offer, I look forward to seeing some of you, maybe, (if I like you) at a wedding around 2020/2021.

Adios for now.