So we arrived into Uyuni near the edge of the salt flats after a short 8 hour bus ride. Coming into the town I looked out the window to see litter and rubbish as far as the eye could see - what a dump! I see the usual stray dog on every corner which conjures up thoughts of coming back to South America to hunt and shoot all the stray dogs which give tourists so many problems.

After collecting my bag, I discovered it had been soaked in a down pour during the day, not because I didn't use a pack cover but because the Bolivian sand monkey which loaded my bag didn't care how he stacked the bags and half of them had their waterproof covers facing downward. I'll shoot him too when I come back on my dog vendetta.

We checked in to a cheap hotel and went looking for a tour company to ferry us across the salt flats into Chile. We ended up booking with Andes Salt Expeditions as it was listed first in the Lonely Planet guide and they made a good sales pitch to us. In retrospect they should have been called "Andes s***box tours" or "Andes - Unroadworthy jeeps and untrustworthy guides"

After a good night's sleep we headed out towards the salt flats in 2 battered old jeeps with cracked windows, no seat belts, and no air con. This wouldn't have bothered me so much except the guide assured me we would not be taking these 2 jeeps and this was also the most expensive tour of all the companies we talked to. In South America more more expensive tour is likely to equal a rip off rather than better quality.

Our first stop was a train graveyard which was pretty lame and just filler for the first hour or two of the trip. Second stop - a small town where they still mine the salt from the flats, all done by hand too which seems stupid but I guess this is why Bolivia is still a 2nd world country. Pretty cool to see mountains of salt bricks for building and salt powder for consumption.

Then we really got moving, sitting in our battered jeeps, hurtling out over the salt flats to a salt restaurant for lunch and to take the first series of silly photos that everyone takes on salt flats. Llama and quinoa for lunch reminds me of the countless meals I had eaten in Australia in the pursuit of gaining muscle mass, I'm actually missing it.

The afternoon was filled with a few hours of driving across the vast expansive lakes of dried salt that were once apparently trapped ocean. We stopped along the way to mine some salt crystals below the hard upper crust, explore "fush island" (kiwi pronunciation) which was covered in hundreds of cactuses, take some more silly photos, and watch the sunset.

Our accommodation was an impressive salt hotel complete with a salt bar. Everything was salt except for the roof. We had a pretty good group of 13 people from Australia, Canada, and England mostly. Our group was one person larger than it was supposed to be so the tour company left the cook out to make room - needless to say the food was average.

An evening of beers and playing cards was perfect downtime as we watched the night-time lightning strikes far out on the salt flats.

An early start found us out on the road again which had changed from smooth salt flats to bumpy rocky roads. Day 2 was not as fun as day one and had us stopping at many lakes of different colours - all filled with flamingos. We saw lots of sand, rocks, sand, desert, sand and more desert. Our guide was good enough to sleep most of the day in the front seat but I guess rocks and sand do not need much explaining.

We had hostel type accommodation on night two, and had another evening playing cards which was good times. The highlight of the evening was watching Kim tear shreds off the guide for trying to pass off a fried egg and chips as a gluten free alternative to our spaghetti bolognese. Our guide had assured us they cater for gluten free people often and we spent 10 mins in his office going through the menu before the trip - Ande's Salt House of Lies.

Day three was pretty cool, literally as we begun at 4:30am at +5000m in 5 degree air. We saw geysers and mud pools before breakfast and then sat in some clean hot springs to watch the sunrise as breakfast was prepared. The entertainment of the morning was watching Kim transform into Kimzilla and devour the guide as he presented her with cold bland white rice for breakfast while the rest of us had pancakes and cereal. Not tipping the guide did however save us 20% on the trip.

We crossed the border at 11am into Chile into an oasis called San Pedro which afforded us good food, fast wifi, clean comfortable accommodation, and bright warm sunshine. It was like arriving into paradise after our Bolivian hospitality.