Bangkok

Learning from previous mistakes, I booked a flight that left in the afternoon for a change and arrived in Bangkok at sensible time of 7.30 in the evening. I'd been told there were loads of guest houses in town so figured finding a bed wouldn't be a problem. It turns out that the Kao San road area is incredibly busy on a Saturday night and it wasn't until the tenth time of asking that I actually found somewhere to sleep.

I was up early the next morning for my noodle breakfast, and booked a ticket to Chiang Mai. My first impression of Bangkok was I didn't like it, but decided to give it a go and headed out to get a river taxi to see some of the sights. Well the river taxi didn't start running for another few hours and after turning down several offers of taxi rides and tuk tuk tours I wandered over to see the Golden Palace. At which point a jolly "monk in training" (his words) told me the palace was shut for a couple of hours and wearing shorts I wouldn't get in anyway. Well a man of religion wouldn't lie and he even suggested several statues I could go and see for free, so for some reason I got reluctantly into a tuk tuk for a quick tour of the city which he arranged for me... First stop was to see some sitting down buddah statue... Which cost me 20 bahts to see! Second stop was at a silk shop which I wasn't interested in but apparently the driver got a free petrol token if I had a look round, so I obliged and spent ten minutes looking at suits I didn't want. Third stop was at a travel agents! The driver was being helpful, afterall I'd said I was heading to Chiang Mai, and this was where I could buy my train ticket. I explained I already had one. He said I should still have a look round. I said no chance, so we headed to another buddah statue, this time a big old standing up one that thankfeck was free to see. Back in the tuk tuk we stopped outside another silk shop. After five minutes of arguing, my point being "I don't want to look around another shop, I'm not going to buy anything, in fact I'm not getting out of yout tuk tuk till we get somewhere I want to be" and his being "Please have a look, it won't hurt to look", we left the shop and headed back to the Kao San where I gave him fifty baht and got the hell back to the hotel for lunch... Rice. After a lazy afternoon in the relative cool of the hotel I tried some local green curry. Toasty to say the least, and a meal I couldn't fininsh which is a rarity!

Next day was spent hiding from tuk tuk drivers until heading to the train station in the evening for a sleeper train to Chiang Mai.

Chiang Mai

Some time around seven in the morning I woke up in what could've been Rambo territory, lots of paddy fields, jungle, old huts and mist. Got to the hotel around ten, had a quick look round town and spent another day relaxing, the highligh being thundercats was on telly!

So up at 7.15 to take advantage of the free brekkie and have one last shower before being picked up for a jungle trek. Minimal kit required, i.e. change of scants, water bottle, torch and toilet paper, and after a couple of hours in the truck we stopped near a town called Mae Wang for people to buy snacks. I bought Oreos. And then onto a town called Ban Mae Wong to ride on elephants! Being the only solo traveller in the group, I got semi-special treatment - Well I had my own elephant, which turned out to be an eight month old calf which pretty much did what it pleased unlike the older animals which listened to their guides and didn't attempt to steal all the others bananas. Ah well, not my fault... Finished the ride and stopped for lunch (rice and pineapple) and then had a two hour trek through the jungle to a small waterfall where a few of us decided to jump in asnd get rid of the sweat. Another half hour walk later and we were in a White Karen village where we chilled around the campfire for the night (curry and rice for dinner), and I bought another piece of tat I'll never use... A little wooden flute thing some chappy had spent a day making. At least they didn't talk me into buying a pink woven man bag I suppose. And so to bed. Annoyingly everyone else had already bedded down adn had stolen all the matresses so I ended up kipping on some bamboo. Not the best nights sleep I've ever had, but good for the man points...

Up early next morning (well I was, everyone else was comfortable!), and eggs for breakfast. A twenty minute walk later and most of the group (who were doing a two day trek) turned to walk in a different direction to the die hard five of us doing the three day marathon... Myself, two French chaps, a Russian couple and our Thai guide, Tony. Ten minutes or so further up hill we found a footy pitch and had a bit of a kick around. Got to remember to stop trying to head footballs while wearing glasses. They get bent. And so three hours up hill through jungle in the heat. Most of it fades from the memory, except the moment Tony asked if I wanted to see a spider. I said ok, and he said it was on my head. So I froze, thinking what the feck, while Tony picked up a small twig and threw it in the air above me. I took a few steps back, looked up and saw this massive web with an equally huge spider in it, the spider actually managing to catch the twig and trying to kill it. Panic over, well it wasn't actually on my head, and we carried on throught he jungle until we came across a red Karen village for lunch (noodles), and another half hours walk to our camp for the night. This one had a nice big waterfall, so borrowed one of the frenchies shampoo and went for a wash. Turned out to be absolutely freezing, but necessary, even had a change of pants (throwing away the old ones, they were gonners after two days) and spent another evening round the campfire (rice for dinner), playing a game called evolution which involved pretending to be jungle animals - The only game we knew that didn't involve words to save on communication problems...

Last day of the trek, up early again, more eggs and an hours walk, stopping to feed a funnel web spider a dead cecada we found and we made it to another town for lunch, you gessed it, rice. The it was on with the swimming shorts again and aboard a bamboo raft for a forty minute ride down stream. Shallow water so no fear of drowning, the trip mainly involved soaking every person we saw, either on another raft or on the side of the river, with them returning the favour. And then a two hour drive back to Chaing Mai, clothes drying nicely in the open sided truck, and into the hotel, where I gave them my laundry to do and went to bed.

Spent the next day and a half sleeping, watching telly and trying not to waste money on tat in the local night bazar.

Back to Bangkok

Mid afternoon, taxi ride to the train station for another fifteen hour journey back to Bangkok. The ipod got a pasting, and i lose count of the number of sudokus I completed. Arrived the following morning in Bagkok, thinking I was going to have another nightmare finding a bed, what with it being six am and all, but only took two attempts and I was in and sleeping... Well trains aren't that good for kipping on, even if you have a bed...

Last day wasted the morning watching telly and went to the airport to go to Hong Kong. First impression, didn't like Bangkok. That impression didn't change. Jungle trek was good fun. Didn't see any beaches down south which are meant to be beautiful, but don't think I'll be heading back anytime soon to find out...