December 2nd to December 5th

Day 16- Bundaberg to Rainbow Beach (174km)

Up early and gone, we had a deadline of 2 o'clock to be in Rainbow beach for a brief before our tour. Out through Bundaberg to the Bruce highway was easy and uneventful. When we came off the motorway in a town called Maryborough we got lost. We ended up in suburbia with not a clue how to get out. It wasn't our fault either; Maryborough for some unknown reason has 0 street signs. They expect people to just blindly find their way through a city using pure luck. It was however with this luck that we found our way out, a sign for a McDonalds also aided our cause. Back nearing the coast we took a small road the rest of the way to the tiny town of Rainbow Beach. The tiny road was made through a humongous forest. Seriously, as far as we could see in all directions were trees, and this was for at least an hour and a half with us driving like 'Speed Racer'.

Having arrived in Rainbow in record time we attended our briefing for our Fraser Island trip. At the briefing we had to watch a 45 minute video about driving in sand and not killing yourself driving like buffoons!! It was all very patronising and a massive snore-fest. Afterward we were introduced to our group. As with our Whitsunday tour we were lumped with Europeans. 3 Germans (2 boys and a girl), 2 Swedish girls and a Belgian guy. It sounds like the start to a really funny joke but it actually wasn't. First impressions mean alot and our group could be summed up in one word, awkward. No one really said alot and we just about introduced ourselves. After the briefing we went to get supplies for the tour. These supplies included alot of Goon!!! We stopped in a hostel car park that night but enjoyed using a proper kitchen. We made the biggest best spaghetti bolognaise ever knowing that our dinners might not be that big for the next few nights.

Day 17- Rainbow Beach to Fraser Island (distance unknown)

Up early to go meet the crew and get the 4x4 stocked and ready. As Mel took charge of working through our checklist the others stood around watching her British efficiency in awe. At this moment we still aren't talking much and the other 3 groups seems to be getting on like a house on fire!! Our 2 moody German lads then got abruptly told to fill the giant water bottles while we stock up the jeep with our stuff. The jeep we have is a Toyota Land Cruiser, it's stripped or everything except the stereo and the 4 wheel drive is permanently on. This bad boy sits 8 and is pretty much built for sand driving. The vans are stocked and we finally meet our 'guide' for the holiday. If we were to rate his brief that morning out of 10, it would easily be 15. Our Fraser godfather was called Luke, and fair play to him he stood in front of 30 people and rhymed his whole brief. The man was like a comedy poet, every sentence was hilarious and slightly informative. He told us to totally forget the video and drive how he does. Mel took up driving duty as our European cousins aren't used to having the wheel on the right hand side of the car!!

After a short ferry trip to the island Mel decided to stay at the wheel and we drove along a dirt road at about 100mph. This turned up loads of dust and was making it really hard to see. We were in car 4 so we had all the other crap from the cars in front to deal with as well. Then we all stopped. Luke came and explained that we were about to hit the really soft sand and told us what to do. After spending some time in first gear with the revs firmly in the red zone we made it out to the beach sand. Mel did a great job of driving and managed to get everyone in the back wet by driving through the waves slightly faster than she should of. Mel drove us all the way to the first stop, lunch. It was at lunch we realised that we might have to babysit the rest of the group for the next few days. No one took control of the relatively easy job of making sandwiches. Up steps Griffo and Shrive who would not be taking any prisoners. Cheese sliced, tomatoes cut, beef opened. Watch Declan make a sandwich and then copy were the orders! After lunch we headed inland. This is where the driving got alot harder. The roads being made totally of sand offer hardly any traction on a flat surface, now we were heading up into the hills. The German girl, Leoni, took up the mantle of driving. Out of the three Germans she was the only German who actually spoke to us the entire time we were there! We climbed the steep hills in the jeep all the way up to Lake McKenzie. We got to Lake McKenzie, in a frenzy, to have a lark, in the National Park. Lake McKenzie is one of only 78 lakes in the whole world that is filled solely by rain. Having no rivers or steams makes the lake in effect a giant puddle. It has a sand base full of minerals that give it anti aging properties. The indigenous people on the island used to use this lake only for drinking as it had no impurities, however now it has been contaminated by sweaty travellers full of lotions. The lake was beautiful and incredibly refreshing; we lapped it up and lay on the bank catching some rays.

After our dip in the lake the midget angry German took the wheel and droves us down the hills thinking he was 'cruisin thru da hood'. We arrived thankfully in one piece at central station slap bang in the middle of the island. Our guide explained the history of the island and what had happened when the Brits had turned up. Not going to bore you with the details, they exploited it and everyone there, then left it a sorry state. We then went walking through the rainforest that is now regrowing in the area that was torn down. The rain forest is the oldest, tallest rainforest that grows in sand. Obviously because rainforests don't grow in sand nowadays the trees have remained unchanged since dinosaur times. Walking through our prehistoric forest Luke pointed us out a single plant that had been tested and found to be 'older than Jesus', 2500 years old. We than had a lovely glass of pure water filtered down incredibly slowly through the 'puddle' lakes; we say lovely, it tasted muddy. Angry tall German then takes the wheel and drives like Schumacher all the way to our camp. We were stopping on the aborigines land in camp K'Gari, which is what they call Fraser and translated means paradise. K'Gari is shared by a few different companies that run tours to the island; it is split into two sections with a 'club' in the middle. It wasn't really a club; it was a large covered stage that had a sound system people could attach an iPod to. Anyway the two sections were like heaven and hell. Section one was shared by 3 tour groups (100 people) using 5 stoves and going 3-4 to a tent. Section two was to be shared by one group, using 4 stoves and enough tents for pairs. The allocating of the sections is done by the guides but it is obvious which one would be better...........Guess which one we got???

Thank the lord we got section two. Luke, the lord in this case, had told us he had won the area off the other guides and we should thank him. We found ourselves a tent and then met our group in the common area. Having unloaded the food and drink from the trailer members our group were standing around scratching their balls waiting for 'mommy' to make them dinner. Mel and Dec to the rescue again. This time we were helped though by the Swedish girls, Jacqueline and Josephine. We thought making dinner would also be the perfect time to start drinking our rocket fuel goon. When the goon starts a flowin, your brain cells aint growing. The girls joined us and we happily chatted while the rest sat with sour faces and empty plates. Steak and potatoes for dinner, and you can be damn sure who the biggest steak went to!!! We even made sure the German midget, who still hasn't spoken a word to us, had the smallest portion. We got up and left for the campfire safe in the knowledge that we wouldn't be washing up. That night we chatted to the rest of the tour party and got to know Jacqueline and Josephine better. Jacqueline and Josephine became known as Benny and Bjorn, as we chatted about ABBA for considerable lengths. Then a tipsy Declan spoke at great lengths about the Avengers film as Jacqueline was also a fan. We retired to our tent to effectively spend the night on the floor in a hole on the rock hard sand floor.

Day 18- Fraser Island, top to bottom. (Distance unknown)

We woke up sore. Sore heads and aching backs, only one of which was self inflicted. We met our group and once again took charge of making food. The girls helped and the Belgian guy, Kimm also decided he had had enough of sitting around with our resident mood vacuums. Luke arrived from the 'luxury' guides camp and bust out some rhymes for the hangover sufferers. Declan had made it his mission to think up some for Luke to use, after adding to one of his lines at the lake. Luke loved it and welcomed having a lyrical sidekick, so to speak.

Van loaded and driver changed. Kimm took the wheel this time with Declan riding shotgun. Kimm, clearly suffering from the night before decided to turn the jeep around in a space to small and we ended up doing a 97 point turn, akin to Mike Myers in Austin Powers! Eventually he gave up and drove down a dead end, much to everyone's enjoyment. We finally faced the right way and headed back off down the beach passing some wild dingoes along the way. We drove with "safe hands" at the wheel down the island towards Eli Creek. Eli Creek is a freshwater creek filled with the pure water from two 'puddle' lakes in the hills. Luke refers to the creek as hangover creek and it is obvious why.But you don't take a leek, in Eli Creek. Even though it was baking the creek was refreshingly cold. We walked about 500meters into the forest and hopped in. We floated all the way down washing away the aches of the previous night's festivities. When we arrived back at the beach, we got up and did it again just to make sure. Before settling into some much needed lying down we went off to find a whale carcass Luke had mentioned. The whale smelt like death and was a real anti-climax. The walk was tiring and the rotting whale really wasn't worth it. Back to the group and back to lying down.

It was finally time for Declan to drive. From Eli Creek we headed north along the beach to the shipwreck. The drive was totally uneventful and Declan didn't see how the Germans had got so much fun out of it. It felt like driving on snow in a 4x4. After his short stint he had decided he would rather be driven around, it made him feel slightly regal. The shipwreck was an old 1900s cruise liner that had ferried Aussies around until the Japs bought it off them in the 1930s. While towing it home the Japs hadn't realised that a cyclone had snapped the tow rope. It washed up after floating at sea for 5 days. How the f***, did the Japs get it stuck! It washed up on the beach, but just out of reach. According to Luke, the Japanese used the rescue attempts (of which there were many) to secretly map the eastern coastline before WW2. During the war the Aussie RAF used the vessel as firing practice and had all but blown it to pieces. What was left was enough for a photo op before we drove back to camp to make lunch.

After lunch we headed to the tip of the island and a place called the Champagne falls. The champagne falls are small rock pools that keep the sharks out but let the sea water in. The sea water is let in by the crashing of waves against the rocky shore. The waves erupt and explode over the rocks like champagne bubbles flying out of a bottle. It is the only part of the island where it is safe to swim in the ocean so after a very quick dip we sat on the beach and had a power nap.

Following that we headed to the highest headland on the island, Indian head. Indian head was a hunting place for the aboriginal people of the island due to the abundant marine life that surrounds it. The aborigines used to work with wild pods of dolphins to lure and catch fish. They would then give the dolphins the largest fish and take only what they needed. The headland is now also sacred due to executions that occurred when the Brits arrived. After some small incidents the Brits used the headland's height to massacre 36 women and children, to set an example to the tribesmen about who was 'boss'. From the top we spotted a pod of dolphins and numerous turtles before heading down to the beach which was littered with jellyfish.

Back at camp we cooked dinner again with most of the group pitching in. After the Germans left for the other section and Kimm, Benny and Bjorn taught us some words while we drank the night away. Kimm had forgotten to mention that he could understand German and he filled us in on the conversations the Krauts had been having in the car. He comically explained that they talked about wanting to be Schumacher while driving around in the jeep!! The five of us then decided to brave the wild dingoes and head down to the beach to see the stars. When we arrived back at camp we headed to the 'club' to see what was on offer. The music was a free for all and mainly European. Benny had now became quite drunk and we taught her 'big fish, little fish' she attempted to teach us some Swedish moves before we reverted back to ABBA!!! The club filled up and the music became more suspect and techno. We headed back to the tents to give ourselves back problems.

Day 20- Fraser Island to Rainbow beach to Noosa (187 km)

Early start again in camp and breakfast was alot chattier as Benny was suffering a goonova and we all revelled in it. As we had all now drove a member of the guides jeep came to have a go in ours. He didn't speak the whole drive so we just sat back and listened to the whining voice of Bryan Adams while playing movie trivia. We were heading to Lake Wabby, where we made it our hobby, to not act snobby. When we arrived we were told it was a 40 minute walk through the woods. Walking through sand for that long really hurts your legs and by the time we came to the end of the path we were sweating buckets. We came to the end where we saw an endless sea of sand. (see photos) We continued along the sand until we saw the lake. Right at the bottom of where we were standing laid a crystal clear lake. Its three side covered by forest with the fourth, a giant wall of sand. We resisted the urge to roll down the large hill as people have broken their backs in the past. We relaxed and sunbathed beside the lake for a few hours before walking the miles back to the jeep.

We stopped off in the small town for ice cream and lunch and by then it was time to go back to the mainland. Luke passed round his tour book and it was time for us to right something. He came over grinning saying there was no pressure to match his lyrical genius. He was swiftly told the Joe Griffin line that 'Pressure's for tyres'. He loved that more than the message we wrote.

On Fraser we went on tour,

Our guide Luke did not bore,

He kept us full of smiles,

As we drove for miles and miles,

Thanks for all the rhymes,

And for giving us great times.

Not too shabby for the time we had before we set off back to Rainbow beach. Once back we said our goodbyes to our new pals and 'zee Germans' and headed off to clean up after roughing it for three days. Luke asked our plans for the evening and we told him we were getting out Rainbow and heading down the coast. He asked if we were going to Noosa, we were, and then asked if we minded bringing him as that's where he lived and he didn't want to have to share the bus. We obliged and had an extra singing voice for our 2 hour trip down the coast. Luke helped us find a place to stop and we said our goodbyes. We then had a shower, for near enough an hour, then we lay on our back and hit the sack.

Were 2293km down from Cairns and nearly out of Queensland.