We've been home nearly a week now and the jet-lag is just about beaten: getting up is probably just normal hard now, not especially jet-lag hard! It is lovely to be home and to begin to see people and to catch up with all that has been happening whilst we've been away. It is also time to reflect on the experience of house-swapping and that's what Jill wants to write about here - you'll note that she is stepping away from our usual blog-authoring convention of not identifying the author (although we suspect that you've been able to guess the author of an individual post as Jill uses way too many colons; semi-colons and exclamation marks!).

Our fantastic twelve week trip has only been financially possible because of house, and car-swapping. We've enjoyed staying in a wide range of amazingly different properties. Whilst different the homes we've stayed in have been always clean and welcoming, always well-located and always interesting. We've appreciated the benefits of having a washing machine, well-equipped kitchens (I say well-equipped - we've always been able to cook well just sometimes with slightly inventive use of utensils!) and other home comforts. It's been great to be able to have a relaxing day when we've needed one whether this was weather or travel-weariness dictated. We've taken good care of the homes we've stayed in and of the cars we've been able to drive - confident that the visitors to our home, using our car, were being as careful. After all that's the premise of house-swapping: there has to be mutual trust and equally applied care for the property of others. In previous house-swaps our return home has not been marred by anything more serious than our kitchen cupboards and drawers have been re-organised. I suspect that we've been guilty of that too in the homes we've stayed in to some extent as it's difficult sometimes to remember exactly where you found everything. I like things in their right places (Dave is sensibly more relaxed about this) so when tired after a journey home I will admit that this has caused a little distress but all short-lived and - really too a growing realisation that it's ok!

In this trip we were travelling via a sequence of house-swaps which was only possible because of the support of our wonderful friend Pamela who agreed to extend her usual house-cleaning to take care of the house and car, to ensure that everything was as it should be for the next set of house-swap guests. Our guests knew that she was undertaking this for us. Accidents happen - well two to the car actually - and we can understand that but not leaving an explanatory, apologetic note for Pam is less easy to understand. She had responsibility to ensure that the car was fit for use by the next guests and of course has worried about the damage on our behalf.

Our agreement with all of the house-swappers was that they should leave the house clean and tidy, take the sheets off the beds they had used but that Pam would take care of the laundry and remake the beds. Why then I wonder did the majority of guests feel it was ok to leave washing-up in the sink for Pam to do, and their rubbish littered over the house for her to put out? As she asks, did they not know when they were leaving?! And as to the visitors who left hair debris pulled from hair-brushes in the kitchen and living room and used dental floss littering the bathroom - well we're disgusted that they would think it was ok to treat our wonderful Pam as a servant to clear up their personal mess. The worst culprits left a £5 'tip' for Pam for cleaning up after them - insult that this is it's on its way to a charity.

We had a Spanish family staying in a gap between our Canadian and American visitors and they passed the 'care of property test' - all others failed. There are mitigating factors for some of the issues with the Canadians - you'd be disappointed but would understand if I bored you with the details. The Americans however were simply thoughtless and disgusting in their behaviour. Nothing has been broken or damaged in the house but knowing that my home has been left dirty and in a mess has upset me. Although what most upsets me is that Pam has been treated so badly.

I do struggle to reconcile the behaviours of our guests with what I know about them. We met several of them and/or feel that we know them from Skype contact and their actions to us and I would not have predicted that they could be so thoughtless. Maybe North Americans have a different relationship with their cleaners. I don't like that as an explanation but in trying to rationalise their behaviours this is the only idea I have.

Will I house-swap again? Well, we have further tentative swaps arranged with the Spanish family that I can probably cope with honouring but I'm really not sure that I can swap any more with people I don't know. The belief that I can trust other people to take as good care of my home as I am taking of their's is very seriously weakened. I may come to feel that I can try again (but never with Americans) because even at this close proximity to these problems I can still see the advantages of house-swapping but I will be much more wary.

Pam has now quit as our cleaner. I can't tell you how painful this is. She has been with me for close to 20 years and she is a much loved friend not just a cleaner. She was the most brilliant cleaner because she treated our home as she does her own. That's the problem of course - she's been too bruised by the carelessness and thoughtlessness of our house-swappers because she cared too much: the lack of care of our property as if lack of care to her own property. And we wouldn't want her to be any different: maybe the fault is ours for asking her to take on this role. It probably is if I'm honest with myself.

I'm just lucky that she hasn't also quit as my friend.

Dave is not seeking to have the final word on this but it is now his turn to add his views.

I share Jill's views as written here and although I've not known Pam anything like as long I too have been distressed at how she's felt as a result of our guests' attitudes and behaviour. I'm someone who finds it relatively easy to put trust in people because my experiences of this world are that generally trust and care are what I've experienced. I've also had a longer history of positive house swap experiences to build my confidence.

I'm more saddened than anything that my trust in humanity has been dented by this year's swap experiences. I'm also puzzled at the discrepancy between some of the positive side of our guests and their lack of care elsewhere. We've been trusted to enter some beautiful homes that are clearly cared for. Some swap guests went out of their way to make our stays as good as they were. One couple organised baseball game tickets for us another insisted on cooking us a meal and driving us an hour to our hire car pick-up. I suspect a significant factor is that typically our summer guest had cleaners of their own and knew that Pam was coming along after them. Despite the Intervac ethos and the clear written agreement about cleaning the house on departure I wonder if they have different relationships and expectations of their cleaners and assumed their hotel-like departure behaviour was OK in these circumstances? I'm not condoning or excusing here, I remain appalled at some of the behaviours. However, I do wonder if we had explained Pam's role differently that our guests might have modified their unsatisfactory departure behaviours. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and whilst I don't think I could have predicted these circumstances, I do feel sorry that my arrangements with our guests have contributed to Jill and Pam's distress and discomfort.

Will I want to house swap again? I'd like my faith in human nature restored please.