Meeting the family in Trivandrum

There's no hospitality like Keralite hospitality. If there's one thing I've learnt about Keralites, it's that they know how to treat their guests! I've just spent the best part of a week staying with my extended family in Trivandrum and I feel very enthusiastic about writing this next blog entry as it was such a wonderful experience. I won't be able to mention everyone I met but if you look through my pictures when I put them up, almost everyone will be there.

On Wednesday the 23rd of February Uncle Robin (Mum's cousin) came to pick me up from Trivandrum train station where I'd arrived from Varkala. After a brief stop at a restaurant for some vada and chai, we went to the house to meet the rest of the family. As soon as we got there, Papa (Grandfather) called from Malaysia to check up on me and to make sure everyone was looking after me (Papa did this everyday!) To Mum's cousins, Papa is known as Valiapa which loosely translates to "Big Dad". Papa needn't have worried as everyone took such good care of me, and Chris too when he eventually came to stay. That first evening I went out for dinner with Uncle Robin, Aunty Susie (Mum's cousin), Uncle Matthew and their son Jacob to a restaurant famous for its hyderabadi biryani, yum!

The next morning I got to meet Uncle Robin's sons Abin (5) and Aaron (3) before Abin went to school. They are really cute and complete opposites - Abin is very extroverted and Aaron is more introverted. Aunty Susie made Appam and Stew for breakfast which was delicious! The next couple of days were spent visiting various relatives from both Papa's and Amumma's (Grandmother) side of the family. On the first day we went to visit Mum's cousin Aunty Celine. She showed me pictures of her father, Papa's brother Michael as well as pictures of her children and grandchildren. Aunty Celine had worked as a nurse in Dubai for 5 years but is now living in Kerala. We also visited Mum's cousin Aunty Mayma, her children Jeannie and Jinoo, and her grandson Aaron who all live next door in the house where Papa was born. I'd been told by Mum and Uncle Felix that I should visit this house so I was very happy to be there and tried to imagine Papa there as a baby. That afternoon we went to visit Uncle Mathai who is my Amumma's brother. He lives in a house on the beach with his lovely family. I met three of his four daughters Aunty Rossy, Aunty Jessy and Aunty Hazel (Aunty Sudha is in the Gulf) and their children. I could list them all but it would be better just to look at my pictures as I have a lot of second cousins! For lunch they cooked up a delicious feast of seafood and various curries. After lunch we all sat under some palm trees in the sand and just chatted about our families. A few old photos that Mum had sent them years ago emerged as well which was a good laugh! Why did I ever think I looked cool in dungarees? Uncle Robin had to do all the translating on both sides as there was quite a big language barrier between us. On the way home we stopped off to see one of Amumma's sisters, my Great Aunt Cristina. She has 5 children but I only met Aunty Meena (Mum's cousin) and 2 of her children called Shilpa and Vapin.

That evening we went to a local beach where I got to meet Aunty Baby's husband Uncle Beddyson and their children Reshma, Roshan and Rohan. Reshma is a ray of sunshine. She's my second cousin but feels very much like the little sister I never had. I'm so pleased we met and I hope she'll come to England for a visit one day. The twins Roshan and Rohan remind me very much of my brothers when they were that age!

On Friday morning Chris arrived from Varkala and Uncle Robin and I picked him up from the station. We went to visit one of the temples Uncle Felix had recommended - Sri Padmanabhaswamy. Unfortunately we couldn't go in as we're not Hindu but it was nice to see it from the outside. We then went to the Sri Chitra Art Gallery to see some Kerala art! There were a lot of works by Ravi Varma there. Afterwards we went to a restaurant called Azad for some amazing Kerala meals (a kind of thali). We then spent a few hours at the house playing with Abin and Aaron before finally heading out to Kovalam beach with the whole family. Aunty Susie, Uncle Matthew and Jacob came as well as Aunty Baby, Reshma, Roshan and Rohan. I also got to meet Uncle Johnson, Aunty Sheila and their adorable baby Emmanuel. Kovalam is a great beach. It lacks the beauty of Goan beaches but it makes up for it in character, atmosphere and waves - surfer's paradise! Chris and Uncle Robin spent most of the time swimming through the huge waves while Reshma and I just paddled around as we didn't bring swimming costumes. Chris and Uncle Robin enjoyed themselves so much that they decided to come back later in the week for more swimming! That evening we went to Uncle Oliver (Mum's cousin) and Aunty Elsie's house for dinner. Uncle Oliver is Papa's brother Uncle Michael's son. I met Uncle Oliver and Aunty Elsie's children Elisabeth, Simi and Joseph and Simi's baby. In true Kerala style they had cooked up an enormous feast - biryani, tandoori chicken, prawns, calamari, and fish. Amazing!

On Saturday morning we went to visit another one of Amumma's sisters, my Great Aunt Flory. With Uncle Robin's help translating we constructed a bit of a family tree. Aunty Flory had 10 children, 2 of whom sadly passed away a few years ago. Something which made me laugh was when Aunty Flory asked Uncle Robin if he was speaking to me in Tamil as she couldn't understand the language he was speaking in. Apparently any time she hears a foreign language she assumes it's Tamil. Afterwards we went to see Aunty Maglin (Mum's cousin) who is very sweet and her 2 sons. In the afternoon Uncle Robin took Chris and I to Aunty Baby and Uncle Beddyson's beautiful house where we would be staying for the night. The house was built by Uncle Beddyson who builds beautiful churches all over Trivandrum. That evening after dinner we drove around the City to see the ladies setting up for Pongala, which is a Hindu festival and is in the Guinness Book of Records for being the largest congregation of women!

On Sunday morning we woke up very early to go to 7.30am Mass at the nearby church. The service was in Malayalam so neither Chris or I could understand a word but it seemed much like any other Mass except that here, men and women sit separately and women have to cover their hair with a veil. Aunty Baby made idiappam, chapatti and chicken curry for breakfast and for lunch we had fried fish, chicken curry, avial, thoran, beetroot, curd and red rice. You can tell when I've enjoyed a meal because I remember almost every dish that was prepared! After lunch Uncle Robin picked us up and took us, Abin and Jacob to Kovalam Beach for more swimming. When we got there the waves looked so good that Uncle Robin and Chris got bodyboards. I was too scared to venture that deep into the sea so I stayed with Abin and Jacob! We then went to a restaurant by the beach for a few drinks and Abin and Jacob had 3 ice creams each. A chocolate bar each on the way home as well meant that they were bouncing off the walls of the car from all the sugar! Uncle Robin and I went to my Great Uncle Carmen's house for dinner that evening. Uncle Carmen passed away a few years ago but Aunty Mayma and her daughter Aunty Susan (Mum's cousin) were there and the grandchildren San (3) and Sandra (7) whose pet name is Priya. Priya gave me some earrings from her own collection and when I tried to resist taking jewellery from a little 7 year old girl, she looked so upset! Sadly this was my last night in Trivandrum and we left for Delhi the next day, with our bags several kilos heavier from all the presents.

Any anxieties I had about differences in culture, dress and even language disappeared quite quickly after I arrived in Trivandrum as I discovered that in many ways my extended family in India are very much like my immediate family in Malaysia. There was no passing of judgement about our cultural differences and for everything that was different, even more things were familiar. The family tree from Mum's side now branches out through India, Malaysia, the Gulf, and England but we are all connected through our shared love and respect for the head of the family, Papa.