THE TRANS-SIBERIAN EXPRESS - (though technically the Trans-Mongolian route)

With a length of 7,356km it is the longest railway line in the world entailing a journey across 3 different countries, three different cultures, 2 continents (Europe and Asia), 5 different time zones, through a shed load of trees and with a ride alongside the oldest and biggest lake in the world - Lake Baikal. All the way from Moscow to Beijing, via Siberia and Mongolia.

We firstly and rather impressively navigated the wonderful Moscow metro from Павел 77;цкая (Paveletsky) to Комсо 84;ольск& #1072;я (Komsomol'skaya) with each station showing off grand marble walls and huge impressive ceilings - they even do tours around the metro. Quite a contrast to the stations on the London underground. We found Яросл 72;вский (Yaroslavsky) station, 4 and a half hours early as David obviously ensured that we didn't miss the train. So we stocked up at the local supermarket - bananas, dried fruit, nuts, cereal bars, noodles and obviously Vodka. Our backpacks on and laden with shopping we made our way up onto the second floor of the station's waiting room, eagerly watching the departure board for the platform of train 004, at 21:35 to Beijing.


THE JOURNEY

The first part of our journey was for us to travel to Ulaan Baatar in Mongolia, taking us approximately 101 hours (5 nights, 4 days) crossing 6306km of country, passing through the 5 different time zones. The train stops at stations en route every 4-6 hours, stopping anything from 2 minutes to no longer than 20-30 minutes, unless you are at the border where you are held like prisoners for 5 hours, briefly passing through many Russian towns and cities before the main highlight (on the 4th day) riding past Lake Baikal, the largest freshwater lake in the world, covering almost 400 miles through Siberia. It is engulfed by snow capped mountains and is a mind boggling 25 million years old and 1,700 meters deep.


THE TRAIN

Once it was confirmed, we made our way to platform 2 and watched our impressively long train pull in. Alongside us were other backpackers, holidaymakers, Chinese and Mongolian traders with endless amounts of boxes and luggage, Russian businessmen and various others from all walks of life.

We were in carriage 10, beds 9 and 10, pointed out to us by the Chinese attendant. As it was our honeymoon we decided to treat ourselves by plumping for First Class! Only the high life for us. A cabin exclusively to ourselves had such perks as a bunk bed, a window, a squeaky fan, our own temperamental plug socket, a small chair and a little wonky table. Plus check this - we were to get our own exclusive shower! Well...actually, apart from there being a plug hole in the floor, there was no actual shower...it was a sink...and it only had cold water...that just dribbled out of a tap...and we had to share it with next door. Oh yeah - a Jack and Jill en-suite sink room where we were to soon perfect the 'hand-cup' wash system. It was most definitely 4* luxury. The Wheelers live well.

At the end of each carriage was a coal powered samovar which supplied unlimited boiling water, and was maintained by the efficient Chinese attendants. At the other end there was a toilet that emptied directly onto the track below. It stunk.

We met one of the common folk later (third class). We spoke to him, as we didn't want to appear snobs (obviously keeping a watchful eye over his poor, grubby, thieving hands). He was travelling in a small four bed carriage (Kupe) with no window, no chair and only a sink in the stinky toilet to share between the whole carriage. Ha! How we pitied him.

Our fresh linen was delivered, so we quickly made our beds and stored our bags before we all stuck our heads out of the window to wave goodbye to Москв 72; (Moscow). The train slowly picked up the pace and before long we were meandering through lots of Russian industrial areas, no real scenic vistas at first, just a glimpse of the backbone of Russia and all it's meaty toughness.

At the beginning and for the majority of the trip there was a Russian restaurant car sat at the end of the train. The carriages are changed at borders dependant on the country of travel. The menu was over priced and the food was unappealing. The beer was also overpriced and also unappealing. The staff who ran the restaurant were also unappealing. Though it was a good place to meet fellow comrades who we were sharing this epic journey with.


THE PEOPLE

Olga - Chef, Barmaid and General Enforcer of the Restaurant Car

Olga had one face - stern. She did not smile. She has clearly worked on the train for a long time and although we are certain she will have met several hundred European travellers in her time who will have no doubt asked about beers or vodka or food, she has obviously made the decision a long time ago to only speak Russian and only communicate by showing you how much you owe on her trusty calculator. You do not cross Olga. One night we took some of the glasses from the restaurant back to our cabin, the next day Olga marched into our cabin gave us a very serious glare, a strict telling off in Russian and took the glasses back. Olga did the cooking. She liked cooking as this meant she could employ her multitasking skills by cooking and smoking her cigarette at the same time. Mmmmm ... stew with fag ash. Olga did not allow photographs in the carriage, so all photos taken have been done so in secrecy. The restaurant carriage also appeared to be Olga's bedroom and living room as when she was not cooking, smoking or telling someone off she was sleeping on one of the tables. At night she washed herself in the kitchen sink, put on her pink pyjamas and continued enforcing until midnight when she crossed her arms and told people to get out. We didn't particularly like Olga.


Boris - Barman, DJ, Head of Entertainment

Boris is Olga's husband (we think). It took two glances to realise that Boris was male. He wears strange clothes and practises a similar stern expression as Olga, along with similar attitudes to communication - the calculator. So much so that if you were to order something off the menu which had the price clearly next to it, and proceed to hold out the money needed, Boris would get out his calculator and type in the price to show you. He would then calculate your change and also show you this on the calculator. Even if you were to give him the exact amount of money required, he would proceed to do the calculation and then show you the 'zero' on his trusty calculator. It soon became a game. Boris also manned the stereo and entertainment in the restaurant. He showed Russian TV programmes from the bar, and also played Russian pop music from his stereo, turning the volume up if we were talk too loud, laugh or merely look like we were having fun - this clearly implied to us that this was actually his and Olga's living quarters/bedroom, and not the social room that we took it for. How silly of us.


The Strange Trolley Lady - Refreshment Provider

Every couple of hours, as you watch Russia pass by from the comfort of your 4* luxury cabin a little Russian lady would appear at your door, she had a trolley which carried 4 packets of salted peanuts, a bag of cheese crisps, 2 bottles of coca-cola and a couple of bags of sweets. She would ask/shout something in Russian and gesture to her fine selection of expensive out of date confectionery, to which we would politely shake our head - and off she would go. You could hear her doing this all the way down the carriage before she would reappear later, on her return having sold none of her items and looking somewhat frustrated.


The Chinese Staff - Security/Linen/Tickets/Carriage Attendants and Beer Suppliers

The Chinese run the show on the train itself. Your first meeting is when you get on the train and they very seriously ask where you are from before they take your ticket and point in the direction of the cabin. You would see them pottering up and down the carriage at all times of day and night. They dutifully ensured that the samovar was kept working and would do their best in keeping the toilets clean and working. Whenever we pulled into the stations they opened the doors, let down the steps and give the handles a wipe clean before the passengers emptied out onto the platform. They are great to watch on the platforms, joking with each other, inspecting all the fruit and veg on offer whilst also haggling for deals with the traders. After we left each station they would promptly come knocking on the doors and with a cheeky smile and a little chuckle they would hold up bottles of beer that are half the price of the beers in the restaurant car. If Olga, Boris or Strange Trolley Lady were on the move they would make a mad dash for it, hide and then slowly start reappearing again to carry on selling.

Apart from playing cards, watching TV, and smoking in the non-smoking areas, they would also go to great lengths to excite you about the Chinese food that is awaiting us at the end of the line in Beijing. They would meet up in empty cabins and using their own private kitchen they would cook up the most impressive feasts, allowing the delicious smell of fresh Chinese food to carry all the way down the corridors. Oh, how we couldn't wait to then start tucking into our instant chicken noodles or 3 cheese creamy pasta mug shot. The lengths they go to for these feasts is incredible, from making dumplings, to soups, to even making fresh bread! In a train cabin! They wouldn't allow us to take photos of these goings on though - they would probably more than likely get sacked.


Louis - Swiss Traveller Extraordinaire

Louis was a fellow traveller aboard the train. He is a Swiss 72 year old gentleman who has travelled to pretty much every country in the world. We didn't manage to find out about anywhere that he hadn't been too, or had some tale he enjoyed regaling us in. On his last trip, he bought a land rover in England and drove it across Russia to Vladivostok (9,289km - a very long way). He would happily tell anyone about this trip again and again. A kind, sweet man that you could not help but become fond of, even after he had told you the same story over and over again. Even after he had knocked on the door of our cabin at 11am asking if he could show us a couple of photos, and at 4pm (5 hours later) he was still with us. We viewed over 2000 photos of his driving exploits through Russia where he didn't just show a photo and move on, he explained the photo in great detail usually starting with 'I make picture of this because...' He also had an interesting sense of humour, he would tell you something that is clearly not true such as his age being 27 then he would slap his knee, cry out with laughter at his own joke before explaining "Ha ha! I pull your leg" we know Louis. But for all his quirks he looked after us, supplied us with vodka, and offered plenty of advice for all the stops we intend to make, you couldn't possibly not dislike the guy.

There were several other people we met along the way, including a group of extremely welcoming and friendly Irish travellers (as in Irish people who were travelling, not a group of Irish gypsies). Who obviously enjoyed a good drink, a laugh and were very generous by supplying us with a disused camera film container filled to the brim with salt and pepper in order for us to enhance the flavour of our dried goods; two Swedish lads who were on a round the world trip on a budget, they liked to sit in the restaurant car because it was cooler, but when Olga demanded they order something they would order and share 1 slice of bread with mayonnaise; an interesting English lad named Tim whose been on his travels for over a year and a half; a couple from Norway who like Vodka; a very tall German named Matt who as we have learnt up to now can speak fluent German, Russian, Mongolian and English; along with the rest of the travellers on the train who you become familiar with after passing them in the corridor several times a day.

The days were mostly spent relaxing (very much needed after the last few months), watching the vast country pass by the window, drinking lots of tea, eating plenty of dried snacks, looking forward to the next station, reading and of course sampling the Vodka. In the evening, everybody would usually meet up, be it a night in the restaurant drinking Boris and Olga's overpriced beers or at an impromptu vodka party where 12 of us managed to squeeze into a cabin built for 4 people, hosted by none other than Louis himself.


THE STATIONS

Every 4-6 hours the train would pull into a station. As it began to slow down there was an excitement that could be felt throughout the carriage as people started appearing from their cabins, putting on shoes and coats and getting ready to put feet on solid ground. Each station was unique in its own way, but at the same time exactly the same as the one before. Some would have one tiny shop with one worker and only sell the usual essentials - water, noodles and more noodles, others would have Russian gypsy girls begging and some would unfortunately have absolutely nothing. As stops were always the highlight of the day, if there was nothing to look at there would be many upset and disappointed passengers. But occasionally you got lucky. A few stations had street hawkers in the form of Russian housewives who provided all manner of home-baked food from smoked fish, to mince meat pasties, to roasted chicken legs, to caramel wafer things, to Russian meatballs, to just a simple apple. They didn't charge extortionate prices either, with everything being at local prices. It was a fun exchange as you bought enough food to feed the entire train for less money than would buy you a plate of beef and potatoes with a dusting of cigarette ash from Olga.

The scary bit about the station stops however was the fear of being left. Too many stories passed around the carriages of people being stranded in Siberia without a penny, passport or phone on them. At each stop you would therefore need to keep a careful eye on the Chinese attendants as all they did was simply wave when it was time to go. It was different at every stop, sometimes we would be there for 25 minutes, and other times 2 minutes. It was a risky game if you strayed too far away. The train waited for no man. There was no whistle, horn or any sound whatsoever, just a subtle wave.

There was some confusion one night when the train had stopped for what everybody thought should have been 23 minutes. Everyone piled off and spilled into the single shop that stood on the platform. Cramming in like tinned sardines to have a look at what was on offer. Our bodies were in desperate need of vitamins and minerals - nutrition was all we that we required. A couple of minutes passed and then it happened, word got out that the attendants had waved us back on the train. It was leaving. Leaving NOW. Panic ensued and everybody ran in all directions, fear rose amongst the crowd as the nightmare of being abandoned was becoming real, people banged into each other, men shouted and women screamed as everyone rushed in desperation to get back onto the train. It was every man for themselves. Children were thrown to the side. Save ourselves we thought. But, it was OK, everybody made it back, unharmed and unscathed. The stairs were pulled up and the doors were shut - relief flooded through the carriages as we all safely made our way to the confines of our cabins. Phew...we thought. That was far TOO close. However, 10 minutes passed and we were still sat in the same spot...strange. From the window, we could see the shop, standing all alone on the now silent, desolate platform, tempting us with it's variety of cooked meats and fresh fruit in the display fridge. Surely we must be setting off anytime soon...no, another 10 minutes passed and we were still grounded on the same spot. The shop now smirking, luring at us to get off again. But where were the attendants to ask if we could risk just 1 minute to hop off and buy some well needed fresh fruit and veg? Nobody knew. It was too late, no-one dared get off. 20 minutes later we then frustratingly chugged away from the station. Chattering soon began amongst the carriages and before long, word had started to spread that the Chinese attendants had waved us all back on so that they could simply get back to their feast of fine food that was being held in their private dining cabin. It had been freshly prepared and served literally just before arrival at the station. Who would want to eat freshly cooked vegetable stir-fry, hot and sour soup or chicken chow mein that was cold? It's obvious - nobody.

Dried apricots and stale bread it was for us then...


TIME TRAVEL

Now this was something that Claire and many other fellow travellers could not grasp. At all.

Due to the sheer size of Russia, and as you head further east you pass through 5 different time zones - but no matter where you are in the country, or where you are heading, all trains operate on Moscow time. You could wake up at 9am and arrive at a station at 10am Moscow time, yet as soon as you step onto the platform you are thrust forward to 2pm local time. Do you therefore have breakfast or lunch? This also meant that you could either be eating your lunch at 1:30pm local time, but the clocks display 8:30am Moscow time, or you could be setting your alarm at 1am to ensure that you didn't miss your stop at 6am local time. Combine all this alongside the days getting shorter and shorter, the lack of sleep due to the constant shrieking and breaking of the train, and also not forgetting to mention the automatic update of local times on the iPhone, meaning you had to convert constantly back to Moscow time led to increased confusion and disorientation.


THE FOOD

There were three main options for food on the Trans-Siberian express:

1. Pre bought Noodles and snacks.

Noodles are a staple diet throughout the journey and the two of us got through several packets, occasionally spicing things up with a 3 cheese creamy pasta mug shot if we were feeling particularly exotic.

2. The Restaurant.

We ate at the restaurant once. It was ok. Nothing too exciting but the thought of spending a lot of money for Olga to drop fag ash into your side salad was a bit off putting.

Money was also a big factor. We spoke to a couple who dared to order something not from the menu. They asked for 2 fried eggs, bread, and 2 coffees. Olga charged them over £15 for this. Lesson learned - don't stray from the menu.

3. Food from the platform.

Now this was extreme food roulette. You weren't just guessing the foods, you were second guessing the cooks - which one not only looked like they would have a clean kitchen, but also washed their hands etc.

The Good Stuff - The chicken. You can't go wrong with chicken legs. Some were marinated in various spices and all in all apart from being pink in the middle, were quite tasty.
The caramel wafer things. A sweet waffle wrapped around a load of sweet gooey, caramel. Again can't go wrong.

The Decent Stuff - Meatballs, meatball dumplings, meatball pasties, hotdogs baked in bread, cottage cheese pancakes (surprisingly tasty), fresh fruit and fresh salad.

The Bad Stuff - Only one item made it onto the bad stuff. And it was bad. Real bad. It was disguised as a sweet bread or possibly a soft biscuit type thing. They were sold in threes. David craved sweet biscuits so hurriedly bought three of them and took no time in trying it out. Now imagine biting into something expecting sweet sugary caramel goodness, but what you actually get is soggy, fishy horridness and when looking down you see sandwiched inside your bread millions of tiny fish eggs. It was fish egg bread. Later translated by a Russian as bread with fish children. Unpleasant is an understatement!



On a whole, the trip has certainly been epic. At times it was monotonous, and tiring looking out at the endless view of trees passing by the window, desperate for a break or a chance to stretch your legs even if it is only for a few minutes on solid ground at the station. Then there are the moments, after you have had no sleep due to the Norwegian couple next door blasting out Gaelic music until sunrise, but when you look out of the window in the morning and you get your first glimpse of the sun breaking out over of Lake Baikal it really does put it into perspective that this really is a once in a lifetime experience.

It soon becomes a part of the journey as you get used to the creaking round the corners and bends and the constant shaking and juddering. You become a team, smiling and nodding at the same faces you have been looking at when stopping at each station, each one of us growing a little more tired, bags start appearing under eyes and weariness sets in. But yet, even though you have been riding this slow beast of a train (which definitely has no resemblance to anything 'express') for going on a hundred hours, it doesn't become a relief to be nearly at the end as you'd expect. It's almost a sadness, knowing you'll be getting off soon and saying goodbye to your fellow journeymen; no more waking up in the middle of the night nearly being catapulted from your bed as a corner is turned; no more getting over excited about a new flavour of instant noodles; no more stale urine smells lingering down the carriage from the toilets; no more Louis. We almost wished we could stay on the train for the return journey to experience it all again. But we didn't think that Olga would allow it.



Things we have learned:

1. The Swiss do invade- Louis clearly invaded our cabin and took up occupation there for a long time
2. Food roulette is dangerous
3. There are a lot of trees in Russia


Dave's Transport stats so far:
Planes used - 1
Buses used - 1
Trains used - 2 (+1)
Metros used - 1