The tour of New Zealand is coming to an end, so we're starting to pack in everything we wanted to do here...which is kinda mental. No fear, still time for a blog update....brace yourself cause its a biggy! Suze left you in Franz Josef, the first glacier. Lovely place, but pricey to do ice climbing, so we packed up our shell (like tortoises we are, moving with our home on our back), refilled the radiator (the leak was getting stupid now, every 50km or so I was unscrewing the steaming water cap and pumping 2 litres of water in through old water bottles) and made tracks for Fox Glacier up the road. No sooner had we arrived in the, erm, very sleepy and almost desolute town of Fox Glacier, we'd booked our ice climbing trip for the following day...then started praying for good weather. Its grating on you after a while, the constant rain and cold, and the weather didn't fail us here either...rain. Coffee shops have never been so inviting, but I won't go all spoilt brat here..as rain will pass. It did, thank god, the following day..and we rose to sun and clear blue skys. The company Fox Guides took us by minibus to the carpark at the terminus of the glacier (posh word for the front) and we saddled up in rubber rainproof pants that got us nice and sweaty, and headed off for the glacier. Due to falling ice, you can only access the glacier from the side, so we scrambled up the rugged slopes and over an hour later we slipped and slid on the beast itself. Crampons look stupid, but by god they work. You work those thighs (we need to!) getting from A to B in a stomping motion, but that we did and before long we were literally owning that glacier. The guide took us over bluffs, into ice caves, and beyond..and it was worth every penny. The rain hit us at the end, but by then we were happy, exhausted and already soaked, so laughed it off. We were starting to experience the hard hitting weather out here, and by the next day we were already weighing up whether we could even get to Wanaka, our next stop. The Haast Pass was closed due to severe snow, so we took our chances and ventured south in the hope that the snow ploughs had done their job. Otherwise, it was a good 2 day drive round via the Arthers Pass...which was also getting its fair share of white stuff. Talk about making it tricky! Luckily, the pass was opening as we hit Haast later that morning. Snow chains. The bain of my life. I got the b*****s on mind, I will not be defeated by chains of all things, and before long we were reaching breakneck speeds of..erm...20kph, slicing through a winter wonderland. Scary, and magical in equal measure. We came out the other side alive and arrived at Wanaka in need of food (god bless the rib shack on the main street!!!) and more importantly...ski gear. That evening, we cracked open the bubbly for Sarah and Phils wedding celebrations. It was a little glum, as the realisation of not being there hit us. We knocked back the bottle of Montana's finest bubbly stuff, hit the town for a slap up meal of fish and chips, then a few pints...but were back in bed by 11pm. The real celebrating will happen when we return home. Be warned. It takes a day to get all your ski stuff sorted, so post that we mooched and took in some of Wanaka's sights. Puzzling World was a good shout, an idea put up by the Shaws. After attempting to conquer the Great Maze and marvel at the various optical illusions where photos just won't work I'm afraid, we took various ridculous pics and decided to catch up on some cinema...our library of s*** films starting to look a little depleted in the van. The Cinema Paridiso in Wanaka is a barmy place. The cinema itself is a shed like construction bolted onto a cafe where the air is thick with the smell of freshly baked cookies and homemade popcorn. You sit in sofas, the type you find dumped on the corner of streets, or maybe the old Morris Minor thats been painted and turned into a seating gallery. We arrived when the gaggle of kids, fresh for the holidays over here, had decided to turn up at the same time as us to watch Transformers 2. Look, we're not high brow cinema goers here. The burly/insane scottish owner gave the littleuns at the front a stern talking to before the screens flickered into life (with some god awful local advertisers plying their trade on what appears like a couple of pence in prodcution values) and thankfully Megan Fox wearing b***** all was enough to keep the pre-ado's quiet for the duration of the movie. I thought it was pretty average...my god whats happeneing to me... Thankfully, the next day was glorious sunshine....unlike Suze's face when I decided we should tackle the road to the top in snow chains and not wait for the shuttle. Sorry the wife. We got to base in one piece (again) and strapped up. Skiing in this part of the world is very expensive. It was near on 150+ quid each for us to do just the one day. And you see why when you get to the solitary lift. Treble Cone is the largest ski field and steepest in New Zealand. The runs all come off the one lift, a smaller one west of the base takes you to the black runs. We had a blast tearing up the powder, and had a wobble tearing up..or trying to, the ungroomed blacks to the west. I had to readjust to long ski's...missing my gay short ones terribly, took a tumble at first, but then we're not used to skiing through snow up to our knees back home..ungroomed. It was a one off event I think, the fact we can say we skied in New Zealand being enough, and the views were something to behold over Lake Wanaka. Time to move on. En route to Queenstown, we stopped off at Arrowtown. Really loved this place, quaint old settlement, bygone era of the goldmining days with all the shops fitted with the original facades. Suze got her fudge quota from Ye Olde Sweet Shop, I got an awesome curried beef pie from the local cafe (lard arse), and we wandered along the river. Spods know this river as the place were Arwen, the Elf Princess, carried Frodo by horseback away from the evil horseman of Mordor...whispering a spell at the ford to sweep them away in the stream itself. I got all that off Google, not being a spod myself. That would be sad. Queenstown was a none event really, but we needed to change over the van for one that works (Jucy are not my favourite people) and saddle up for the Caitlins Coast. The town itself is like the backpacker resort to hang out in, bars,bars, takeaways, bars, neon lights and ski shops for those taking on the Remarkables ski field (not us, had it with slopes over here...tame). We found "Buffalos" for a beer, the loudest night spot, got ID'd which was nice, had the one pint, slept in unbelieveably expensive campsite surrounded by baying backpackers in campervans, moved swiftly on to the Caitlins coast. Caitlins is desolate. I mean, barren, a little bleak, but also devoid of human life. I counted more seals on the coastal colonies than I did cars! We took some dodgy roads upto Nugget Point, painting the van a shade of mud en route, and got a right treat on Cannibal Bay. A couple of sealions, man and wife, sitting there having a snooze. Can't believe we got that close to these creatures in the wild, but kept our distance cause these things 1) shift quicker than our poxy van and 2) hard as nails and will show it. Still, watching them afar was worth the visit here alone...but as the rain clouds rolled in, we thought about making tracks for Dunedin, north. The books describe Dunedin as a scottish settlement, resplendent in tartan and castles. We counted one castle (rip off to get in!) and very little tartan, but we're getting tired of being on the road so took a "mooch" day. Some internet hammering, a nice lunch at Capers Cafe, the farmers market...just a time to rest. We get attracted to log fires and cosy pubs like bees to honey, and whiled away some hours over Macs Ale and firelight before heading to bed and making plans for the barmiest idea yet. However, en route to the next mad venture, we dropped in on the Moeraki Boulders...huge bizarre perfect spheres sitting in the beach. Lots of opps for comical photos, gladly siezed, but the rain quashed things a little. Its been raining a lot lately, and we were hoping it'll lift as we headed for Middlemarch and Otago Rail country. The Otago Rail Track has long been ripped up, but that doesn't stop hoards of people cycling the route in the summer months from Clyde to Middlemarch over 3 days. Only clowns would do it in winter. We are clowns. At Middlemarch, we hired bikes and made arrangements to tackle some the route...about 38km from Daisybank down to Middlemarch. We awoke the next day...the only people on the campsite of course, to thick frost and fog. Utter madness..and my toes were frozen. Our bikeman duely dropped us off in Daisybank..my toes now blocks of ice, with our bikes (snazzy ones at that..but not much demand at the moment..us two being the only ones on the route that day!) and even offered us another coat cause by god it was freezing...literally. The frost was like an inch thick! However, we took off with abandon, creaking over frozen puddles and crunchy mud. The views as the sun peaked through were unbelievable...I hope the camera does it some justice. My toes had given up by now and had entered some hibernation state, awoken only by log fires or hot bath. The trail is flat, but the ground soon melts and becomes sludgy, making it really tough. We made it mind, all 38 km in about 6 hours...but my wife is barely walking and we only just cheated frostbite. What an experience...if Lance can do it, so can we. Suze has said a firm no to a bike when we get home....I tried. And here we are....in Dunedin again. Our van broke down...last night as we crawled back from Middlemarch...desperate for a hot shower and food after our 38km slog. We decamped to a motel for the first time (tow truck was as lifesaver), ensuite shower being the only remedy for our aches and pains, and a thai feast from the local takeaway, but I'm tapping this out from a cybercafe (surrounded my cyber nerds on World of Warcraft) waiting for our new van to arrive....from Queenstown!! Think I've had it with Jucy....they've driven me to book our flights to Argentina this Thursday, so we'll make our way up the country tonight to Christchurch for one last hurrah in New Zealand before binning the van and bidding this country farewell. We're back home on the 10th August now..ready for new things and oddly excited at the prospect. So, until Beunos Aires...so long and "adios" Much love Mike and Suze x p.s. Yes, my hands are frozen so live the spelling mistakes and bad english...