Oooh we're very naughty backpackers. It's been so long since either of us has updated this blog thingy, that i'd actually forgotten what our password was - luckily Mike has a better memory than me, or this latest dazzling entry just wouldn't be happening. In fact, my work-starved memory has seriously turned to mush, and i've even forgotten what the pin number is for my credit card - if anyone has any ideas what it may be, please do let me know!

Anyhoo, apologies for the seriously rubbish silence - and i'm ashamed to admit that since we last updated this, we've left Australia, have been to Fiji and are now in New Zealand. Double oops. I'll try to fill you in on what we've been up to, so this might be a lengthy entry...

So, we left Hervey Bay in yet another torrential downpour, and headed for Noosa, which is a lovely posh town. In fact, we practically had to remortgage our campervan in order to stop for a cup of tea, as the 'high street' is really a very nice spot for lunching ladies. 'Pah! b***** the budget' we shouted, as we headed for the nearest tearooms, and tried our hardest to blend in with the Gucci girls and their wealthy sugar daddies. Thoroughly refreshed, we headed onto a bookshop so that Mike could indulge his latest passion for reading (I know, I know, that's a sentence I never thought i'd write - please pick yourselves up off the floor) where we once again handed out oodles of money for a book he later proclaimed to be the most depressingly bleak story he's ever set his eyes on. Several squid lighter, we then headed to the local campsite, where we paid $27 for the privilege of parking our van in a parking space overnight, as the owners had run out of camping pitches. The couple who run this place are practically printing money - humph. The long and short of it is this - Noosa is lovely and a very nice place to stop, but it put a considerable dent in our bank account. Ah well, onto the next stop...

Having been assured that Australia was a country of 'big things', we set off in search of the giant macadamia nut, and the big pineapple - the later has just been awarded World Heritage status, so we thought it'd be a sight to behold. Bearing in mind that the nut is 10 metres high, and the pineapple is 20 metres high, we thought they'd be easy to spot - we were wrong. We searched high and low, and nearly an hour later, we eventually stumbled across the pineapple which is mighty grubby and in need of a seriously good wash. Being the comedy geniuses that we are, we posed for some suitably stupid 'Agadoo' pictures - I pushed the pineapple, while Mike shook a tree. Outstandingly funny, i'm sure you'll agree. By then we'd had our comedy fix, so we gave up on searching for the nut - we were never going to crack it (sorry, i'll stop now) and we headed for Eumundi for the famous markets. These were fab and they sell everything from boomerangs to money pouches made out of kangaroo testicles (ouch), though i'm pleased to report that Mike and I limited ourselves to some homemade fudge and a large bag of passion fruits. A quick stop-off for some tea and scones, and we were back on the road, searching for another 'famous' tourist site - a car embedded in the roof of a local pub. Now either Mike and I need glasses, or this simply doesn't exist - once again we searched high and low, but the blummin thing couldn't be found. Thoroughly disheartened, we headed for the local ginger factory where we learnt about how ginger grows, how it's prepared, and how it's much nicer than the stuff that the Chinese grown - our tour guide clearly wasn't biased in any way, shape or form. Masterchef Mike was very excited to take part in the tasting session, and we enjoyed ginger and BBQ sauce (yummy) meatballs made with ginger (iffy) and ginger flavoured sour cream on ginger biscuits (diiiiisgusting!) Our final stop of the day was Montville, a lovely boutique type town that's oozing with dinky tea-shops and cute gift shops, though funnily enough Mike timed it so that they'd all shut by the time we'd parked up. We retreated back to our campiste in Palm Woods, where I had a thoroughly traumatic experience by disturbing a large cluster of tree ants in the shower blocks - cue lots of screaming from me, and a few nightmares since. I hate the bloody Australian bugs. Grumble, grumble.

The next day was a darn sight cooler, so Mike and I ambled around the Glasshouse Mountains in the 'Hinterlands', exploring the local tea shops and walking the tracks around the national park. Once again my bug-related-issues nearly got the better of me when I came across a school teacher showing his class a funnel web spider, though bearing in mind the 10-year-olds were completely chilled out, I didn't think it'd be appropriate to run from the scene, screeching like a banshee. I'm terribly dignified after all. A very mature 30-something lady. I'm cool as a friggin cucumber. So I legged it very quietly, dragging a deeply amused Mike behind me. It took a lot of tea, and some cake too, to get over that incident. First the tree ants, then the spiders. Enough already. You'd think that Mike would be ready to treat his traumatised wife to some TLC by then, but unfortunately for me he'd already got his beady eye on a very basic place to stop for the night - the local showground in Maleny. At a bargain price of less than 7 quid, he'd already got us signed up. As I showered with the spiders in the shed that night, I was seriously questioning our marriage...

The next day involved lots of dull, dull, dull driving, so I won't bored you too much with it. Suffice to say that we drove to Brisbane, hated it, so carried on. We then took a truly rubbish 'tourist drive' around the region, which was basically the A-Z of residential streets. Snore. By the time we arrived in Surfer's Paradise that evening, we'd decided to treat ourselves to a proper hotel room - something with a TV and even our own bathroom - it's amazing how simple our deepest desires have become! Unfortunately for us, Surfer's is massively overpriced, and we quickly realised that a hostel was more realistic. However, after viewing a room that had dirty sheets, stank of curry and was missing one of the curtains, we hotfooted it back to our trusty campervan and headed to the campsite by the main beach. And once again, I whooped Mike's ass at Scrabble. Ok, that last bit is a lie - he whopped me. Again. I swear he's cheating, how can a journalist be THAT bad at one piddly little game?!

After all the driving the day before, we opted to take an easy day mooching around the beach. It was blummin hot - enough to frazzle yours truly - and the place was absolutely heaving. As the crowds got bigger, we quickly rethought our plans and hopped back in the van. SP has beautiful beaches, but in the daylight it's very garish and over-developed. Besides which, our Aussie pals Sal and Rob had told us great things about Byron Bay, so once again we hit the roads and bombed down to BB - and it was heaven! There's a lovely hippie vibe, and it's ultra laid back - a stark contrast to the scarily glammed-up girls of Surfer's Paradise (my backpacker garb just didn't cut the mustard and without a boob job, you just don't fit in - show me to the surgeon). Anyhoo, we loved Byron Bay just a little too much - judging by our sore heads the next morning. We'd already decided to stay an extra night, so we mooched around the coffee shops, did some laundry (oh the glam life we lead) and then headed to the cinema to see Star Trek - oh yes, I was turned to the dark side by Mike. Allowing for the large number of explosions and chase scenes, he loved it and declared it to be one of the best films of the year. I quite fancied the young captain Kirk, so I have to agree that it's a good bit of entertaining piffle.

We woke up the following morning to two depressing facts - firstly, the glorious summer weather had deserted us, and it was belting with rain (apparently the town was flooded later that day, and lots of people got stranded.) Secondly, a cut on my foot which Mike had been treating and dressing had somehow got much, much worse overnight, and I could no longer fit my shoes on. What a pain in the backside (or should that be foot?! Golly, the jokes are just coming thick and fast today!) so we ended up going to the doctor, then paying for some expensive pathology tests to be done. I was limping like a right wally, so unfortunately my foot got in the way of having any fun over the next few days. On doctor's orders, I had my foot raised on the dashboard for the entire journey back to Sydney, so poor Mike had to do all the driving, including negotiating the scary narrow lanes and road-rage drivers - there's lots of 'em in Sydney!

We eventually arrived back at Annette and John's house (where we'd first started our Aussie adventure 9 weeks earlier) and crashed out for the next few days. It was lovely to be back - a bit like coming home - as they've always made us so welcome and their house is divine. Mike and I defintely want to live somewhere like here when we grow up. Once again the rain was coming down in sheets, so we spent the first couple of days mooching around and allowing my foot to heal. The antibiotics were finally kicking in, but it meant I missed out on some of the wine tasting that Mike and John were doing - pants! The boys and I went to see Angels and Demons at the flicks, which was considerably better than the Da Vinci Code, and an amusing way to spenda few hours. Mike and John also had a bash at some snooker, though judging by their dodgy skills, I can safely say that Steve Davis hasn't got anything to worry about. Annette and John also took us to see a rugby league match, which was fab - despite the crappy weather (oh yes, my afro was back in full force) and Mike's dribbling over the cheerleaders. In fairness, those rugby players are really quite tasty, so he's allowed to look at the pom-pom wagglers.

Annette and John finally dropped us at the airport on Wednesday, and we both felt very sad saying goodbye to them and Oz. We've had a blast - from getting sloshed with Martin in Melbourne, to the Grand Prix, from Aussie Rules football games to Rugby League clashes, from Ayers Rock to the Sydney Opera House, from wild kangaroos to even wilder dingoes, from the Great Ocean Road to white sand beaches, it's all been fab.

I suppose I should now tell you about Fiji and our first day in NZ, but it's getting late and I don't want our latest campervan to get a parking ticket. Mike is currently sitting next to me sending a grumpy email to the owners about it's various leaks and creaks, but i'm sure he'll fill you all in on that in the next entry. So on that note I shall say ta-ta for now, and one of us will be back in the next few days to fill you in on our adventures on Robinson Crusoe Island, and Auckland. Enjoy the heat back home, as it's blummin freezing here!

Much love to everyone and big sloppy kisses too xxx

ps - congratulations to Annabelle on standing up on her own for the first time. I'm a very proud auntie!

pps - Phil, I hope the boys were gentle with you on your stag do... we await the piccies!