Prior to arriving on the alcohol fuelled island of immorality, I was dubious as to how many of our antics on Koh Phangan would be blog appropriate. And therefore, I suggest parents and definitely grandparents, give this one a miss. Obviously from that, I know my parents will read with attention second to none, but perhaps will have the sense to spare grandparents the shock and hopefully the horror too.

Heading to Koh Phangan with my mother's echoings of 'don't be silly; you have so much to live for' after having foolishly watched the recent documentary on the monthly full moon parties in Thailand, I racked up the hours on my longest door-to-door journey yet on 21 hour long bus and boat combo notorious for tourists being robbed on. It's almost scary how unphased you can get about spending nearly an entire day travelling; I'm entirely prepared for the distances involved when travelling around Australia. Thankfully no robberies either, though it wasn't a complete breeze - I managed to get burnt to a crisp during my three hours sat on the deck of the boat whilst on the last leg of my journey. So English.

The best thing about Koh Phangan was that Alli, Stef, Emily, Jen and Brett were meeting me there for a holiday, appropriately timed for the Full Moon Party and also ideally, my birthday. Pouring with sweat (and thus realising this was the furthest South I'd been so far on my trip), lugging my backpack, day pack and dragging the most ridiculous little suitcase with the most ridiculous purchases to be sent home with the girls, I finally reached the hotel they are staying at - which is, sod's law, on a hill. But it's beyond worth the sweltering long journey to see my friends again. With some amazing luck, the hotel the girls (plus of course honourary girl Brett) are staying in have unadvertised fan bungalows just in my price range and there's one left. I have my own room for the first time in nearly three months, and yes it smells pretty musty and is boiling hot but it has an amazing sunset view from the balcony, complete with hammock. Happy days.

The next couple of nights are spent down on Haad Rin beach, warming up for the Full Moon Party on the 18th. The place is absolutely crazy with thousands of people looking for a good time,
buckets of Sangsom, coke and M150 in hand, debating whether it's a good idea to try their hand at fire breathing, fire limbo, fire skipping rope or for the real mentalists, all three. We met up with a friend of Jen's, Rooney, and his friend/wife/mum Dave, who both quickly became a part of the furniture.

The girls made a real effort on the 17th to make my birthday feel as birthday like as possible with a Thai champagne reception on Alli and Brett's balcony complete with sparklers and lots of brightly coloured balloons. The ripe old age of 23 was celebrated by accidentally staying up until dawn, something I wasn't counting on doing two nights in a row (unquestionable that this would be our aim for full moon party). Another great birthday.

The 18th was spent sleeping and trying to get over our hangovers in the daytime, and then spending at least three hours painting each other with flurorescent body paint, adorning our bodies with various patterns, quotes, crude drawings and messages. I allowed myself to be attacked by Alli, who it should be known has zero artistic flair and imagination. Half my body looked like it had been decorated by a five year old (the other half remaining lobster red), whilst everyone else successfully avoided Alli and her eager paintbrush. But someone's got to entertain the kid.

We made it down to the beach at around midnight. The previous two nights can't even be compared to Full Moon - the scale of the party was duplicated twenty times over: the beach packed with thousands of extra fluro covered partygoers from neighbouring islands Koh Samui and Koh Tao joining the fun, and people already passing out and being carried away from the beach by other drunk revellers. A particular highlight of the night comes when one guy approaches Jen to ask advice on finding his friend. A conversation that goes a little something like this:

Drunk Guy: 'Do you know where Coconut bar is?'
Jen: 'Afraid not, don't think there is one...but there's a Coconut Villas if that's what you mean?'
Drunk Guy: 'No no definitely a bar. s***, my friend's been waiting for me for hours there. Well do you know where the airport is?'
Jen: 'Errr the airport is on Koh Samui. Mate...this is Koh Phangan'
Drunk Guy: 'Fuuuuuuuccccckkkk'

A couple of our group had also watched the now infamous documentary about Haad Rin's full moon parties, and after discussing the show, it became evident that it was a massive achievement that our group avoided premature death and only hobbled away with a large gash in a big toe. Rooney was the said victim, having spotted the big shard of glass sticking out of the sand near his foot as he competed in the fire skipping rope contest, but not moving out of the way or stopping jumping because he 'didn't want to lose'. Convincing him that it was probably a good idea to get it checked out and clean it up seeing as blood was staining the sand quite heavily, we turned around to find we were conveniently located next to a clinic. I say 'clinic', I mean 'small room with a red cross slapped on the door'. Once inside and sat down with his foot dripping blood into a bucket, he demands Dave is found because Dave has all his money. Eventually I find Dave, who is panicked like a mother would be and runs into the clinic only for Rooney to forget all about money and exclaim, 'Mate! Where's my bucket?' Never say anyone's priorities on Koh Phangan aren't as they should be. After getting cleaned up and bandaged complete with attractive plastic bag accessory for Rooney's foot, we carried on with the night, only to be welcomed back to the party by an enthusiastic couple having sex standing up in the middle of the dancefloor about three metres away from us. Koh Phangan = nothing but class.

A couple of hours later the sun began to rise, and we waded into the sea to take it all in in our happy intoxicated state, a wall of dancing people lined up on the beach behind us doing the international dance moves to 'We Speak No Americano' with vigour. Having heard about an after party kicking off on the beach our hotel overlooks at 7.30am, we headed back to ours to prepare ourselves, disgustingly with buckets still in hand. Looking down to the beach and seeing that the after party was not yet happening, we hit the pool. This was not satisfactory for some. I have never seen anyone so passionate about attending an after party than Jen on this occasion. So determined was she that whilst the rest of us eased into our M150 comedowns in the pool for a couple of hours, Jen traipsed off to find the afterparty with waterproof video camera in hand to record the happenings as evidence. Such determination was not unrewarded and she partied at the after party, people demanding to know what she was on and where they could get a fix. Little did they know she was merely high on after party joy.

After three nights of heavy antics on Haad Rin, we took it easy for the next couple of nights and took a chilled day trip to a waterfall and a beautiful beach on the North of the island - Bottle beach. Alli and Brett were moving on to continue their holiday in Cambodia, whilst the remainder of us hopped along to Koh Tao to continue the beach time and to enjoy the watersports. Full Moon Party April 2011 is easily one of the best nights I've ever had, and no doubt the main reasoning behind this was the company, who will make eventually returning home back to Blighty a doddle. As long as there's an after party.