Right. Welcome to the meeting. My name is Gwain. I’m chairperson of the Committee. The only outstanding item from the last meeting has to do with the poor quality of thatching in the past month. Now everyone knows that our master thatcher is on holidays and his apprentice is trying really hard. He’s a good lad but he’s as dumb as a bag of stone hammers and he likes his mead. So let’s cut him some slack until his boss gets back. Okay?

Now for the main item of new business. We have a building proposal from a Mr Olaf Henge. Olaf, are you here. Good, now he wants the committee to embark on a thousand year project first building a big chalk circle out on the plain overlooking the river. This circle will be aligned with the summer and winter solstices, and will be used to bury and honour the significant dead of the community. This includes processional avenues into the circle and down to the river.

The second phase of the project involves erecting large stone slabs in the circle to further highlight the the afore stated solstices. As you all know solstices are important for us pagans not only for indicating major seasonal change but also as an excuse for feasting and drinking. Now, this second stage gets a bit tricky here, doesn’t it Olaf. Now our folk have been putting up big standing stones for many years, but we’d just find a big stone nearby, get some drink into us, and stand it up. The stone for the large slabs for this project are about 30 miles away. Then after we get the stones here we have to cut them into smooth sides before standing them up. Furthermore, we need some smaller but significantly heavy blue stones from Wales about 150 miles away. I think we’d all agree that blue stones are good to have around for their healthy vibes. Are you sure about this, Olaf? Okay, but it seems like a lot of work. Anyway phase 2 is not scheduled to begin for 500 years so we’ll leave that for now.

Olaf ends the proposal by stating that this project will not only be a burial place, astronomical observatory and ceremonial site, but it will also be a lasting tribute to our scientific, engineering and organisational expertise. This site will last thousands of years and be a marvel to future generations. Very well stated, Olaf.

There is a footnote here that states all committee members and their families and descendants have free burial at the site with full festive rites. Sounds good to me. All in favour say aye. Opposed, no. Motion carries unanimously.

Now, Olaf didn’t suggest a name for this project, but If I may be so bold I’d like to propose that we name the place after Olaf, and because this monument will eventually encompass a circle of massive stones we shall call it Stonehenge. All in favour say aye. Opposed, no. Motion carries unanimously.

Now, if there is no other business the meeting is adjourned and please join us for mead and groat cakes.

[Sorry. no mention of Druids. They didn’t appear for at least 2000 years in the first millennium BCE.]

16 September 2018

The above was inspired by a visit to Stonehenge and the excellent audio commentary provided by English Heritage for this site. There is still a lot of mystery about Stonehenge. Only about half the site has been excavated. You are not allowed to walk among the stones anymore due to the fragile archaeology under the the ground. Cath seems to remember touching the stones when she visited in 1986.

What struck me about Stonehenge is the organisational expertise that was needed over a thousand year period to build the site, move the stones over sometimes hundreds of miles, cut the stones, erect the stones, and house and feed hundreds of workers. Perhaps it wasn’t the Salisbury Plain Building Committee that governed the project, but there had to be its Neolithic equivalent 5000 years ago to begin building such a monumental site.