The coach party is staying overnight at the Ramada Inn in Concord, which, according to our rep, is one of the best hotels in the area - but then, he would presumably tell us whatever he thought we wanted to hear anyway, wouldn't he? I'm no expert in these matters, but I'm guessing that any tour rep who starts a tour by introducing himself to his group and saying "Right, well the hotel we're staying in tonight isn't very good - but hey, what are you going to do?" isn't going to stay in the business for very long.

To be fair, though, the hotel was excellent and none of us were disappointed - except, of course, for that one person who turns up on every coach trip in order to complain about everything, of which we are spoilt with two on this occasion. When we arrived, the Ramada had even laid on a snack buffet for us in reception and we were able to stand around introducing ourselves to each other while nibbling away and totally spoiling our appetite for dinner later - but, to be honest, we'd been on the road all day and were just dying for something to eat, so we pretty much emptied the table before looking around for more.

There is a large heated swimming pool on the lower level, along with a sauna and Jacuzzi - so, after stuffing our faces, most of us went straight up to our rooms, changed, and headed down to the spa for a swim before dinner. A large sign by the Jacuzzi warns visitors not to spend more than ten minutes sitting in it unless they want to come out with their skin flapping off, but I've never been one to take much notice of anyone trying to stop me relaxing so I climbed out after steaming for some time in the boiling water looking a little like an overcooked lobster. Moving to the normal swimming pool, I jumped in and watched the water level go down somewhat as it all turned to steam, and then discovered that the best way to dry off was to cheat and sit in the sauna for a couple of minutes. Well, what's the point of going on holiday if you can't be lazy once in a while? As you might have gathered, not many of us have seen much of Concord in the short time we've had here.

At dinner tonight, forms were handed around so that we could sign up for various optional excursions which are to take place over the next couple of weeks. This is something else which the organisers of coach trips take great pleasure in doing - after having already separated you from a large chunk of cash just for the pleasure of going on the trip in the first place, they then wait until you arrive before mentioning that there are a huge number of things that you'll want to do that you have to pay extra for. Sometimes, you can turn up on a tour and find that the money you've already paid has really only allowed you to sit on the coach and stay at the hotels - if you want to actually get off the coach and see anything, then that's going to cost you extra. Naturally, I signed up for most of the excursions as I don't want to be the only person left on the coach, face pressed up against the glass, watching everyone else having enormous amounts of fun without me. Returning the form to our rep, I made my way over to the hotel bar for the rest of the evening where I found the place packed out with people from a wedding reception in an adjoining room. Sitting at the bar and chatting with both members of the wedding party and locals - the Ramada bar seems to be a popular destination in Concord - I learnt a lot about what I can expect from the coming days. I eventually decided to call it a day when, after spending fifteen minutes or so having a conversation with someone who seemed like a decent local chap with an in depth knowledge of the north-eastern United States, he paused for just long enough for me to fill my mouth with drink so I would have something to projectile spit across the room, before asking: "So, do British women screw well?

About Simon and Burfords Travels:

Simon Burford is a UK based travel writer. He will be re-publishing his travel blogs, chapters from his books and other miscellaneous rantings on these pages over the coming weeks and months, and the entry on this page may not necessarily reflect todays date.