Not only had I managed to get us upgraded to a hill villa - something we would only have been able to afford when booking if we had sold our souls to the travel devil - but we could go straight away. Luckily, we hadn't actually got around to unpacking yet as the pull of the resort had been too strong and we had literally dumped everything we had and gone out exploring the moment we arrived. Collecting our bags from where we had left them - luckily, the monkey had...

You may have seen places such as the Pangkor Laut Resort on television travel shows, the ones where the scripts are so far removed from reality that you'd need cupboards stuffed with banknotes and clothes weaved from gold in order to visit any of the destinations they suggest. It's the sort of place you go on your honeymoon, or after you've won the lottery, or when you receive Richard Branson's credit card in the mail by accident. It's quite expensive, I think is...