With all the walking I've been doing over the last couple of days and all the weight that must've literally fallen off me (by which I do, of course, mean figuratively before all you grammar heads start sending me postcards), I think I'll be ready to enter Mr Universe when I get back home. Stop sniggering at the back, I realise I made an innuendo. It's what people want, and if people insist on an innuendo or two, I will certainly bend over backwards to give them o...

Have arrived safely in Riomaggiore in the Cinque Terre. First impressions are positive, but I shall have photos tomorrow. After walking all the way up a cliff (I'm not kidding, look the Cinque Terre up on Google) wearing my backpack, getting to the hotel reception and being told that my room was at the bottom back near the station, and then being further told that I am on the top floor of a rickety building with rickety steps, I'm just going to sit in the shower ...