Today I had booked a tour to take me across the island to the Polynesian Cultural Centre in La'ie on the northern coast of Oahu, not wanting to spend my entire stay here browsing shops and lying on the beach. Back in the sixties, the island of Oahu was hit by a huge unemployment problem and thousands of bright young students were coming out of the Hawaiian campus of BYU (Brigham Young University) with no jobs to go into. To help solve this problem, the island spent a fortune - financed mainly by the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, or The Mormons to you and me - on building the Polynesian Cultural Centre in Laie on the north side of Oahu. The idea was that it would create thousands of on-going jobs for the students and Graduates. Naturally, being sceptical by nature, the press said that it would never work and universally condemned the plan as hare-brained. Now, twenty-five years on, the Polynesian Cultural Centre is the single biggest tourist attraction on the island - big surprise there, then. This is how the official guide describes the Centre with typical American flair:

Adventurous Polynesians, braving the winds and seas in search of faraway islands, arrived in Hawaii more than a thousand years ago. Today, millions journey to Hawaii to experience the adventure and beauty that is Polynesia. From the slopes of Haleakala and the fiery inferno of Kilauea to the majestic Na Pali coast, the charm of our island is unsurpassed. Join us on Oahu where the world gathers to enjoy Waikiki, Diamond Head, Hanauma Bay, Pearl Harbour and North Shore Surfing. In the midst of this modern tourist Mecca, on Oahu's quiet North shore, is Hawaii's most popular visitor attraction, The Polynesian Cultural Center. Relive your one-of-a-kind experience with the cultures of Samoa, Tonga, Maori New Zealand, Marquesas, Tahiti, Fiji and Hawaii, including: Exciting Tahitian Dancers, Hawaiian games and Hula, Coconut Tree climbing, Maori Stick game and Poi Balls, Samoan coconut cracking, Making Tapa cloth, Lovely waterfalls and gardens, Canoe rides...

I can honestly say that the PCC is the best presented and most educational theme park I've ever visited. This is no Disneyland, and anyone coming here expecting to spend the day whizzing around on rollercoasters or talking to some guy called "Polynesian Pete" in a big floppy rubber suit with a huge smile painted on is going to be disappointed. Those of a nervous disposition are more likely to go away shaking and scarred for life by the memory of half naked Polynesian warriors striding about everywhere with spears and knives. Within the complex, complete villages have been built to represent the people of Polynesia. Samoa, Tonga, Fiji, Tahiti, New Zealand, Hawaii and Marquesas are all represented, although nobody seems to be able to tell me quite where Marquesas is and I can't find it on any map - but I'm sure it's around somewhere. The concept behind the park is not unlike Folk Villages back in China, except of course on a much larger scale as you would expect from the United States. Here, you can actually walk around the villages and feel as though you're on the island being represented, most of them being entirely populated by evil looking warrior sorts wearing loin cloths and covered in Tattoos, carrying vicious looking spears and performing scary Maori style dances involving lots of screaming and tongue poking. And that's just the women.

The residents of the villages are all native to the islands, usually students at Brigham Young studying at the University of Hawaii. They put on shows throughout the day to illustrate their lifestyle and culture. The Samoan show in particular, featuring Chief Sielu Avea, brings the crowds back again and again as the chief is a comedian of the highest order and seems to be able to climb coconut trees in about a second - not a bad trick if you can do it. He even sells a videocassette for those who can't bear to be without his particular brand of wit after they've returned home.

It takes an entire day to visit all the villages and see all the shows, and there are also canoe trips along the river between the islands for those who really don't want to walk - I would say that the canoe trips are a romantic way of getting between the islands, but since the boatman is covered in tattoos and may be screaming most of the way this isn't necessarily correct! At 2.00pm, the canoes are commandeered by the Centre and everyone crowds along the river to watch a Polynesian canoeing display at which each island displays its boating skills - but this clashes with the IMAX film about the culture of Polynesia which I had really wanted to see. This is my only complaint, if you can call it that - there really is far too much to do in one day, especially if you get hung up on any of the village shows and want to watch it twice as I did. Upon entry to the Centre, each tour group is met by a native of one of the islands who hands out schedules and acts as a guide throughout the day to ensure you take in as much as possible - but you still won't see it all.

My day started at seven this morning and I didn't get back to the hotel until after midnight - and I still didn't see everything I wanted.

In the early evening, we were invited to take part in a traditional Hawaiian Luau - a Hawaiian outdoor feast. Rows of seats and tables had been laid out under a circus tent, although those of us who didn't think this particularly authentic decided instead to sit around on the grass - this was to be a Luau in the correct sense of the word - these days, it has become quite common for Hawaiians to refer to any sort of party or event as a Luau which has led to confusion among tourists. Heavily tattooed tribesmen from various islands hauled a whole pig onto the grass and laid it into a pit which was then covered over with leaves and dirt - somehow, they then managed to light this pit oven and we waited forever for the pig to cook in the traditional way before we were finally invited to tuck in. I got the impression that those of us closest to the oven who had watched the food being prepared were slightly less keen to partake as those sitting at the tables who happily shovelled down whatever they were offered. Personally, I can't even get my oven at home to cook anything all the way through however much I follow the instructions - so I was most impressed that these guys were able to shove a pig in the ground, cover it with earth and make it come out like a Sunday roast. There were also several Keiki, or Hawaiian children, running around taking orders and serving up food throughout the evening, huge smiles spread across their faces as they soaked up the party atmosphere and had attention lavished upon them by guests. I took these to be the kids of the staff, taking advantage of the opportunity to stay up late and go around scolding adults who weren't wearing their Lei!

At 7.30, we all crowded into the showroom to round the evening off with a "Polynesian Spectacular". Horizons is an 80 minute stage show featuring dancing and entertainment from each of the Polynesian Islands in turn. The whole thing isthen rounded off with a display of fire-walking and fire-Juggling by none other than our old comedian friend Chief Sielu Avea from the Samoan village. The show is billed as the world's largest Polynesian review, and with over 150 people taking part this is quite believable. It's typically huge and over the top, set against an amazing backdrop of erupting volcanoes and fields of lava threatening to engulf the stage - and naturally there's a full length videocassette of the show to take home for good measure.

It really is a shame that I have to leave behind the culture of the South Pacific as I head on into the continental United States in a few days time. There is so much more I would've liked to have seen, and the Polynesian Cultural Centre has only hammered it home that there are many more islands still to visit out there. I'm already pencilling in many of these places for a future trip - at this rate, I'm going to have a whole new round the world journey planned by the time I get home!

About Simon and Burfords Travels:

Simon Burford is a UK based travel writer. He will be re-publishing his travel blogs, chapters from his books and other miscellaneous rantings on these pages over the coming weeks and months, and the entry on this page may not necessarily reflect todays date.