I bummed around for a few hours as the VIP lounge was in a different terminal and had dreams of another upgrade to Business class as I went to the boarding gate.

It seems my luck had run out as I boarded one of the oldest and shabbiest planes I had seen in a while.
It was like from the 70's, but had never had a refit. It was shocking.

Luckily the seat next to me was not taken, so I thought at least I could stretch out and not have to worry about disturbing someone to go for a wee, as it was a really long flight of 9 hours.

All was fine for about an hour and then as soon as the food was over I started to bed down and then as I turned to stretch out I saw this massive arse heading towards me and this massive black woman collapsed in the chair next to me and spilled out all over the armrest pinning me next to the window.
What the hell was going on I thought. She looked like big mamma from the movie .
She turned to me and said she was really sorry but she was hugely travel sick and needed to sit next to the toilet just in case.
Just what I needed.
So as you can imagine it was not the best of flights.

The hostel offered a free collection from the airpor, so fter I landed I looked half heartedly for someone waiting with my name on a sign, but I never for one minute expected it.
Surprise surprise no one was there so I had to make a million pound phone call to the hostel who kept me on hold for ages.
Yep they had forgot, but he was on his way.
An hour later I called again and finally he turned up.
I scanned the skyline wondering where Jesus was and was a bit surprised how small he looked from the ground when I eventually saw him.

Up until now I had been staying in single rooms, but I knew now it needed to be shared dorm time otherwise my money would be gone too soon, so I took a deep breath as I checked in and hoped I would soon get back in to the swing of sharing.

It was baptism by fire though as someone had left a big log in the toilet and I could not get the flush to work.

The cleaner was in the hall so I tried to explain, but it was hopeless. I was surprised by how little English everyone spoke.

I must say I miss my own bathroom and the luxury of knowing you are all alone. I dont like to be hurried and I dont like to be interrupted.
Well I am not joking, but literally every time I sat down some b****** started banging on the door asking me how long I would be.

Hmmm, me and hostels may be short lived I thought.

Apart from that the Hostel was ok and only a couple of blocks from the beach.

Anyhow, back to the camera.
I was tempted to go straight for a beer but priority number 1 was to get a camera. For once i was being sensible.

I found a couple of supermarket type places and could not believe it when I found the same cameras as they had in New York, but for even more money!!
Now they were working out about double the price of UK cameras.
Just great.

I went back to the hostel and looked up where the shopping malls were and headed to the one that seemed the nearest and biggest. Luckily enough I managed to find an electrical shop with much better prices. I was loathed to spend too much on yet another camera.
Anyhow mission accomplished, I deserved a beer, so headed to Copacabana beach and had a nice Brahma as the sun set.

Back at the hostel a German man saw me on my tablet and asked me if I could help with his emails on his as he was having problems. He was poping out but would be back later. Sure I said I would be there, and then about ten minutes later came over mega tired and decided I needed to head to bed.
I was a bit embarrased when I bumped in to him at breakfast so told him the offer was still there if he needed it.
I managed to sort it all out so he offered to take me out as a thankyou.
Bonus, plus he really knew his way round and he could also speak the lingo.
He was certainly a character. His name was Rudolph, but everyone called him Rudy. A little eccentric and he did everything at a hundred miles an hour. He was retired and loved tango, so had spent a month in Buenos Aires doing tango lessons.

We went to the local supermarket and bought a massive piece of gammon and a huge sausage so went German style for tea. Then we went out and ended up having some beers in a pretty ropey bar full of pretty rough locals, but it was a laugh.

I was in two minds wether to find my own way around the sites or just to book one of the tours.
Seeing as Rio was such a huge place and also a bit dodgy in places I went with the tour option and booked for the next day. Rudy the German also wanted to go so booked along as well.

The tour was not until after lunch so he suggested we go to the lake in the morning.
In anticipation of my photo shoot with the big Jesus I put on my best top and we headed off.

As we sat on the bus it started to rain, and then it rained a bit heavier and then it rained like the end of the world.
So as we jumped off at our stop we waited under the bus shelter unaware of what was to follow.
The road in front was wide and traffic was coming and going, and then i noticed a big bus heading towards us but keeping near to the kerb unlike all the other traffic.

Then I saw the massive puddle.......

RUN! I shouted..

But it was too late. We got completely drenched. Not a little splash, completely drenched. The b****** had done it on purpose as the road was clear.
The rain never stopped, not that it mattered as we were soaked.

We needed to go back to the hostel anyway to catch the tour, but now we definitely needed to go back to change again.

Disaster, I only had my YMCA tank top left.

I was wishing I had never booked the tour as it was so dark and cloudy, but it was too late to cancel.
Perhaps he will do Jesus last and by then the weather will have cleared?

Nope we went straight to it and it was so cloudy you could not even see his face when stood at his feet.
Problem was we only had 15 minute there, so could not wait for the weather to clear.
I was so disappointed. I had really been looking forward to the view and the spectacle from being there.

I could not believe the luck I was having on this trip.

No time to moan though as we had to do the rest of the tour.

Luckily the weather improved a bit and was not as bad by the time we got to sugar loaf.

That night we went to one of the local buffets and I was introduced to the concept of food by weight, which is apparently what they do.

Very simple, you go get what ever you want and then they weigh your plate.
Simple.

An interesting business model.

Next day we went to the centre of town and I was surprised to see wifi signs on the lamposts. Turns out there is free wifi all over town.

It was Rudy's last day so he bought some champers and we went to the beach.

But we do not have a cup I said.

Aha!

And he pulled out the plastic jug you use to fill an iron with water.

I knew zees vood come in handy he said as he popped the cork and filled it up.

Well we certainly got some strange looks.

I had planned to go back and see jesus in the afternoon to get my view and some better pictures, but the weather turned awful.

Next day was My last day so I knew I had to go back and it was s*** ot bust.

So I caught the bus to the tram stop and went up about 2 o clock. That gave me all afternoon to wait for a break in the weather, plus I really wanted to be there at night time as well. There was a bar and a cafe at the top, so waiting would not be the end of the world.

As soon as I got up, the weather although cloudy was actually not bad, so I grabbed some pics while I could.

It really is a breathtaking view.
I was happy.

Question now was to wait the 3 hours til dark or go back.

I have come half way round the world, what is 3 hours, so I headed off to the bar.

Quite a few beers later just as it started to go dark it started raining!

I don't believe it, all that wait for nothing.

It was pointless to be outside in the cold and the wind and the rain, so I jumped on the tram and headed home, at least satisfied that I tried.

I wanted to get some food and drink so went to the supermarket on the way back.

As I went to the checkouts I noticed long queues but there was one with just a couple of people, so thought it was my lucky and jumped in the queue.

Next thing a man in a wheelchair came up behind me and started shouting.

I figured he was just mental and ignored him.

But he kept on shouting so now I was assured he was really mental, but noticed everyone in the other queues staring at me.
Next thing a man who looked like the manager came up to me and pointed for me to move.

I wondered what was going on. Then a few elderly people behind the wheelchair man started shouting as well.
Then the manager pointed up to a sign that I realised said that checkout was only for elderly and disabled peopled.
No wonder it was empty. I was so embarrased. Turns out wheelchair was not mental just going mental.

I said sorry I did not understand in english and went to the back of the other queue.
Next minute all the old men are waving at me to come back.
Now I was really confused. I walked back over and one at the back said to me in English, its ok, we realised you did not understand. Looks like they all felt guilty after ranting at me.
Boy do I need to learna da lingo I thought.

I had sent some laundry off the day before and went to collect it at reception when I got in.
Surprise it was not back.

Dont worry we will call them and get it here for sure lunchtime tomorrow the girl said.
But I leave in the morning, I have a bus to catch.

Oh.

I will call them and tell them you need it for 10 am.

Oh yea and they are going to drop everything just for me. I was not convinced and went to bed wondering just how long you can make a pair of underpants last.

Next morning I had my usual bang at the door whilst sitting on the loo and thought how little I would miss it.

Ten o clock comes and no laundry.
What a surprise.

I called them he is on his way the man said.

Yea yea I have heard it all before I thought to myself.
11 am was my absolute cut off for leaving.
What would I do I was thinking. It is not exactly worth much but I needed a change of clothes.
Ten o clock came and went, ten thirty came and went.
Surprisingly at quarter to eleven it turned up.
Although I was relievedd, this meant instead of a leisurely trip on the bus I was now rushing.

I was not sure where the bus station was so tried to explain to the driver to tell me where to get off. I am not sure if he was a little deaf, but he shouted when speaking to me in Portuguese.
No comprende I told him.

He continued to shout at me in Portuguese.

I reckoned I would have to play it by ear as I did not have a clue what he was on about.
We stopped in what looked like a depot, but certainly not one of the biggest bus stations in the world and everyone got off. I was a bit confused and knew there was no point in asking mr shouter.

I was worried if I got off to early I would be late by the time I discovered where the hell I was and waited for the next bus.
The bus set off and after a few hundred yards the driver saw me in his mirror and slammed on the brakes.

Now he was really shouting and waving in the direction we had come from.
Then he got up from his seat and shouted and waved a bit more.
I guessed it meant I should have got off with the others.

Now I was really confused. Why on earth had we not stopped inside the main bus station.
Luckily I spotted one of the previous passengers disappear around a corner in the distance, so hoped they would be going in the right direction.
I hobbled after them and then as I rounded the corner there it was. Turned out we were just on the next street.
Another stress session over.

Next stop Buenos Aires......