Once I was blind

Two days ago me dad and I arrived in the Philippines to spend a few days of Father-Son time. After a flight which took twice as long as it should have we arrived at the hotel and decided to take a cooling dip in the pool. And we did. And it was indeed cooling. But after I got out I was plunged into a world of soft focus lighting. It was dark by the time we dressed for dinner and all the lamps in the trees, in the room, and in the restaurant were surrounded with a fuzzy haze. It felt like I was watching Top of the Pops 2; Slade were about to come on and play their new hit single and Jimmy Saville had his arm around a young teeny bopper whilst he asked yet another pointless and patronizing question about Noddy Holder. I haven't a clue how much chlorine they put in the pool, but I've never experienced anything like that before. Usually people complain about the chlorine levels and I carry on swimming. I fell asleep praying I still had eyeballs in the morning. Luckily morning came and my clarity of vision had returned. I lived the Acuvue commercial. Hurrah!

One further thing to note about this island is that there's a lot of soliciting going on. When we asked what there was to do, staff at the hotel immediately started to recommend nightclubs. Then they go further. So far we've had two taxi drivers ask if we'd be interested in meeting some ladies, our waiter at the hotel restaurant recommended a street in the main city where we could find ladies, and the manager of tonight's restaurant subtly enquired as to whether either of us had 'tasted Filipino'.

And I don't think he was referring to the chicken.

Tony has discovered that he didn't inherit his pool playing genes from his father. Anyone who has played Tony at pool will know this is no insult against his father.