Simon's despatch: Halong Bay.

It had started to feel as though time was getting tight (I mean what can you really do in less than a month? ;). So we decided to be lazy and join the sheep on a package tour, organised through our hotel, to Halong Bay.

We were herded onto a little big bus (I can't think of a better description) and breathed a sigh of relief as we realised it had air con. Hanoi was running into the high 30s at the time with very high humidity, which basically meant you had sweat trickling down your chest within 10 mins of going outside.

After a couple of hours cruising down a reasonable highway into the oncoming traffic, we stopped at Vietnam's version of a service station. There are a few obvious differences between a Welcome Break and this incarnation.

1. No matter how hard I looked there was no sign of a Waitrose anywhere.
2. They've yet to realise the full potential of a captive audience as a full meal only cost £1.
3. Approximately 90% of the building was taken up with tourist tat and a host of painted ladies were constantly hovering around waiting to pounce on anyone whose gaze lingered too long on a ceramic. This led to an interesting game of slow motion cat and mouse as, with half an hour to kill, you couldn't help but look at something but at the same time removing a selling leech was a time consuming and frustrating experience. So you ended up walking around like a shop lifter, trying not to be noticed while checking out all the merchandise and occasionally speed walking around a table to put some distance between hunter and prey.

After another couple of hours we reached Halong port. Where we were herded through the crush of tourists onto a reasonably plush boat and set sail. For those of you who don't know, Halong bay is known as the bay of a thousand islands. The reason for this cryptic name became clear as we chugged out to sea. If not thousands then at least hundreds of limestone karsts thrust out of the water as far as the eye could see - Krabbi looks a little meagre in comparison.

It really is a breathtaking place with just a million tourists to take the gloss off it. Yes unfortunately the word is well and truly out. We enjoyed a nice meal whilst heading to Sung Sot cave, the biggest of the entire archipelago. Lit up like a Xmas tree the cave is impressively large and would have been even better had we not had to queue all the way around it! Even the biggest of caves feels a little claustrophobic when shared with a thousand other tourists. Many of them Vietnamese which means you don't have to put much effort into walking as what I'm going to call 'personal space power' or lack of it, just kind of shuffles you around with everyone else. It was actually a bit of a relief to emerge once more into the stifling heat and searing sun.

The second cave we went into was a far nicer experience as being smaller and having a strange map outside that inferred the path would force you to wade through a lake, cut the tourist numbers down nicely. We never managed to work out what the map was on about as the worst water obstacle I came across was a small, shallow puddle but I'm glad it was there to keep the hordes out nonetheless!

After the caves our boat chugged further amongst the islands leaving the day trippers behind and reaching a floating village. As far as I could tell the floating village existed on a diet of fishing and hiring out canoes to tourists. We did the latter.

It was really cool paddling around, exploring the jutting karsts. Some had tunnels worn through their sides that allowed you to paddle right through into what's best described as a crater lake. It's so amazing it can only be a matter of time before it's used as a location for a James Bond speed boat chase!

After returning the canoe and puttering through a bit more of the karst forest we dropped anchor and began a game of 'who dares jump off the highest point on the boat'. It turned out to be a draw with almost everyone jumping from the roof which was maybe 8m above the water.

Beth was a little nervous and in order to not give herself time to contemplate the scale of the drop, she just climbed over the barrier and jumped straight away. Not a problem the first time around. However, for her second jump she suggested we jump together.

I was already over the railing and took her hand to help her over. As she'd already taken the plunge once I assumed she'd be fine this time. The incredible firmness with which she held my hand should maybe have been a clue but subtle signals have never been my strongpoint. Over the barrier she came and unexpectedly plunged straight over the edge trying to take me with her. My brain was still forming the thought '1,2,3 jump' at the time, so in panic I grabbed the railing & abandoned her to her fate. Goodbye cool, hello Mr Bean on a diving board!

Whilst we were splashing around in the water our boat got invaded by the Dutch. Not their army just a number of overly friendly guys who, horrified at being charged the equivalent of £1.50 for a beer, had abandoned their own boat and started swimming to find a better bar. The crew were powerless to stop such friendly chaps but they left in the end after the island nation mentality of all the Brits on board along with our stand-offish nature made them feel a bit unwelcome.

On the upside such a large British contingent ensured the evening ended in question-and-answer drinking games with everyone revealing too much about themselves and others. So swings & roundabouts!

The next day was all about getting over hangovers, being unable to look each other in the eye and heading back to Hanoi.

Overall the location was excellent, the food pretty good & the amount we got done in the time very good, but I'm not sure I really want to be part of a herd again for a while. I like independent travel.