Regs everyone, thanks for the messages again, good to see some people staying strong - really enjoying the messages about how little time we have left, they're great! Cheers ;-)

Nigel - what the hell is going on at the Theatre of Comedy? Where's the 140million treasure chest? Is the Dr too pre'occupied with his wife's impending court case to be bothered to chase europes finest? Pumpey get Defoe and we go for the muppet from Zimbabwe, Benjani!! - bring back Peter Swales from his rest, all is forgiven!

On that frustrating note, on to more lighter matters......Australia!

So after a whirlwind couple of months in SE Asia it was time to leave and head for the land of sea, surf, Mick Dundee, the dyed mullet, thongs, Scott & Charlene and most of all sun.

After a brief stop in Singapore we touched down on 'stralian soil around mid-day and was met by a sharp looking Joel. Looking like he had just stepped out of the trading pit, little did we realise that he actually just stacks shelves for the Australian version of Tescos, 'Coles'.

Anyway, it was straight to the fashionable area of Melbourne known as St Kilda. This place is about as ideally located as you could get - it is only a 15 minute tram ride into central Melbourne and about a 15 metre walk to the beach, this will do for me cockers! The only problem being, that the famous Australian sunshine that is rammed down our throats by every billabong clad Ozzy visiting the motherland, well is just a ruse. It was pi**in down!!

Never mind though, our day immediately brightened with the arrival from work of a lean, mean street fighting machine by the name of Chiara - this girl looked like she'd been running marathons since she left blighty. So without further a do we tucked into a few 'stubbies' and it was out around St Kilda's main drinking drag, Fitzroy Street - highlight of the night being our visit to 'The Espy', one of Melbourne's premier music venues for a 'schooner' and a bit of 'tucker'.

The next day was Thursday and time to hit Melbourne. So while The Cons did whatever they did at work, Belle and I checked out Melbourne (I will now continue to address Chiara and Joel henceforth as 'the Cons') - and it has to be said that I was very impressed with the vibe of Melbourne so much so that it is definitely our favourite Australian city (I mean this place is home to the MCG!!)

So after engaging in some retail activities, it was time to join the young professionals going for after work drinks on the edge of the Yarra river (a butt of many a joke….apparently!). This continued into the late hours of the evening, finishing up in a kebab restaurant selling what has to be one of the best kebabs of all time! Beautiful!

Friday was supposed to see us take to the Great Ocean road, but this is one activity we were never going to get round too, and I like to think it was due to jetlag, but the reality was that 'the Cons' would continually get us pi**ed and hangovers would negate any notion of hours in a car, as well as the weather being terrible.

Instead, it was a jaunt around the fashionable South Melbourne market before heading back in the evening for more beers indoors and a game of Pictionary - this turned out to be one of the more productive games I've had, which saw a Male v Female encounter which was incredibly competitive by the fact that whoever lost [and by whatever margin] would result in the number of trips the losing team would have to make to the bar on boxing day at the cricket - the eventual winners were, of course, the men which meant the beer slaves would have to trot off to the bar a mere 14 times! 14 times!!! Absolutely beautiful! (the gloating from me was nothing short of incredible with little Belle having no qualms in repeatedly hitting me and calling me something quite filthy for the remainder of the evening!).

Saturday 22nd gave us a good opportunity for yours truly to visit one of the great sporting arena's of the world, I can't remember ever being so excited as I was when Belle, Chiara and Joel all agreed that a tour of the MCG was a must, especially as we were going to 'the G' for the boxing day test versus India!

The tour itself wasn't quite as we expected, with access to some of the more interesting areas being restricted due to both the Australian and Indian cricketers using the change rooms, net areas, and pitch in preparation for Wednesday's game.

Nevertheless, you couldn't possibly be unimpressed with the stadium, and it also gave us an opportunity to watch a few of the Australians in the outdoor nets. Great - and not a Jap in sight!

Later on in the afternoon Belle and yours went to Philip Island, the home of the famous Penguin Parade. Given to us as an early Christmas present by 'the cons', we travelled down to the island in readiness for early sunset to a fall, and then the incredibly timely arrival of the worlds smallest penguins emerging from the sea, waddling ashore to their sand dune burrows, passing within inches of where we were sitting. We were amazed! We even walked with a few as they trudged what must have been 250 meters to their homes! Amazing scenes - but no more amazing than the amount Belle spent in the souvenir shop - Autumn Wren Abernethy will be one lucky recipient of the top of the range imitation penguin!

So the first morning in a while waking without hangovers, Sunday 23rd was a surprisingly quite one which saw us on another jaunt into Melbourne CBD. We lazily took in a couple of sites including the Rialto tower to grab a panoramic 360 degrees view of the city and, using the using the old colonial tram system, we visited Carlton, home of Carlton AFL team (who are going to do the business this coming season. Go Juddy!!!)

We woke Christmas Eve to the stark realisation that during all the fun and games Belle and I had forgot to buy each other a present for Xmas. So it was into Melbourne again on the Tram to then each split up and 'meet here in about 1 hour' - we did, and ultimately it wasn't worth the bother - we both embarrassingly managed to obtain the 2nd most unimaginative Xmas present (second only to the HMV Voucher) Aftershave/Perfume.

Anyway, not to worry, we had bigger things to worry about - it was time to get changed and hit St Kilda for a few beers! As you cam imagine, we hit it pretty hard, much harder than most people in St Kilda - It would seem that Xmas eve isn't quite as celebrated as back in blighty, but nonetheless, we had a great time culminating in us ending up in the Espy again to get involved in some live music and mocking a few half-wits from Barnsley! (It was also this evening we experienced one of Melbourne's signature dishes 'Parmy and a Pot' (Parmy and a Pot: Chicken Parmagiana and a half pint of beer - amazing!)

Waking up on Christmas day in Australia is a strange feeling, there was definitely no snow (or even rain and grey clouds for that matter), no worry about if you had enough seats for the family round the table, no Mum & Dad to wish the very best and no thoughts of have I cooked the turkey enough?! It was more simple; a beer was cracked as soon as you emerged from the shower (no change there then) and it was a quick pack up of the food and beers into the 'esky' (Esky: Cooler box) and straight down to the public barbeque on the beach - what a way to start the day, beautiful! (Although we missed the Mum and Dad bit)

So we spent a couple of hours with shrimps etc on the bbq, playing footie in the sun, and getting through the amber nectar having a traditional Ozzy barbeque xmas breakfast. The afternoon, we were to visit some of Chiaras friends of her family from years ago. The only thing was that she's not seen them in around 15 years, and only by chance we got invited after she met up with her ex-classmate and got drunk! - Oh great, a drunken invite, how can we all turn up when they probably have no recollection of inviting not only Chiara and Joel, but a couple of pommie freeloaders!?

Our fears were soon dispelled after we were welcomed with open arms by what has to be one of the friendliest families we've ever met! Beautiful!

After spending the rest of the day being waited on, it was time to retreat to St Kilda with our bellies full in readiness for a night sleeping in front of the television (normal Xmas activities resumed) and begin to get excited about our day at the cricket.

We approached Wednesday 26th December 2007 with military precession lead by Field Commander Chiara Lastuzzi - she had pretty much bought, prepared, packaged, and packed all our food and drink, mostly while we slept in front of the tele on Christmas day - a truly amazing feat that allowed us to set off for the MCG early enough to ensure we would commandeer one of the public barbeques closest to the ground on the banks of the Yarra (still the butt of many a jokes, none yet heard at this stage).

What a way to start the day -bacon, eggs and 'snags' sizzling on the barbecue in front of the ground in anticipation of the most eagerly anticipated day of the cricketing calendar. Beautiful!

At around 10:30 we joined the crowds in taking our seats in the MCG, and our good fortune continues as we were sat on the 2nd tier, right above the legendary Bay 13 (Exert from the net: Historically, Bay 13 is unofficially seen as an important part of the MCG's atmosphere and environment. Iconic pictures are regularly repeated in cricket coverage of the crowd mimicking Merv Hughes' warm up stretches in front of the Bay 13 mob. Bay 13 is situated almost opposite across the ground from the members stand and despite efforts to tame the behaviour of the crowd from this section of the ground, the group has led the MCG to gain the title of having one of the worst behaved crowds of all the cricketing venues. Particularly in recent times the section has been criticised for poor and drunken behaviour. Scantily clad women known as 'beer wenches' have recently been banned from the ground because of their role of supplying drunken men with alcohol while remaining sober and then driving the drunken men home afterwards for a reasonable fee).

So in a perfect position to view both spectacles, neither disappointed; while Matt Haydon scored a fantastic ton, and the Indian's too 9 wickets on the first day,Bay 13 didn't disappoint by getting incredibly drunk, starting the vehemently outlawed mexican wave countless times through the day, demanding any person with a new pint to 'skull it', and chanting 't*ts out for the boys' to any woman brave enough not to be busy getting the boys their beer.

We also proudly created our own beer glass worm between us which we held aloft at the tea interval - this was also funnily enough the first time that yours truly was to introduce himself to the bar, some dozen or so pints, or 7 hours, since the start of the day, I bl**dy love Pictionary!!

So with my face redder than a blushing tomato, we ended the day by going back to Chiara and Joels to dissect the days entertainment and discuss how yours truly should have been an international cricketer, how England would have benefited with me at number 6, and how I was at the age of 16 more technically gifted than Kevin Peterson!.....I think we went to bed early that night for some reason!!

So after a quality Christmas period in Melbourne, it was time to shoot up to the nations capital Sydney....er I mean Canberra. A 7 hour road trip no less, listening to the delights of Kerry O'Keefe on the radio and counting dead Kangaroos......beautiful!!