My Defence by Joe Tompkins (aged 19 1/4)

I am well known for being a Sawday-esque creature, often banished together to sit in a corner cos we are dirty/smelly/lazy or whatever else mincers such as F.Webber, S.Sedgley and R.Smith may deem us. I am happy to look stupid in photos, however u may notice that Sedge always has a smouldering look.Abi will vouch that Bav's best friend is any reflective surface, he checks himself out in my sunglasses everyday, unashamedly.My defence does not need to be fantastic because I think the people are aware this is a perfect example of a two horse race, sorry two show pony race. I'm off to smell now, bye. (111 Words)

who's the biggest mincer......? what a question to pose!! its a close call but deffinately bav....xxxxx ha ha..... love u really hun!

I think the three people concerned should post a defense of themselves, assuming that they don't want to be named the biggest mincer.

Each defense should be approximately one hundred words explaining why they should not be named the biggest mincer.

Firstly well said the tall anonymous man from bognor, i whole heartedly concur with your sentiments.

I would also like to take this oppurtunity to start a message board debate :

Topic : who is the biggest mincer, is it Bav? sedge? or Joe?

I invite all readers to contribute with their thoughts and opinions on the matter.

That is because as well as being pastey white you still cannot grow a beard1

I would like to remove myself from any list of unshaven men as I have had at no point a silly beard and am in fact freshly shaven. However my accomplices...well I fear that they have not listened to Sawday's warning.

Its true, we ve been unshaven for 3 wks now......dont no how long i can hang in there................beard taking over.................havent got much time....................

News Flash - Australia suffers shock shortage of razors!

People all over Australia this week have suddenly found themselves unable to shave and forced to grow silly beards due to an incident involving a shipment of blades being unable to enter the country.

It has been reported that the large number of British travelers in the country have been the most effected by the incident.

Emergency supplies are being sent to surfers paradise (the area most effected by the shortage) to help the people in need.

Hang in there guys!

Hurrah for Postman - glad he found you, Stephen !!!!!!! He might have something else in his little bag for you soon - so keep a look out for him !!!!

Just seen poor Matthew's message - I shall ring him right now !!!! Oh dear !!!!

Lots of love for now from Susan xxx

Steve

Sorry about that.

Trying to send this message from my hospital bed in St Richards!

Stacked it Snowboarding and am in for a few days sorting my knee out!

Though have just managed to catch up with what you've all been up to.

Very jealous!

Was good to speak to you the week before last.

Take care and safe travels

Matt xx

Message to Mr Chip Man glad to hear you are making lots of new friends and keeping everyone happy. Must be what you do best as well as keeping yourself looking good.

hey boys! miss you lots cheers 4 ur messages yes i feel 4 fred we shld get him out here man! so gutted i can't spend lord of the rings land time with my fellow gollum, yes bav its not quite the same with out you! But you guys are gonna love it here its amazing a feast for the eyes i no it sounds cheesy but its true! tell me more bout ur sky dive i'm doing one next week! loads of love 2 u hobbits love rosie the attractive elf (not quite with no make up lots of freckles an trackie bums on man) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx