Before we begin this enlightening entry let´s go on a bit of a culinary diversion...

BARNES BEEF SURPRISE (Serves 2...none for Robert*)

INGREDIENTS:

• Argentinan Cow, killed and minced - Quantity: About the size of a small badger´s head.
• 1 Vegetable Stock Cube
• 1 Onion
• Red Wine
• Milk
• Butter
• Pototoes, Carrots or any root vegetable of your choice. Parsnips are nice.
• 1 Large Vodka Red Bull
• 1 Little Ginger Helper. In the absence of a ginger any mug will do.

PREPARATION:

1. Ensure Robert* is not in the vicinity of the kitchen. Should robert be in your kitchen it would probably be easier to move, he´s not budging.
2. Ask ginger helper to chop the onion and peel the vegetables. Don�t forget to shout that he´s taking too much peel off and that ´I should have done it my bloody self´.
3. Cut the root vegetables into various sized chunks and boil. In a saucepan with water obviously.
   
4. Fry the Argentinian mince in a pan with the onion. Complain that Argentinian mince is not as juicy as English mince. Check the wine is not corked (3 glasses should be a good indicator). Pour the remaining drips into the pan. Add the stock and a little water.
5. Stop for a ´rest´. Treat yourself to your favourite alcoholic drink and a cigarette. If you�ve managed to cut, burn or otherwise maim yourself in the process so far remember to pick at the scab now.
6. Drain the vegetables. Mash the potatoes. Ask ginger helper to stir the mince at this point - remember to accuse him of burning it. Serve everything on a circular plate.
7. Eat it.
8. Suggest ginger helper does the washing up whilst you take a ´rest´.

Following Victoria´s wonderful meal we watched a tiny dog eat the remaining mash out of the saucepan and reflected on whether potatoes really did make dogs go blind...oh... and our fantastic trip to Iguazu falls...

The journey up from Buenos Aires was slightly traumatic, not due to the comfort of the bus but because of an Argentinian man deciding that playing ringtones would be suitable entertainment for 15 hours. A Russian chap who refused to sit down (possibly due to piles, but more likely because he was a bit of a twat) decided to talk to us through most of the journey. If that wasn´t irritating enough, the TV was playing Celine Dion´s Greatest Hits. I wasn´t aware she had any. When we arrived in Puerto Iguazu and checked into our hostel it turned out that ´high season for the area had started about five minutes before our arrival. Owing to the astronomic prices we were forced to share a dorm.

*Our fellow inmate, Robert from New Zealand, seemed charming enough at first and was chatty and amusing with luxurious grey bed hair. In the evening we played a quiz in the evening. If you´re not aware how a quiz works Robert explained it to us: Somebody asks a question and somebody else answers it. After sharing a few drinks and eventually our food with him, Robert decided to go a bit Hannibal Lecter on us. Whilst leaving me in the kitchen to sit and discuss why it would not be that fair to ´smash me´, Victoria covertly disappeared to change dorms. An impressive action given the fact that it involved her having to move BOTH of our backpacks. Our sleep was still disturbed that night however given a huge thunderstorm that made Basra seem tranquil in comparison.

The following day took the short bus ride up to the falls. Truely magnificent, the photos will do them far more justice than I ever can. We had a very special day in the well laid-out national park. The best part of the experience was surely Victoria´s Mashed Egg sandwiches that we had in our picnic though. Mother nature at her finest and sandwiches filled with something that fell out of a chicken. Amazing. A dance was invented in the nightclub opposite our street-facing dorm room that evening in celebration of these gifts to humanity.

Back in the Lime House in Buenos Aires now, where we managed to miss the Capital�s first snow in 90 years whilst we were eating egg in Iguazu. We probably would have still missed it anyway given the fact that we never leave the purple sofa.

Off to Mendoza soon...we´ve got eggs on the boil for the bus journey.

Take a look at the photos. There´s one of a dog licking mince out of a frying pan and lots of beautiful shots of the falls.

Love Victoria and Tom xxx