River Nymphs & Wine Noses

I am a slightly sozzled, soggy siren,

and my wine-soaked limbs are tirin',

For we've just spent a whole entire day,

doing nothing but drink, swim and play.

Let me elaborate.

Today, ladies and gentlemen...today I think I may have figured out what I want to be when I grow up. Hang in there, and I'll let you know at appropriate intervals throughout this blog entry (this is called 'creating suspense').

In the beginning there was sobriety.

That was before I hit the vineyards at 10am, the earliest hour fermented grapes have ever hit my system. Lizzie, daughter to my generous hosts and an up-and-coming wine connoisseur working for one of the well-known Sonoma county vineyards, whisked me off for my first 'tasting': a food and wine pairing...

Seven glasses of wine sat in front of me. Plus an exquisite plateful of carefully selected food to go with each.

This, combined with a mind-bogglingly rapid-speaking New Yorker chef who was introducing us to each wine/food pair meant that it wasn't long before I was feeling slightly woozy. And it wasn't just the alcohol at such an early hour.

Thankfully Matthew (the chef) spoke s-l-o-w-ly and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y for his wide-eyed English wine student, whilst letting me get on with bumbling my way through my wines. As usual, those Food & Wine luvverrrs (you know who you are!), can look to the end for more details. Potential Career no.1: Wine Nose Extraordinaire/Professional Drinker

1, 2, 3 ... (er, maybe four?) vineyards later...and I'm starting to blur the boundaries between 'tasting' and 'drinking'...but at least I have found my favourite wine!

It is....

...drumroll...(I worked hard for this)

Eldorado Noir Russian River Valley 2006

Now, ever controversial, the wine I have chosen is in actual fact a red dessert wine, but ne'ertheless, I think it is quite the most scrumptious thing ever to pass my palate, a bright and exuberant burst of blueberries, blackberries and cherry cola which I could happily slurp myself into a stupor over. This particular vineyard brought with it the added benefit of a proposal from our winetaster, who charitably offered to marry me in order to get me an American 'green card'. This is an option I am seriously considering. Mum, I might not be returning to London (what can I say, I think he has a vineyard!). Potential Career no.2: Ancient Californian Vineyard Owner's Beautiful Young English Wife

Anyway, moving swiftly on from my possible impending nuptials.

It was high time we let our hair down. All this drinking was tiring stuff. Bikinis in hand, we headed down to the river. The scenery we walked through was for me reminiscent of those all-American films 'Stand by Me', 'Fried Green Tomatoes' - I shamelessly lump the whole of the USofA here together with such descriptions, but forgive me, it's terribly difficult not to. This referring to the great expanses of forest fir trees, and large lakes of water.

Less happily, there were also mounds of this nasty, unfriendly stuff called 'Poison Oak' or 'Poison Ivy' which, charmingly, Lizzie taught me to avoid as follows: 'Leaves of three, let them be, if it's shiny, watch your hiney (backside)'. Being intrepid explorers, not to mention desperate for a swim, we battled onwards, stripped down, and swam into a beautiful, wide, slow-moving river.

There commenced a happy our of splashing, paddling and singing. I have no doubt whatsoever that the woodland animals were deeply impressed by our echoing renditions of The Little Mermaid's 'Part of this World' and 'Under the Sea'. Lizzie and I are very talented singers you know - or could that have been the remnants of alcohol still floating round in my system?

Exercising my vocal chords combined with an energetic swim in an ice cold river got me in the mood for some mischief. So we duly terrified some tourists kayaking past us, using one or more of the following threats:

"Hi, we regret to inform you that in order to pass down the river, there is now a toll of $15 - as the River Toll Collectors we do accept cash"

or (in response to the question 'What are you guys doing in the middle of the river?') "We floated down here from England", or "We're river nymphs, this is our favourite place to hang out". Along with various other fabricated yarns... Much fun. Pinocchio and I would no doubt bond well.

We also managed to attract the attention of some Turkish boys (which, we are under no delusions, is never tricky), who kayaked past us, and then kayaked back upriver to try their luck chatting up the beautiful mermaids of the river (fyi no luck). Potential Career no.3: River Nymph - I don't like to boast, but I do make a cracking one
Potential Career no.4: Pirate of the high seas

Any additional thoughts on my potential careers, do please write in.

*Food Fiend*

Wine and Food Pairing

Grand Reserve Malbec Rose 2007
Sumac Cured Sturgeon with Pickled Rhubarb
A sturgeon gravadlax cured with Mediterranean sumac and sugar, garnished with pickled
rhubarb and fresh red radishes from the vineyard garden. The crisp acidity
in the wine cuts through the fat from the Californian sturgeon.

Highland Estates Camelot Highlands Chardonnay 2006
Chilled Potato and Fennel Vichyssoise with Poached Shrimp
Tender baby fennel from the garden simmered in Chardonnay and a touch of cream
along with potatoes. The glass is topped with a Chardonnay poached shrimp
skewered on a dry fennel stalk, complimenting both the flavour of the cold soup
and the wine.

Highland Estates Seco Highlands Pinot Noir 2005
Liberty Farms Duck 'Pastrami' with Strawberry Mustarda
Lightly spiced and smoked duck 'pastrami' topped with an Italian style mustarda made
from estate strawberries and mustard seeds. A touch of truffle oil
highlights the earthy aroma of the wine while the smoke and fruit help match
the complex flavours of the Pinot Noir.

Highland Estates Hawkeye Mountain
Cabernet Sauvignon 2004
Lamb Tenderloin 'a la Parrilla' with Chimichurri
The robust flavours of an Argentinean 'asado' hold up
this full bodied, complex mountain Cabernet. Skewered lamb
is grilled over red wine barrel staves and served with a chimichurri sauce
made from olive oil, garlic, herbs and spices.

Chocolate Truffle Infused with Cabernet Sauvignon
Cabernet and cream are infused with chocolate, and then
the ganache mixture is rolled into truffle shapes and dusted with cocoa powder.

Late Harvest Chardonnay 2006 (dessert wine)
Mama Frischkorn's Caramel Corn
The lush and indulgent dessert wine pairs perfectly with an old
family recipe for caramel popcorn.