Goa blog brought to you by Kyle Kemp:

On Friday we left Mumbai with a heavy heart, but were excited to see what was ahead in the beach state of Goa.

After a round of refreshments in “Good Times” airport bar, we hopped on a bus to take us to the tarmac where the plane was ready to board from both ends. Leave it up to the American girls to board the plane at the front, and our seats were the second to the last row. So we basically did the awkward aisle dance with every single person who boarded from the back.

Our flight was one of those flights where you descended before you even took off. However, there is something to be said about these cheap SE Asia airlines…in the mere hour we were in the air we were served a full meal AND coffee!

We landed in Goa, grabbed our bags and headed out to find our driver. Fernandes was his name, but we called him “Weird Indian Yancovich”. This guy is awesome!

He stopped us off at a wholesale alcohol dealer where we purchased 6 beers, 2 bottles of wine, 1 fifth of Smirnoff vodka, 2 waters, and 4 soda waters for about $20 usd. Insane.

However, what really brought Fernandes up a notch and sealed the deal on us using him as a driver the next three days was his solid collection of what he called “country music”. We were able to turn up the volume and roll down the window belting out jams such as I wanna know what love is, Dirty Dancing’s I’ve had the time of my life, Hotel California two times, and enough Bryan Adams to make you swoon – here’s looking at you Liam and Rachel! PS. Next time you see Gina make sure you request her interpretation of Bryan’s “Oh Yeah” – she f***ing nails it!

We were then taken to our “apartment” where we had 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room, 3 balconies a kitchen and our own personal chefs and housekeepers. I’m actually writing this as they are preparing our breakfast. Not a bad set up. All for $25 each a night!

After settling in the first day, we headed to the beach. I brought my iPad in hopes I’d find wifi around there so I could finish up my Mumbai blog. The beach was a pristine gem, very clean and barely anyone there. After an hour or so of sunbathing, I was ready to get into the shade. I headed over to a hut that I was told had wifi. The owner was a very nice man who didn’t charge me for his wifi. I ordered a large kingfisher beer and got started on finishing up my blog. Halfway through I realized the folks at the table next to me were trying to get my attention. “Hello friend”, “Sweedish? Polish? Russian?” I told him I was American hoping he’d leave me alone as I could smell the booze on him from across the room. This turned into a nightmare of a conversation. There is nothing worse than 3 drunk Russian men trying to hit on you not speaking a lick of English – except maybe 3 drunk Russian men and their drunk Russian wing woman. They came over sat at my table trying to talk to me. I couldn’t understand a word. The owner of the restaurant told them to stop bothering me and then proceeded to tell me that 90% of the tourists in Goa were Russians. He told me they were all rude and some didn’t pay. So we spent the next hour making fun of them.

When I met back up with Becky and Gina they were 2 Kingfishers deep and very involved in a game of sequence. Shortly after I sat down 3 large beers were plopped down on our table. The waiter pointed to the beat red, pleasantly plump russian man with who gave us a sexy head nod. He came over to our table and was clearly a very nice man, but only spoke to us in Russian which was a bit of a one sided conversation. Entertaining nonetheless!

The next morning we woke up early and went for a 4 mile run on the beach passing early morning fishing boats, early morning Russian beach goers, and stray dogs. After our run, Dori and her husband came to our apartment to make us breakfast. Post breakfast, Fernandes “Weird Indian Yancovich” picked us up and took us about an hour north to the Anjuna Markets. We strolled through aisles and aisles of jewelry, bags, spices, shoes, food, tea, and much much more. We were there for about 3 hours and barely scratched the surface. At one point we found ourselves in a section that seemed like the cast of the 90′s epic fail of the movie Waterworld came to die. Strangely dressed bohemian backpackers were everywhere, yet no Kevin Costner in sight. If half your hair wasn’t shaved, you weren’t wearing leather and some sort of chest piercing, you weren’t fitting in. But we were used to that anyways.

Weird Indian Yancovich told us of a happening nightclub in Goa and assured us there would be tourists and travelers alike to dance with and mingle. So post dinner, we hopped in the car and made the 45 minute journey to Tito’s night club. Music blaring, dodging cars left and right, with narca-Becky in the back, we arrived at Tito’s. We were greeted by 2 men at the gate of the club. We were informed that we were the first ones there. It was still relatively early, about 10:45, so we decided we would get the party started on our own. We walk into the club, the neon lights were glowing, lasers were going, music was bumping. There were about 30 men working that night (must have anticipated a rager). So Becky, Gina, myself and Weird Indian Yancovich hit the dance floor. A few people trickled in, but at the peak point of the night, the ratio of staff to club goers was about 30:8. We left Tito’s at about 12:30 once we had enough booty shakin’.

The next day was our chill day on the beach. A short walk down to the beach, we set up camp at Wagzika beach hut. The owner Prajay was extremely accommodating (what up Prajay, hope you’re reading this!) and the free wifi was a great bonus.

After about 5 hours in the hot Indian sun, we decided to call it quits and head back to the apartment for some afternoon games – and of course cocktails!

Post cocktails we headed to Colva to an Internet cafe so we could book some flights and hotel. Becky took the booking by the reins (pun intended) and made $hit happen. We pretty much booked flights, confirmed itineraries and reserved hotels for all of India! I also found out that well be in Jaipur for Holi! Holi is on my list of things to do and it just so happens to be happening when were there! Holi is a festival of colors – think The Color Run but authentic and in India!