I'll get to that.

You've probably been waiting for that update where I post a photo of my sexy muscle car. Alas, it won't be forthcoming. I was unable to hire muscle cars out of Boston. Believe me, I'd have gotten one if I could, but I really couldn't. I'm driving some humiliating vehicle I want to put a bullet through.

I woke up yesterday in Boston after a pretty **** night's sleep. No one's fault except the insomniac's. That said, I'm still pretty slow to get running so I think I ended up hitting the road around 11am. I didn't stop to see any of Boston but I did sort of kind of drive through it. And under it. It's weird. The major roads basically cut through the city and tunnel under buildings. Everyone there also drives about 15 miles over the speed limit. That makes me like Boston quite a bit, without even seeing the place.

The drive between Boston and New York is pretty forgettable and I say that because I don't recall it. (Worrying.) Until my GPS had a seizure. In the Bronx. I was in a traffic jam on a freeway that runs north-south past New York, inching my way south. In amongst all those tight, tall buildings, the stupid woman who lives inside the GPS in my iPhone lost her mind and told me to exit. I don't know New York well enough to argue with her, so I did as told. As soon as I took the exit ramp, I discovered this stupid woman in my phone was travelling behind me. I got to an intersection before she did. Being direction-savvy, I hedged and went left because that was south and I was, for the most part, headed south. I immediately found myself driving under a bridge. Like, in the movies. Only it wasn't a movie. There weren't even any lanes marked, you just drove between the pylons. Directly ahead was a building, although the road suggested you drove it like a round about. Which I did. I even had the presence of mind to give way to my LEFT as I went round it. Awesome. Which brought me to another set of lights and I turned right. GPS ***** caught up at this point. Sitting at the lights, I looked around. I've never been to the Bronx, but had no trouble figuring out that's exactly where I was. I was on the corner of a park, there were people everywhere, and when the lights changed and I was able to turn right, people flooded the crossing. The crossing light went red, yet still they streamed out with no intention of giving way to the psycho in the car. Being the genteel Sydney driver I am, I just kept it rolling forward. I wasn't reeeeeeally going to hit them, but I didn't want them knowing that. I immediately found myself at another set of lights in the far right lane (of three lanes) and GPS ***** announces I need to turn left at the next lights, about 30m away. I glance to my left and see a BMW I have no chance of taking in my **** car. So when the lights changed, I pulled a move I've actually seen done in New York. I got behind the BMW in the middle lane, put my indicator on to go left, drove all the way forward, beside the lane of cars that were turning left WHERE I WAS MEANT TO BE, and shoved the nose of my car in between the two front cars. Because that line of cars was so long, I physically couldn't get behind them from the set of lights I'd been sitting at. And rather than miss the intersection altogether, this was my only choice - dive between two cars about to turn and hope they don't mind. In New York. I've seen it done by taxi drivers so I know it's possible. I figured it was either going to work, or I was going to be shot. Believe it or not, it worked!!! Without any horns blaring or fingers raising. I managed to impress even myself. This put me straight back onto the freeway I'd been on originally. I called GPS ***** a lot of names at that point.

I drove successfully out of the NY traffic and on to New Jersey which is a whole lot prettier than I'd ever realised. NJ hadn't really been on my hit list of places to see, but when all my plans fell through, I remembered my friend Regina said she'd be at Ocean City in August. I crossed my digits and hoped it'd be the week I was here and called her. Struck it lucky!! So I drove from Boston to Ocean City, NJ to have dinner with her. Short trip. Only about seven hours. Then 90 minutes back to my motel where I really wish I'd crashed out but no... :-( Another **** night's sleep.

I seem to be able to get a day or two into a holiday with hardly any sleep before it catches up with me. So today, on my third day in America, I start to feel it a bit. Which is naturally when I decide to ratchet up the thrills. And thus, we come to the title of my blog.

For those of you who don't know what Six Flags is, it's a chain of amusement parks. There are a bunch of them around America and the one in New Jersey is called Six Flags Great Adventure. I personally would've called it Six Flags Wicked Ass Death Coasters, but their name probably works for all markets. As soon as I was through the gate, I headed for Kingda Ka. No warm-up rides for this mad red-head.

Here's what you need to know. Kingda Ka is a roller coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure. It goes from 0-206 km in 3.5 seconds. Re-read that if you need to. It pulls 5 G's as it curves straight up. It is 139 metres HIGH. But it doesn't just max out and coast back down. No. That's for *******. It goes up and OVER and you plunge face-first back down, with a spiral. For those who are salivating at this thought, and the rest of you who need further convincing that I am completely mental, you want to watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN8nv4t VFuA I've watched that video over and over and over and it still gives NO idea about what it's really like. The force of that thing could invert your boobs. No word of exaggeration, it nearly blew the contact lenses out of my eyes. Naturally I was in the front row and had no wind break. It was an orgasm on tracks. And, also naturally, I'm one of those lunatics who will do the entire ride with their arms in the air. Because let's face it, if something goes wrong on that ride, hanging onto my harness like a little girl isn't going to save me. The 5 G's is utterly skull-crushing, countered entirely by the enormous high of arching over the top and plummeting down the other side. You've never experienced anything like it unless you've been on the ride. Or your last commercial airline flight took off from an aircraft carrier. Which I know it didn't.

The line for Kingda Ka was a good hour. And just as I reached the front of the line, there was "a minor technical problem" which caused a small delay. Didn't bother me. What was fun, was watching all the Americans around me go all, well, American. People shouting out to be updated, others wanting to leave the line and demanding they be allowed back in at the same spot later, that kind of thing. So angry and entitled all at once. It never stops amusing me.

After that, I thought I'd slow it down a pace and go on El Toro, the wood framed roller coaster. Got that one wrong. :-D That is one mean ******* of a roller coaster. It's not rough. Not at all. Nothing like The Bush Beast at good old Wonderland, that left you bruised all the way down your upper arms and legs. Noooooo... This one is mean because it has the steepest drop of a wooden roller coaster in the WORLD. 76 degrees. That's only 14 degrees off dead vertical. On a wooden roller coaster. Bring it!!!!! (You can see a small part of the steep drop in the photo of El Toro I've added. Only a small bit though.)

Around this point, I decided the big wait between rides allowed a little too much adrenalin-rush-adrenalin-crash-rush-cra sh to happen and that I should buy one of those passes that allows you to kind of skip the lines. Between the jet lag and that whole thing where I've gone from winter to summer (and it's pretty gross and warm and humid here) I really could've felt better than I felt today. The pass was the best $45 I've spent all trip so far. It's an electronic tag that tells you the wait time on the ride. You select the one you want to go on and when it's your turn, it alerts you and you wander over and jump on. It basically holds your spot in the queue. Once I got scanned onto that ride, I'd select the next one and repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Adrenalin rush after rush after rush. :-D

I staggered out of the park at 10pm, relying entirely on my homing pigeon skills to find the car. I was in such a state of euphoria when I parked that I paid no attention whatsoever to where I left the stupid thing. In the end I'd gone on Kingda Ka, El Toro, Batman: The Ride, Bizarro, Superman, Skull Mountain, The Dark Knight and Nitro. I also can't scream enough good about Nitro. What a ripper roller coaster. SO high, SO smooth. And I rode it at night. It was like plunging into deep, dark oblivion. I think by that point my adrenalin was all run out because I'd float around these rides with my arms out, thinking, "This might kill me... But that's OK, I'm having fun."

Now I am back in my motel room wishing my physical fatigue was matched by the desire and ability to fall asleep. Might be roofie time. I have an even bigger drive ahead of me tomorrow.