Vern: Somewhere in the middle of Malaysia the English found that the rising land flattened out into a plateau surrounded by gentle slopes ideal for growing tea. So they cleared the jungle, planted seeds and constructed Tudor mansions with large porches on which to sit and admire their crops while sipping on the fruits of their (forced) labour. Thus, rather unexpectedly, we found a little bit of Surrey in the jungle of the Cameron Highlands. We were both secretly...

Vern: The scuba diving at Tulamben in the north-east of Bali was spectacular. We stayed in a dive resort either past its prime or not there yet, but sort of cheated on them and dived with a cheaper outfit across the road. Our Dive Master was named Muddy (though the visibility was anything but - dah doef tish) and couldn't have been more relaxed. He didn't speak much English, didn't ask for our PADI cards, nor did he blink an eye at stuffing two adults into childr...

Vern: A shuttle bus, which was actually a taxi driver out-thinking the rest by charging only a little less and relying on high passenger numbers, drove us two hours north east and dropped us in Tirta Gangga. Which as it turns out, isn't really a town but rather a few hotels and restaurants which have sprung up around a tourist attraction. This meant that bottled water had doubled in price and that a constant stream of hawkers, hiking guides, taxi drivers and the ...

Vern: We chose Ubud, the inland artist's haven and cultural heartbeat for our first taste of Bali. We landed on the island in the evening, a mere five days before President Obama set down for a conference with Asian leaders. Had we planned it better we could've hitched a ride on Air Force One. (While editing this Andrea advised me that I have perhaps overestimated the US public transport network.) Our room in a 'homestay' was large, and other than the floor tile...

Vern: We caught a bus from Singapore to Malaysia, which at some point stopped for a long lunch break and never started up again. After a while another one arrived, so we made the switch and were once again on our way. At a shiny bus terminal, miles from the city centre, we disembarked (at the driver's insistence) and with a little help found a walkway to a nearby train station. The train system in Kuala Lumpur is infuriating! Each line is operated by a different...