Whoa - where to start? Forgive me people for it has been nearly 3 weeks since my last confession......

In this time Andy, Kate, Em, our group and I have pushed a bus up a hill in La Paz whilst hungover, walked across the border into Peru, dressed up in traditional Peruvian costumes, danced with locals and played football against locals on Lake Titicaca, had some passports and cameras stolen in got very drunk in Cusco, dodged Tarantulas, Monkeys and Caimans in the Amazon, walked the Inca Trail and marvelled at Machu Picchu, visited the World's (second) deepest Canyon, (forget the Grand Canyon) and ooooo-ed and aaahhh-ed at the magnificence of Condors gliding past, flown in a little Cessna over the Nazca desert to observe the crazy lines of animals drawn in the sand, gone buggying and sandboarding on some of the World's tallest sand dunes and visited the Islas Ballestas to smell the incredible amount of guano produced by millions of birds, (not to mention the sea lions).

I don't really know where to start in terms of writing about all of this - on the main because it would take forever and would undoubtedly be the longest blog yet by far........ But hey, I have a 20 hour bus journey to Mancora in North Peru with no book and only a beautiful Kiwi to keep me company......... So, I'll give it a go!

After being woken up by our intrepid leader, Hernan, because we had overslept and our bus was waiting outside - Andy and I struggled with our hangovers to be ready quickly enough only to then have to get out and help push the bus up a hill so it could roll down the other side and get a kick start.

We finally left La Paz and some of our hangover behind. We stopped first in Cococabana on the Bolivian side of Lake Titicaca before heading across the border to the tunes and sights of traditional dancers. We were then on our way to Puno where we would grab a boat in the morning onto Lake Titicaca to visit some of the islands and local communities there. Uros was first, a series of floating reed islands about an hours ride from Puno. The locals speak Quecha and live as families on islands made of reeds. If the family get's bigger, they build more of the island, if they fall out with their neighbours, they simply up anchor and move it! Incredible place, we met all of the family including two adorable little girls. We also got to go into one of their houses which surprisingly had a TV powered by solar. After being kitted out in their traditional clothes we hitched a ride on a very strange boat back to our 'speedboat'.

Amananti Island was 3 hours away and was an absolute fairytale of a place. Beautiful terraced landscape with traditionally dressed locals working the land or walking the pet Llama or Alpaca. Each pair had a surrogate 'Mother' and 'Father' for the night and Andy and I obediently trudged along behind Natilda to the house of Santiago. Fortunately, one his sons and Santiago himself spoke Spanish so we could just about get by with conversation over lunch and dinner, (quinoa soup with potatoes followed by potatoes and rice and the more and more familiar Coca tea). Whilst on Amananti we played footy with the locals. As Lake Titicaca is the highest navigable lake in the World at over 3200M, running around was heart explodingly, lung bustingly hard. We lost after the locals let us sprint to a 3-0 lead before taking advantage of the altitude and punishing us. We all had to wear the traditional hat of our 'house' whilst playing - mine was too small and quite frankly looked ridiculous. We then trekked to the top of the island to Pachatata - mother temple to the water - to watch the sunset and take some marketing shots for Cusquena, (currently my favourite beer of the trip by far). Following dinner we all donned the traditional dress for a disco with the locals. My new 'brother' was one of the band members so after a couple of dancers with 'mum' we had our photo taken with the band...... Very amusing night, especially with all the girls in full on dress, (guys got away easily with just ponchos and hats). We had the mother of all thunderstorms that night and didn't sleep much with the rain sounding like machine guns on the tin roof of our little shack but still managed our first proper group night out in Puno later that evening. Introducing the group to Perudo, (apparently not a South American liar dice game after all since no locals had heard of it) was entertaining and was an amusing evening ruined the following morning when a local casually strolls into the reception of our hotel and grabs Andy and Siobhans day bags whilst we're all stood there! Passports, cameras, phones etc. Absolutely unbelievable. After some frantic running around Puno looking for the culprit we head off to Cusco with Andy being quite philosophical about it and Siobhan being very upset, (having lost a huge amount of photos).

Another stunningly beautiful bus journey brings us to Hernan's home town and the ancient capitol of the Inka Empire. Our hotel is just off the main square, Plaza de Armas, which is beautiful - Cathedrals on two sides and colonial architecture mixed with Inka walls and narrow cobbled streets. Cusco is also the Gringo capitol of South America and not only do we meet up with Jess who is at Spanish School there but we also meet up with several other familiar faces from my trip. Cusco will be our base for the next couple of weeks and our first expedition is a 3 day trip to the Amazon Jungle. After a very heavy night at La Chupeteria, (shot bar in Cusco but means something else in Spanish........), we fly our hangovers, (becoming a bit of a habit since Andy arrived), to Puerto Maldonado and take a boat trip down the Rio Madre de Dios to our Jungle Lodge. 3 days of jungle trekking, tarantula dodging, monkey spotting, caiman hunting, mosquito avoiding, tree hugging and sweating we flew back to Cusco. Was so nice to be back at altitude and cool air. It was so humid in the Jungle, almost unbearable sometimes. Great experience though but re-affirmed my decision to not do the 14 day boat ride down the length of the Amazon from Peru to the Atlantic. The Jungle was impressive, the river equally so and was fun to spot all the wildlife. And at night, with our shack on the edge of the dense Jungle, all we could see and hear were bushes rustling accompanied by strange animal noises and tiny flashing lights. Who knows what was making the noises but it was fairly captivating non the less. Andy and I managed to continue our 'habit' of drinking pisco sours every night and we also met some cool American girls who we hoped to catch up with again in Cusco. All in all, an enjoyable excursion - I'm forgetting the football match we played against the staff of the lodge. Again, playing the locals in ridiculously humid conditions which suit them did not help our cause and after a terrible performance by me, we lost again. If only we could get the locals to England and a cold, gret, wet and windy Preston Park.........

Another night in Cusco followed, this one messier than the first. It's mental there. You get so many free drink vouchers just by walking through the main square and even after that, when you are in the clubs the bar staff often don't charge you or sometimes even pour alcohol straight from the bottles into people's mouths. Crazy and we're all feeling very rough for the tour of the Sacred Valley the next day. The Sacred Valley is a short drive from Cusco and is a stunning valley of lush green and steep sided mountains containing many of Peru's major Inka sights. Seeing your first Inka ruins and Inka terraces built and cut into the sides of this incredibly steep sided valley is pretty amazing. Trying to figure out how these people, who had no form of writing, were still in the Bronze Age and hadn't discovered the wheel, managed to quarry, move and cut stone to build these places is baffling. The whole experience is impressive and serves only to get those of us walking the Inka Trail more excited. We start early the next day, meeting our guide Reuben from the Sacred Valley tour who introduces us to our assitant guide Eduardo and our 10 porters and one cook. These guys are amazing, carrying huge packs containing our tents, food, sleeping bags etc and virtually running the trail so everything can be sorted out by the time we arrive to camp. Most do it in Sandals and when they finish, will run back to the start to pick up another tour and another fare. The track is so steep, high and exhausting at times that they really do make the trek so much easier. I would imagine alot of people would not complete it if they had to carry all there own gear. So, 9 of us with our 2 guides, 11 porters and cook set off to begin one of the key things I wanted to do in South America. It was not quite the dry season just yet so the weather wasn' perfect but everyone was in high spirits as we got our passports stamped and negotiated Andy's entrance being passport-less. It starts by crossing the impressive Rio Urubamba and heading up the valley, soon curving off to follow a much narrower valley up to the first camp. We pass small little huts with locals selling water, cute little dogs, amazing Inka ruins, all the time with amazing 360 views up, down and along the valley. Our first camp is basic and Santos, the cook, serves up an amazing 3 course dinner in our 'dining' tent. Still not raining, this will be easy....... Famous last words. The next day we climb 1600M to 4200M in the space of a mile and a half! It's a gruelling climb made harder by the fact Andy and I decide to be 'boys' and caine it. My heart is literally pumping out of my chest as we hit the summit of Dead Woman's pass as my lungs and muscles cry out for air which isn't as readily available as it is 4200M lower where I'm used to living. The climb has left us deep in clouds with no views and a faint drizzle so after the 'First Pass' Tuaca moment we crack on to the campsite and arrive before all but one of our porters who looks quite surprised to see us. In fact we're the first Gringos there and end up waiting nearly 3 hours until all of our group arrives and the camp is fully erect. Maybe we should of taken it easier. Although, our camp would of been ready sooner if it hadn't of been for the Kumuka crew, (another tour group who would become good friends), taking so long over their lunch whilst pitched on our spot so our boys couldn't get our tents up! The clouds lifted that evening and we were treated to the most amazing view down the valley we had entered after coming through Dead Woman's pass. At the bottom of the valley was a huge, snow capped mountain ridge with glaciers clinging to the peaks. Behind us, from where we had descended we could see waterfalls cascading off rocky outcrops and cliffs. Amazing setting and that night the sky is completely clear so we have a beautiful view of all the stars but it's so very very cold. We are up to see the sunrise over that very same incredible view from the previous afternoon and are hopeful for good weather. Unfortunately, as we hit the top of the second pass, (after more gravity defying Inka ruins and a view of the pass we had completed the previous day, (it looked nothing like a dead woman!)), we just saw the peaks of distant snow capped mountains on the horizon of the next valley before clouds descended and left us with nothing but a view of grey for the rest of the day. However, the next part of the walk was epic, with the trail descending through cloud forest, clinging to the edge of cliffs, winding around rocks, going through some rocks in the form of 'Inka Tunnels' and in some cases being 'stuck' to the sides of cliffs by the Inka's who had built walls on the mountainside to facilitate the continuing trail. Absolutely incredible, if only we could see down! We made the final pass easily but the Tuaca moment was once again hindered by the lack of view. More amazing Inka ruins before the most ridiculously steep and dangerous descent I've ever encountered began to the third and final camp. Enroute we finally drop below the clouds and get a view of the Urubamba valley, the raging river and the stunning lush green mountains. We're even treated to a rainbow across the valley to make up for no view before now. Neil, Ranks and I are in high spirits as we get to the final camp; there is a bar! We have a few celebratory beers, give our tips to the porters who we say goodbye to in the morning, (I'm nominated to give the speech in Spanish......!), and after a few games of Poker in the very strange 'bar' we hit the hay in preparation for the 4.30am start for sunrise at the Sun Gate, (Intipunku). We wake up to the sound of rain and after breaking camp and another epic cliff hugging walk, (where we see the landslides which caused all the trouble), we climb the Monkey Steps to Intipunku only to be greeted by the familiar sight of white cloud. Gutted. We domn't stay for long and descend towards Machu Picchu. The cloud is so bad we actually stumble into the place before we see it. By this time it's raining hard and everyone is slightly low to have completed such an epic walk only to feel slightly let down. However, this doesn't last long - within 2 hours the clouds have lifted. You can see the whole, immense site and surrounding mountains, the faint line of the trail etched into what looks like a vertical valley wall, the Sun Gate balanced precariously between two peaks, and the awesome Wayna Picchu standing vertically above everything, (I didn't realize there were ruins on this mountain too - how the hell they built them on that I have no idea, you can climb it but we all agreed it looked absolutely petrifying - confirmed by the faces and stories of those who did it, one slip and it would be a 2 KM drop into the Urubamba river below). Instead, after our tour and several obligatory photos, Andy and I trekked back up to the Sun Gate which we had to ourselves, away from the hordes of tourists visiting on the train, (another reason to have felt deflated when we arrived), and admire the whole site and surrounding mountain scenery from afar. It's truly epic and spectacular - and definately looks like a postcard and not real. It's totally unfathomable to think how they constructed such a huge City on the top of such dramaticly steep mountains. I can imagine myself or similar attitue Gringo in charge of constructing the trail or the City and being confronted with the site and going, "lads, we'll have to find another route, this is not going to work". The Inka's just ploughed on - maybe they were all sleep walkers and that's the real reason they disappeared.......

After leaving for Aguas Calientes to wait for our train, we got up close to the absolutely raging Urubamba river; no wonder it caused such devastation during the rainy season; it was still an absolute torrent. We spent the afternoon and evening in the pub watching footy and celebrating an amazing few days then it was back to Cusco and a free day; our first and last for some time! And of course we used it constructively; so constructively that I felt absolutely dreadful on the flight to Arequipa the next day. How we all managed to go out again in Arequipa is a mystery; those Pisco Sours were truly something special........ Arequipa was a very cool place too and our base for the trip to the Colca Canyon. Another tour guide, another hungover group who didn't ask any questions....... We made it to our overnight lodge after driving past huge cone shaped volcanoes and crossing a 5000M pass, (maybe it was the hangover or maybe it was just that I was becoming immune to the incredible scenery), which had the most amazing setting in this lush valley with terraced sides and snow capped peaks in the distance. We had a nice dip in the Hot Springs that evening with the Kumuka crew who were now definately following us before Em cleaned up again in the Poker. The next day was our trip deep into Canyon Country and to the Condor Cross. The Canyon is spectacular, two ridiculously steep sided mountians separated by a tiny strip of water. If it was New Zealand there would be a bungee here...... A 1000M plus bungee............. And to cap it all, as we walked along the valley edge being amazed by the spectacular scenery, we see Condors glide past, above you, below you and at eye level literally just a few metres away. It's mesmerizing watching these huge birds fly past. With wingspans of up to 3M and with how close they are you can actually hear the sound of the air brushing over their wings and see into their eyes. Incredible!

Everything was coming thick and fast now and on returning to Arequipa we had a few hours until our night bus. Finaly plans were drawn up for the party the following evening and plans were made to meet up with the Kumuka crew in Lima. We got to Nazca and found ourselves sun bathing and swimming in a pool for the first time for a while. Finally we had left the altiplano behind and were at a more civilised height. A few of us chose to do the flight over the desert to see the mysterious lines - a series of geometric and animal shapes carved into the dry Nazca Desert. It's pretty impressive, made even more so by the fun of flying at less than 200M in a tiny Cessna! That night and it's finally time for our Eighties Pool Party. Everyone makes a huge effort, even Andy and I who weren't going to bother, (we both ripped up white t-shirts and camped it up Wham style). Many beers, much Pisco, drinking games and fully clothed swimming later and we'd engaged in conversation with the 24 Swedes who had turned up at our Hotel in their big pink buses. That was an interesting night........

No rest as we headed for Huacachina, the desert oasis. Amazing place - huge sand dunes for miles and miles with this beautiful oasis just there in the middle of it all. We went Dune Buggying, (immense fun, like being on a rollercoaster on the sand), and sandboarding. Also much fun, (you can tell even I'm getting bored now and want to finish this epic blog!). Seriously though, I can't carry on trying to explain how immense everything has been - the only blip was the next place; Pisco, (apart from the seafood and the Pisco Sours!). It stank and felt very threatening. The only reason we were there was for the Islas Ballestas. The poor man's Galapagos supposedly but it was still an amazing place. I'
ve never seen so many birds in one place before - Penguins, Pelicans, Inka Turns, Boobies - the list went on. There was also a huge amount of Sea Lions, incuding one bay where it was literally a carpet of Sea Lions either basking in the sun on top of each other or swimming in the surf. The place stinks of guano, (bird poo which is harvested by Peruvians as fertilizer - it was once the prime export of the Peruvian economy; and believe me, there is a s***load of s*** on these Islands).

And now, I'm on my to Mancora having spent too long in Lima, (4 days). Not much to do there; Miraflores is nice and the dancing fountains and light show is cool. We spent a couple of nights celebrating and saying goodbye to people. Slowly but surely everyone left me, ("why do they always leave!?"). Despite me first of all hoping Andy would not manage to sort his passport out in time for his flight and then hoping the eruption in Iceland would prevent people from leaving, it was just me. And the Germans. And the Kumuka crew. Meike and Michaela had their flight cancelled so were stranded in Lima. It was sad to say farewell to everyone, especially Andy, Kate and Em - makes me realize how much I miss home and my family and friends. However, I was also excited about being independant again and very excited about the prospect of finally hitting a beach again - the first time since New Zealand if you don't count La Serena. So - that brings me up to date. I am now travelling with a Kiwi called Caroline and we should be on the beach, surfing or kite surfing very soon. We're also staying the one of the main party places in Mancora, Loki Del Mar so hoping to meet a few others who want to be part of my amazing trip!

I doubt any of you have read this far but for me, when I get this all printed out as my journal and read it in many years to come - I'm hoping it will help me capture the way I felt and remember all the incredible memories.

Thanks to Hernan and everyone on the tour for making it so immense. And to Andy, Kate and Em for spending a small fortune each to come visit me.

And to rest of you still reading these - not long now and I can bore you in person.

I hope everyone is well and looking forward to what should be a great Summer.

Ciao, hasta muy pronto!

Matt.