We were greeted us was a concouphony of characters, a bunch of mis-fits if we did ever see one. Two Dutch male divorcées, two young American teachers, 6 Argentinian blokes, one elderly Indian bloke (soon to be known as Mr India), one elderly Chinese woman, two Aussie blokes and us. We sat there sharing stories and surveying the damage with the two Aussies who sensibly enough were there just for the trip to Cat Ba island and would unfortunately miss the end of this storey. Mr India was a 65-70+ gentle man in a shirt wholly jumper, navy suit and new balance trainer combo! He had bottle top glasses, nineteen fifties style nickel embossed binoculars and a wisp of grey hair just about managing to cling onto the side of his head in the strong breeze. Originating from Bangalore he had left his wife and children at home and was on a wild one. 15 days in Bangkok, 15 in Vietnam and 15 more in Bangkok to round it off. A man about town with a telling smile stretching from ear to ear as soon as Thailand was mentioned, his chosen accommodation was dorm rooms, his chosen food anything not nailed down. As luck would have it (or not) he was roomies with the Chinese lady.

The evening would not have reviled the Ibiza party boats but a lively dinner was followed by mostly early nights. Morning was upon us and we all gradually filled the seats of the large dinning table, as the last of us entered the Chinese lady rose graciously from her chair with an announcement soon to follow. "I have not slept a wink" she announced, "Mr India, has kept me awake all night with dirty noises and sexual innuendo" "disgusting man" "pervert". A look of shock, intrigue and amazement shot across are faces, meanwhile Mr India was happily rolling up slices of bread and dunking them meaningfully into his coffee! Not a s*** was given that day by Mr India, he was soon off the boat none the worse off. Are request of more detailed descriptions of events was regrettably unsuccessful!

On with the day we headed via the many islands back to the dock. We received an aggressive and unwelcome call from the guide that had disembarked the boat with Mr India and the majority of the boat, he requested the $4 he had lent us and in return he wouldn't cancel our return to Hanoi! Con men to the last the Vietnamese tourism representatives were all money money money and no delivery. Given the standard of our trip and the many missing promised elements we were less than forthcoming with his request. Two hours later, compromise made (painfully in his favour!) we delivered the guides precious $4 to the bus driver only when we were safely seated!!! Finally back we picked up our bags received our less than "full" refund for our cancelled tour and jumped on the next bus, to the train station and onward to the hill tribes of Sapa!